I fart into the hoover pipe as it's too bad to emit into air. All the hoover contents empty out as a solid block a day later

 

Mine too. After red wine it's the same colour as cow pat!

 

Anyone see that film, the human centipede? For some reason this thread made me think of that. Lol.

 

anything with onion in there will make me trump like a train

 

You're not well

 

Dropped one in the shower the other day, that was bad as it wouldn't go away.

 

I think sprout and cabbage are my killer farts
I have been know to leave a room because there that bad.

 

Wimmins pregnancy farts. Musty, rich, thick with a tinge of egg about them. So, so thick and foul, they're literally like gloating bags of poo that won't go away or degenerate. My Mrs did them every night for 6 months whilst pregnant. I've never forgiven her and I had to double dose my asthma inhaler some nights!

Switched off like a light once our son was born.

 

what about the classic beans on toast ?? sometimes I can clear a room, other times nothing !!!!

must agree with Urban, Guinness is good for you (apparently) they used to think that the smell in Dublin was The Liffy but I think it was really all of the Guinness farts

---> windyboy <---

 

So you are living upto your username then

 

Indeed windyboy - beans are dynamite too.
Especially the flavoured versions.

 

Chips or beer/lager.

But chips PLUS beer/lager are rank as hell!


But the overall 'winner' has to be 'sweet'-smelling farts - just plain wrong on so many levels.

 

But if animals are in the equation, then a fart from a big dog - you know, those Pedigree Chum-reeking ones - make me wanna hurl...

 

Protein shake farts, but it needs to have lactose to set me off.

It burns on the way out it's that bad!!

 

Anyone notice the distinct lack of contributions from our female brethren.

 

That is because females don't fart they pass wind which is different in their opinion

 

female's don't be quiet or keep their mouth's long enough for the back pressure to build up

windyboy

 

burnt toast gives a nice roasty flavor


and to my knowledge girls to not fart or pass wind

 

That' because this thread is about something as **** as farts FFS!

However, farts are not gender-specific. Everyone farts. Females do it in a civilised way, though. You don't hear it, but if you get a wiff uncoiling in the air, and if its not you, its deffo HER, you should know that. Not in an uncivil manner like men, who lift their one leg up to part their butt cheeks, and then let it go in full force with dual sound projection- one earthshaking sound from the butt hole, and one from the mouth, saying, "BOLLOX............!". They don't do things like that while they are dating. They do pass sneaky ones during that moonlight period, of course. But once they move in, they take liberties and fart out loud for the country.

On the subject, nothing beats the post-vindaloo TakeAway fart. A man after having a vindaloo bombards and reeks, while a woman reeks with no sound or little pathetic psst...... sound.

 

Unintentional pun of the month winner

 

How do you know it was unintentional?

Thanks for the medal, though.

 

The farts I released today were from a special store that I keep after two weeks of poor quality carbohydrate, plentiful protein and alcohol in the US, reserved for the ignorant bitch in front of me who declined the "delicious" Virgin meal and decided to recline her seat fully into mine, leaving six foot of me with about 2 cm of space, no warning, no consideration so the gloves were off.

I dropped several fruitsome aromas, a Carl Jr six dollar burger and Diet Dr Pepper, served up with Vegas Breakfast buffet experimentation gone wrong provided the raw power, normally I would go and perform a controlled explosion in the toilets but no, this was war, I just let them go as they arrived and I am ashamed to say, there was some wafting....

 

Oh, jacko! Good revenge, but It is generally terrible when people let a stinky one out in closed public spaces and on public transport. Yours is worse than someone letting it lose in a cinema hall. In cinema hall, at least you could get out for a bit or move away if you can't bear it. When it happens on a plane, victims can do sod all. They can't wind the windows down to let the stench out, or jump out of the aeroplane for fresh air. Either you put up, or shut the f**k up. That is one serious torture!

 

I'm giggling like a little kid at this thread.

It's the sheer enthusiasm of the posters which is hilarious.


At least we now know where the collective SN watermark (or should that be skidmark?) lies.

 

protein farts by bodybuiderw with excess use of fast digesting whey are the worts ever ever

barring some kind of gastronintestinal issue lol

but after a while they become "lovable" by the emitter lol

 

Indian if ive eaten Sheek kebabs there like a Bomb going off, but mainly when im poorly i smell like the dog

 

Does anyone childishly amuse themselves by still using the word, blow-off? I do.

 

Egg and onion sandwiches washed down with the Black stuff will produce awesome "air biscuits"

 

Ewwww. I bet!

 

White pudding supper, mmmmmmm.