Thats the best advice, assuming she is amenable to such a discussion.

Les

 

Just a quick update for those that replyed. Me and the ex have managed to sort things out with out including the csa. Its going to cost me another £100 a month, but im happy to do that if it means keeping csa out of my life. Im going to pay her by standing order every month, so il always have proof that i have paid her.

 

Glad to hear that, for peace of mind just get a Simple agreement drawn up between yourself and her that that's what the SO is for.

 

At least you got it all sorted.

 

DO try and get an agreement, get it drawn up properly.

You need to avoid CSA if you can.

 

When u say an agrement, like write a contract up myself sort of thing?

 

Glad its sorted.....


So then, was she fit?

 

You could do if you are good with that type of thing, I doubt that a solicitor would charge much though.

Just wait until you tell her your getting married, or having another kid. It will be money well spent

 

My ex left me in July 2012. I've been paying our joint loan as payment for our son. Time has moved on and I've met a lovely girl , we have just done our mortgage application and bang CSa letter . I rang CSa today and they really as uncaring and unsympathetic as I've read about . Anyway long story short I now need to pay £416 a month and can no longer get the amount I need to buy my house. So my life is screwed . Funny that for two years my loan payment was sufficient now I got my life on track she wants more.

 

when i had problems i found a company in Cradley Heath. I think they were called
CSA consultants it was a few years ago. I think the chaps name was Andrew he knew exactly how to play the CSA. Perhaps try the West Mids forum somebody might know of them. I will warn you he wasnt cheap . Good Luck !

 

Without a shadow of a doubt the CSA are the most ruthless, uncaring and rude people I have ever had the misfortune to deal with.
I split with my ex 11 years ago and paid her the same amount through direct debit since day one, and so did her ex ex, for their daughter. Between me and the father of her almost adult daughter we pay a handsome sum to her each week. So much so that she had a new car and only worked 19 hrs a week. She is also epileptic so gets £50 a week DLA.
2 years ago, just before Xmas and just after I had moved to a bigger more expensive house I had a letter through from the CSA asking for almost double I was paying. My wife burst into tears as we barely have the money to clothe our own 2 children.
It turned out the ex had caught her husband cheating on her and decided that she'd need more money. She denied for a long time even contacting the CSA.
When I spoke to them I asked them had they over calculated as it was extreme. The reply from the lady on the other end was 'we get this from most absent fathers' I was livid! Absent fathers? I'd had him 3 days a week for 11 years! When I said I wanted to appeal the amount they had calculated I was told 'it doesn't matter we will just take it out of your wages'.
I ended up refusing to pick my son up during the week and giving him dinner. She ended up having to try to pay out for child minders during the week which was costing her a fortune. In the mean time the CSA were chasing me like bailiffs, even writing to my employers.
It made no difference that my wife was a stay at home mum as my daughter was then 1, or that we had no benefits at all. It wouldn't have had any effect of my wife was a multimillionaire and all my earnings were pocket money.

Anyway, it would have cost my ex more per week to sort child minders than I was then going to be giving her so she came back tail between her hairy legs and asked if we could go back to the original arrangement. It then took several weeks to get her and the CSA to communicate with each other and agree on the original amount and for the case to be closed.
Shortly after all this a friend showed me a tweet the ex had made 'should I go to nice or New York for a mini-break'. She then also bought my son a Mac book air and an I phone for Xmas.

The whole situation nearly brought me to a nervous breakdown.

 

My ex wife whilst we were married buried Pringle tubes full of cash in our garden.
I only found out after we split when she had a big row with my stepdaughter who then told me what had been going on.. She also got the CSA involved. Bitch !!

 

Some women are maniacs, and the law protects them. My brother had a little girl with a woman very similar to my ex and he's gone through hell the last few years.
The whole process needs a complete overhaul. In the end I had would have been financially far better for me and my 2 youngest if I didn't see my eldest lad at all. That should never be the case.

 

The fella in Cradley sorted things for me £110 per week down to £44 and that was 16 years ago.

 

Sounds good, but it shouldn't take a solicitor.

The current system encourages dads not to stay involved with their kids lives and could cause some dads to discourage their kids from further education.

 

he called hisself a csa consultant,he knew all the angles.

 

The CSA was created to stop the scandal of "fathers" fvcking off and leaving the financial / emotional burden of bringing up children on the mother and the hard working Tax Payer

 

I just can't see how my ex should get £416 a month for one child . My son will never go without. My ex and her partner both work full time so where is the need for 416 pm of my hard earned money . I don't mind paying for my son but that's just too much . It's wrong off me to say but it makes me not want to see him

 

im just curious but what happens if you quit your job? what do csa do then?

 

I read somewhere that they could do you for purposeful payment evasion

 

I will be ringing these on Monday deffo

 

 

Nice thread from the past bump lol

 

And a properly weird thread bump at that.

 

Yes it was supposed to be per week but month slipped in there, I am glad this one was revived as I missed the chance to reply lol.

 

Thread bumper must have been banned see his posts have gone lol

 

Nah looks to be still around. Something weird is going on here.

 

Cheered me up no end

 

No, nothing done by us, the user has deleted their own posts.


I'm too intrigued to think about banning at this point, LOL.

 

His ex would need to be rather retarded to fall for that