Jay: So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe fekcing the one on the floor.
Will: So when do we get to meet these lucky ladies?
Jay: You can't, they've gone back to the playboy mansion.

 

Sadly, the wifes brother is just like this.

Can't go 10 minutes without blurting out some sort of bullsh1t.

Or no matter what your job is, within a similar time frame he is telling you how to do your job.

Never occured to me to liken him to Jay but he is similar with the cobblers.

Whenever he got the train to visit his son he would always meet girls on the trains. It seemed in his world at 4am trains are jammed to the gills with hot sexually active girls.

 

Use to work with a guy like this, whatever you had done or wherever you've been, he's done it bigger and better.

Some work colleagues and I faked a conversation about aliens, so he would over hear it... guess what... he got abducted by aliens!

We took the mickey for months about him being anally probed by aliens!

He later got sacked from his job in HP for sending **** by email.... what a tw@!

 

I think everyone does it to a certain extent, I sometimes embellish a funny story to make it easier to recount or for coic effect but cant actually come out with BS like that, I think these people loose touch with reality, daydream and then cant differentiate between reality and fiction, or just desperate to impress or fit in, sadly BS just alienates you and if you get named Billy BS its all over fo you, these kind of people tend to move about and when you speak to someone who knows them you realise that the tales get taller over time.

I worked with a guy that claimed to have written Sonic the Hedgehog yet was temping for four quid an hour doing data entry.

A lad next door that claimed, as a kid he could get addidas trainers for cost price, basically ten percent, never turned up, he was legendary for it.

You can however get caught out, met a lad from work who was from our Perth office, he turns up in Calgary, we get chatting and he says he flew over on the A380 with Quantas, business class as his brother was the pilot and he got an upgrade, it just didnt sound quite right somehow but he did show me himself and a genetically similar looking chap grinning from the flightdeck of an A380

 

I think everyone does it to a certain extent, I sometimes embellish a funny story to make it easier to recount or for coic effect but cant actually come out with BS like that, I think these people loose touch with reality, daydream and then cant differentiate between reality and fiction, or just desperate to impress or fit in, sadly BS just alienates you and if you get named Billy BS its all over fo you, these kind of people tend to move about and when you speak to someone who knows them you realise that the tales get taller over time.

I worked with a guy that claimed to have written Sonic the Hedgehog yet was temping for four quid an hour doing data entry.

A lad next door that claimed, as a kid he could get addidas trainers for cost price, basically ten percent, never turned up, he was legendary for it.

You can however get caught out, met a lad from work who was from our Perth office, he turns up in Calgary, we get chatting and he says he flew over on the A380 with Quantas, business class as his brother was the pilot and he got an upgrade, it just didnt sound quite right somehow but he did show me himself and a genetically similar looking chap grinning from the flightdeck of an A380

 

I used to work with a guy that said he used to to be in the SBS and used to guard the nucular subs in Iceland, He was also a champion 10 pin bowler, Only reason he came out with this is becuase a few of us at work thought we`d wind him up saying one of the other lads won his 1st game at a new club then he butted in telling is about his 10 pin antics, He was also a semi pro footballer and played for or used to play for Sunderland as a goal keeper (once set up a game and nearly as soon as we got on the pitch he pulled a muscle lol). He was a part time model and if you saw his nose it must of only been for naisal spray it was huge lol

The stories used to roll off his tongue as if they were totally true, Problem was he was our manager and you just couldnt take him seriously after all the bullsh1t he used to come out with.

Oh the funniest was when we attended a colleagues 25th wedding anniversary and a few of us bought a half bottle of brandy to get the night started as it was a lil quite as you can imagine. Any way we we have a quite slurp of this bottle when the same person as above turned up and wanted some too. I told him to give it 20mins as it was looking a lil sus so he did one for abit. About 3 of us then (cant believe I`m telling u guys this) dribbled some pi55 into the bottle and put it in the toilet cysten to cool it down for the said 20mins. He later popped up asking for this drink and by now everyone knew what we were going to do (amazingly he didnt know) I got the drink and was telling him it was an illegal spirit bought from a dodgy bloke I knew. I told him to be very carefull as it was too strong for the normal bloke. He then explained he used to test beers wines and spirits for a company so this drink would be nothing. He then knocked back near enough the whole bottle infact I had to stop him from finishing off the nasty stuff at the bottom of the bottle. Once he drunk it the whole place started clapping and he thought he was billy big ***** !!!! So funny..... But we didnt see him for 4 wks after the party as somehow he`d got a kidney infection lol lol I did feel a lil bad for him though lol

 

lol, Thats class.

Now if the guy who drank pi55 had told this story he would have collasped died and been brough back to life by a stunning paramedic who saved his life then proposed in the ambulance, he said yes off they went, but then on the way to hospital a fatal car crash killed her and there is no evidence whatsover she existed. hey i could get good at this

 

I knew this lad on a forum once, claimed to be living the dream and driving a 335d

 

If you've been to Tenerife, they've been to elevenerife, as the saying goes.

 

I have actually been to Elevenerife, much better, sunnier and the chicks are hotter

 

The telling of tall tales reminds me of the "four Yorkshiremen" sketch. This is how its really done. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDaSvRO9xA

 

Sounds like a guy I work with. The list of stories is comical.

Recently he went to the Monaco grand prix, and showed us a pics (very quickly on his iPad). 2 problems.

1) He must have a press pass
2) Brawn cars are not competing this year! You can find the pic on google.

His parent have a house in florida and he can jump over the fence to get in to Disneyland.

His dad was CEO of computer associates.

He's getting a Bentley.

He went diving to the sea of cortez, but had to fly his equipment over before he went. Although the first time he went.....he didn't as his mate had a car crash on the way yo the airport.

He was a competitive swimmer and lifegaurd.

Drove a jeep off a cliff.

Rolled his car.

He recently flew direct to Vegas on BA......

He has a T3 connection to his home.

There are hundreds more, I just can't remember them all.

 

Sounds like a guy I work with. The list of stories is comical.

Recently he went to the Monaco grand prix, and showed us a pics (very quickly on his iPad). 2 problems.

1) He must have a press pass
2) Brawn cars are not competing this year! You can find the pic on google.

His parent have a house in florida and he can jump over the fence to get in to Disneyland.

His dad was CEO of computer associates.

He's getting a Bentley.

He went diving to the sea of cortez, but had to fly his equipment over before he went. Although the first time he went.....he didn't as his mate had a car crash on the way yo the airport.

He was a competitive swimmer and lifegaurd.

Drove a jeep off a cliff.

Rolled his car.

He recently flew direct to Vegas on BA......

He has a T3 connection to his home.

There are hundreds more, I just can't remember them all.

 

Best thread in ages !! Ive had a propa laugh at some of em ! bring more to the table its great lol

 

Some folks really do live in their own little world. It's great when they get found out

Some good tales on here

 

Sounds Like a guy who i work with.

Tells us all he has a personal trainer and goes to the gym, then every morning comes back with a massive plate of fried food from the canteen. He then swigs on coke all day and eats multi-pack crisps all day.

Swam with Tiger sharks and came face-to-face with one and it turned away.


Flys out to Dubai all the time.

Father-in-law has a box at Wembly then at the O2 alternates each week as he forgets which one hes told us about.

Said he was on holiday in Caracas then someone at work commented he was on his Xbox live.

And many many more.

 

I forgot a couple of harmless ones from booze fuled conversations with my friends;

Chris: "my dad invented the glue that sticks concorde's wings on"

Camp (Paul, but a very ladylike version of a Paul): "my dad played chess with a Russian Chess master"

Me: "yeah ok Kasperov"

 

one of the worst bull****ters i ever had the displeasure of meeting was one of my wifes exes. i was having a kickabout with some of her mates and he turns up in a complete chelsea kit and starts laying it on that he plays for the chelsea reserve team and we won't have a chance. now he must of weighed about 16-17 stone and certainly didn't impress with his skills. after a couple of minutes he goes of with an injury and was telling everyone that jose mouriniho was going to be angry with him as he was going to be breaking into the first team that weekend. i honestly nearly died laughing at him.

 

Used to work with a (very over weight) guy (ex-RAF REMF) and he would come up with all sorts of stories about how he had done HALO jumps and been on black ops bla bla bla and he used to train SF for interrogation. He used to try and impress me with his "class 1" driving course that the RAF sent him on because he was on call for ops 24/7. He could not drive for sh*t. His mum died 3 times that I know of, and his car used to break down about once a week (it was a brand new Honda company car) with a mystery fault and then just moments after the meeting / training he was meant to be at was over the car would be working again.

Space Cadet with honours. On nights out he would start telling his stories about being in the far east on secret missions, but dont tell anyone about it - ok, and that its all hush hush. We used to take the p1ss saying that no parachute ever made would take his weight!

Then there is another guy I know who tells stories about rock climbing, playing rugby, cycling and martial arts all at a top national level. But he has also had a knee replacement and broke his back and could not walk. Oh and he used to be 18 stone and was a semi pro rugby star in his day yet no one that knows him has ever known him be more than 11 stone wet!

As others have said, I do feel sorry for these people - they feel the need to make up such stories. Mostly harmless though but the people that go to lengths to try and make it "real" are proper psychos IMHO.

 

Bloke in a pub was telling me his work history once. Gave me his full CV. About 8 different companies, 5 years here, 10 years there, even stayed at one for about 15 years, he looked pretty good for a man of 120 oh yea he also made and lost a million in one day on the :internet:

 

Chap I used to work with was full of amazing stories of what he had done. However the one about eight days in an Israeli jail for various drug offences was actually quite believable....

 

One recently a few days ago a new guy started working with us,started bragging about how he was in the Army and did his p company training in the paras..What he didn't know was my work mate standing next to him had spent 25 yrs in the forces and also did his p company training.Ohh really so did you know this guy and that guy etc etc..Ohh well they asked me to sign on for so many yrs so i told them to forget it LOL soon but an end to that...

 

Worked with a guy once who worked 180hrs a week

But was forever late for work lol,

One morning he never turned in, and given that it was his xxth occurrence,

the chances were that he would be let go.

Anyway one of the other guys comes in late, and says BS wont be in,

as he was in hospital, apparantly he had a suspected heart attack on the

way to work.

Turns out, he was cycling in with BS, and both were late, and when

they got to the traffic lights near work, they were on red, BS then

proceeds to fall of his bike onto the pavement clutching his chest, so the

other guy calls an ambulance, and the BS is carted off to hospital.

Then at about 11am BS turns up to work, with a bottle of pills and is

ready to work. not sure if it was a heart attack but on pills just in case..

he didn't need to take it easy etc , or see his gp etc

He didn't last much longer lol

Mart

 

He also spent most of his life sucking his own ****.

 

this thread reminded me of the below thread. My fave was post 47

for those of you who weren't on here back then

https://www.scoobynet.com/409570-235...e-liars-2.html

 

Never worked with anyone like this.

 

Worked with a similar sort of person, so we used to make incredible stories or situations up, just so they would always try and top it. Every one (like with this guy) was in the know and joined in.

 

A lad who came to work with us in Tenerife was a complete bull****ter.

He was ex-sapper and SBS. He could drink three bottles of rum in a night. He was a master in yoga etc. He was vegetarian - though we watched him eating rabbit in a restaurant...

Everyone took an immediate exception to him and he was dragging down morale in the office. The gaffer decided we should have a team-bonding evening and sent himself out with myself and a fellow programmer. By this point the **** was on his final warning for getting up late and had been warned that if he was late one more time, he'd be on the next flight back to the UK.

After listening to some bull**** story about a couple buying him beers all night then taking him back to their apartment so he could bang the woman while her husband filmed it, I decided I could take no more.

I issued a challenge that if anyone mentioned anything work-related, we would have to neck a drink, but the first person to give-in would pay for dinner and drinks instead of the company picking up the bill. We paid for the restaurant, and went to the next bar and chose a table outside, where he immediately started talking about work...

What he didn't know was that for every glass of rum he had - and they do serve large measures out in Tenerife - myself and my other colleague who was also in on this, were on the vodka. When I say vodka, I mean water.

Once happy that he wouldn't be going to work the next morning (as he was slumped face down on the table), we chucked him in the back of the car and dropped him off and went to our local for a few beers

Nothing was said for three days until the gaffer decided to ask me if I was behind it. I can only assume the bar-staff told him what we were doing

And that's how to get rid of the smell of bull**** from your office

 

Studied artificial intellegance at the university of Minesota

 

A lad I went to school with did classic tales

When he took his cycle to halfords and they dipped it in a giant paint pot in the back of the shop instead of spraying it with an aerosol


He used to import drain covers from aberdene and drive them down to London to sell and had a metro 1.3 with a turbocharger that was faster then my old xr3i
Still keep in touch with him and he has been married 3times but has always had lots of women and the amount of times he has left women with all his worthy goods in the back of his BMW 318 ( really a m3 he claims but want the attention )is amazing

Someware down in London now on 2k a week he tells me