tony de wonderful

Do you find them more straight fwd finalzero, like you can just express what you want and you know they are picking it up?

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Oh I don't know about that.

I'm pretty certain that If I left you with a person I know for a day that by the evening you'd be plotting his murder. Or at least planning a method of escape away from his presence.

However, I'm not sure if he's Aspergers, Autistic or whatever....but he has a "I'm always right" complex. Rarely accepts anyone else's point of view/opinion (and has to argue it), aggorophobic, can't deal with strangers and to those he knows well, goes on for absolutely ages over totally self infactuated things that surround him, his life and his interests and has abolsutely no interest in anything or anyone else.

Maybe he's just nuts. I don't know. All I know is he ain't quite right in the head.

I haven't seen him for a while...last time was after I gave him a lift and I couldn't get him out of the car...he just kept jabbering on and on and on. I must have wasted half a gallon of fuel with the engine idling

Turbohot

I do know a highly annoying being with the diagnosis of AS, who suffers with "I am always right" complex. He has a natural ability to p!ss people off. Extremely insecure, sneaky, power hungry, one-dimensional thinker and a viewer, very critical of others' ignorable mistakes, patronising, tiresome talker and uses big words to express petty things. He is full of stories of his high achievements that are not that high TBH. He scores higher in failures than achievements. He is always going on about his love for perfectionism (needs to get a life and live in a real world). This one is not aggorophobic at all. In fact he pushes himself on to people, and forces them to hear his waffle. He is a very loud political correctness preacher, and has zero tolerance to what is not PC. We are aware of his AS, so we tolerate him to the point. When he starts doing our heads in, he has to be brutally told to STFU. He blabbers on a lot about his personal relationships in front of people who are not interested in his floating, sinking or drowned Titanic. In his defence, he can store a lot of word-to-word knowledge in his head, which is a huge plus point for his work i.e. collating information to develop policies and professional standards of a public authority. We call him a human filing cabinet.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Crikey TH, you've pretty much descibed him to a tee. Barring the aggorophobia, which came later on. At one point he was always badgering people to go out and do things with him, but it was always on his terms...never had a interests in doing what someone else wanted to do. I often ended getting roped in as it was the easy option, as to go against what he wanted or planned would result in a barrage of questions of why and his unacceptance of that, sometimes getting pretty offensive about it.

I don't know where or how aggorophobia came about, but maybe it stemed from his failure in life and interacting with people? He blamed his medication (maybe true). I personally think he pushed someone too far at work and they decked him for it, as it coincided with him quitting his job (he hasn't worked since).

Last time I spoke to him he pissed me off that much I told him to sod off. Basically he was trying to organise a Birthday outing for me. Now that sounds nice and thoughtful, maybe to him it was...but its only with people he want to be with, at places he wanted to go, on a day he want to go (not my birthday), someonelse would have to drive, and he'll expect everyone else to pay and do the running around on his behalf. Never once did he ask what I wanted or if I was already doing something (which I was - I was going on holiday for the month), and he became so overbearing that I simply snapped.

Yeah I feel bad about it and maybe I was harsh on him. But only because he didn't know any better, something had to give.

TelBoy

Banking, which isn't something to shout from the rooftops these days. I do a job which requires amongst other things precision and attention to detail, and doesn't depend directly on anyone else to achieve results. As such, it's pretty much AS perfect, even though i had no idea why until relatively recently.

TelBoy

All of the above, tick. I can be hopeless at watching films because i dwell on something for so long that by the time i'm ready to think about something else, the film has moved on 10 minutes and i've lost the plot, literally!

OCD, ha, with bells on. Check my post count. At the time i was posting prolifically it was almost the sole object of my attention. My life is characterised by phases where i will focus on something almost to the exclusion of all else. I have pretty thorough knowledge of quite a few diverse subjects because i became engrossed in them for months, sometimes years at a time, and needed to know everything. I also have an over-sensitivity to some noises, again totally typically of AS. Sniffing is top of my list, i actually have to carry noise blockers on the train with me to prevent me getting anxious from all the sniffing around me. On the upside though, my hearing (as with all my senses actually) is extremely keen, and my hi-fi (again a solitary indulgence!) is one of my passions. All the other typical AS hobbies i also do or have done, like i say i almost write the book for Asperger's Syndrome!

But i don't mind being AS because i don't know any other way. People think i've missed out on lots of things because i shy away from what you'd call social activities, but to me that's a living hell. Pubs, dinner parties etc, i really struggle with them. Like most Aspies i'm task-orientated and would rather accomplish something rather than what i see as wasting time just making small talk. I just don't have any interest in that sort of activity.

Finding a partner who can accept AS is not easy, although i've never had problems actually attracting women. But finding somebody who truly understands you and can accept you with all your foibles, that's much harder. But as i said before, diagnosis is the key, it makes everything easier, from both sides of the relationship. And once you find that person, it will be the most rewarding eperience of your life.

TelBoy

Good post, TH, though it does of course highlight the very real drawbacks of having AS. I'm sure via my posts on Scoobynet i've displayed most of those characteristics over the years, mostly unintentionally. Hopefully i've never bragged of my achievements and i really could have done, but somehow i've always regarded those as private. We're definitely an odd personality to get along with, especially on something like an impersonal chat board like this. But i guess it's that diversity which keeps things interesting for the most part.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

I thought you were just a cocky know it all!

Turbohot

Hi Tel,

Not all AS diagnosed people display absolutely identical characterisitics. One AS boy from my kid's primary school was obsessed with biting other kids and himself. He also enticed other kids by saying- "I am a pizza. Come, bite me". That used to put other kids into trouble for biting him. Another AS kid was abnormally bright in academic work, dressed up like an adult, talked like an adult, found school work too easy, got frustrated for the simpliity of it, and broke things around him out of frustration. His special needs support worker at school had a hard job of keeping him occupied. So, as you know, not all Aspergers people do everything what other AS do. It is true that you have never bragged about your achievements here. Even if you did, so what. If it ever went on and on and on, we would have told you to STFU.

You are right about the diversity. The place would be boring if we didn't have the diversity on here. A few months ago, you commented upon giving your own name in your post, in order to show you are around, or similar. You said something like, "God, If I have to put my own name Telboy in my post, which clearly shows that I am the one posting it, I'll have to slash my wrists! " I was in stitches as you had already done what you were mocking. Ronjeremy pointed that out to you, and I nearly said, "Go, slash your wrists now, Tel" You are an interesting poster and one belting arguer. It is fun to read what you post.

finalzero

Yes, most times it's like talking to yourself, "like minded", literally

finalzero

Sounds about right mate, more the extreme end of it, I have worked with people like this (I am probably the same, mates have said "you're a great guy, you just pss people off sometimes"...)

Turbohot

Ali, he may or may not be Aspergers, but he seems to lack social skills. Just because someone may have/has a disablilty issue doesn't mean that others have to put up with their misbehaviour. He seems to be aware of his lack of social skills, and that might be the reason why he is aggorophobic. He seems to take his friends like yourselves for granted, but I think you did the right thing by putting him right. A good friend would put him right and make him aware of his misconduct. If you didn't, how would he know that he acts obnoxious, thus he is at the risk of losing whatever social life he has left? So, I wouldn't feel bad.

finalzero

Haha, yeah I know exactly what you mean.

Aspers tend to be hyper sensitive, I don't express emotions too well but I am empathic and people often have to watch their emotions around me as they end up projecting them on me (or I take em on maybe...) and then I am a mess because I am carrying these feelings around with me.

I love music, but didn't listen to anything until about 5 years ago, then I found certain types of music had a healing effect on me (I like stuff like Scott Huckabay...look up Selfeggio Frequencies, amazing stuff).

I know what you mean about "All or Nothing" - I am like that, if I find something catches my eye, I am the guy who goes all in, finds out every detail and then becomes the annoying git who talks too much.

It helps in my job, to have that level of interest (however I don't always have the precision some Aspers do).

I have a good family life I guess, 4 kids now, who I am starting to relating to and interact with after years (to me they were just 'other people')...my wife often comments I act like a kid, because I am a bit mentally I guess, late bloomer.

Thankfully I didn't resort to medication, I went off the rails a bit sometimes, I had a need to block out the input (if that makes sense) but I found as long as my life is organised and I have a degree of control I am fairly stable, I have become more patient I guess.

Anyway you and I could talk till the cows come home, good to hear from others, what I really wanted to do with this thread, connect.

Good health to everyone!

bigsinky

@Telboy. your self revelation puts a lot of things about your online persona into perspective.

Jamz3k

Has anyone else read this thread and started to wonder if they have AS? I certainly am, a lot of it makes perfect sense for my personality(or lack of)

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Thats's the danger, read into the symptoms of many psychological conditions (not just AS) and you'll likely identify with at least a few of them.

Rather than try and tick boxes to identify with something, I prefer to step back and ask a few questions about myself and who I am and how I treat others....For example is what I am as a person damaging to either myself or those around me? (especially loved ones). If yes, look into it further. If no, I'm ok, regardless if I suffer from anything or not.

JackClark

Can all the sufferers post a picture of themselves? I hear you all look similar.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Probably all look a bit like you, Jack.

You are a rather OCD on a few things.

JackClark

Sometimes obsessive, sometimes compulsive but definitely not a disorder. Personally I don't believe in this Whiny White Person syndrome, too trendy.

TelBoy

Too trendy

If i had a pound for every idiot who thought it was just an imagined state of mind, i'd be a rich man.

JackClark

I don't think it's imagined, I think we're all a bit mental. I guess some people find comfort by being put in a box and given a label.

Silver Angel

On a lighter note regarding this topic when I did my SEN training I came across this book it is very interesting - try it

HADDON, M., The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, Random House, 2003.
Christopher is 15 and has Asperger Syndrome. He finds his neighbour's dog dead one night and decides to 'do some detecting' to solve the crime. His efforts lead to an eventful sequence of events for Christopher and his parents. The story is written in the first person, from Christopher's perspective, and provides an amazing insight into how people with Asperger Syndrome and Autism think. It is funny, sad, exhausting and ultimately very satisfying to read. Whilst noted as a children's book, we would recommend it for teenagers and adults - it is a little gruesome and the language is colourful!

TelBoy

No, it just helps realising that there's a defined set of predicted behaviours and that you're not just being odd for odd's sake. No box ticking, no label fixing. Your language is totally dismissive, Jack. Fair enough, you're not AS so you don't know what it's like, but please don't assume it's just "somebody with poor social skills, so call yourself an Aspie" which is how you obviously think of it. If/when you ever meet a true Aspie, you'll understand, possibly. Till then, probably not the thread for you is it.

JackClark

It's of great interest to me, I have a good friend who has a fantastic child, AS is the latest box she's thrown him into. Personally I think he's bored, but she's happy now.

bigsinky

but you are a rich man Tel, you're a banker..................

Turbohot

I know what you are saying, Jack. It seems to be a fashion these days. Parents of young children are fighting hard to obtain these labels so that no one can see their lack of parenting skills, and blame their child's disease of mind instead. A lot of parents these days use such labels as an excuse to get their child off the hook, if he does something wrong. Parenting skills and environmental factors play a huge part in the child's becoming into a person. Emotional deprivation and other negative experiences in early years of one's life constuct how one feels, thinks and behaves. Therefore, the diagnosed disease/disorder of the mind may not have always been just 'there' in a child. However, labelling can be very helpful for the labelled people to understand themselves better, and can help the society to understand them better, too.

bigsinky

Don't forget the multiple claims to DLA for these pigeon holed illnesses.

JackClark

Please tell me no one's getting paid for being Aspie.

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

Disability Living Allowance can be paid to anyone with a disability pending a medical? If aspergers is classed as a disability?

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

Not sure. I'm not sure how 'easy' it is to get, probably quite for those who know how to play the system. I was told a good while back (by our area manager) to put in a claim due to having epilepsy, but I never bothered. Didn't feel right to.