Ridiculous tall tales from a work colleague
 

I have recently had to work with someone who tells the most unbelievable tall stories. He is in his early 40s and should really know better.

Claims to have been in a car accident about a month ago where the car rolled, no other cars involved, yet he is driving the same car, which has near perfect bodywork and paintwork. Story evolved into a tale about how great his mates car body repair business is - his mate must be a miracle worker is obviously the moral of that story.

I shared some information with a young colleague earlier in the week about a job offer which I turned down about two years ago. Salary was excellent but I turned the job down because it involved a lot of time spent overseas. Moral of the story to my young colleague was that when you are trying to climbing the career ladder, make sure the ladder is leaning against the right wall. Our man overheard the discussion and told me he too was offered the same job, but he wanted to negotiate the salary upwards and turned it down because the company wouldn't negotiate with him.

Today, after a meeting I was informally chatting to the MD of a company that I contract some work to; he was telling me he was pulling out of local motorsport, as his company was having to make some cutbacks in the current economic climate. Our man joined the conversation telling us he owned a share in a 'rally car' that he and his mate raced. Having an interest in cars and motorsport, I asked for some further detail. I nearly injured myself laughing when he told me it was a Ford Focus, and it was fitted with a set of pedals for the driver and a footbrake that the "co-pilot" could use if the driver was going to fast. His mate would drive some stages and he would drive some, because he got dizzy and sick if he "had to read the maps for too long"!!!!

I am not sure if the guy is a little bit delusional, or if he thinks me and my colleagues are so stupid that we believe his every word. I got a bit impatient with him today, and was tempted to make a complete idiot out of him, but then realised it was wasted effort as no-one actually believes a single word he says anyhow. It worries me that in his head he has convinced himself all this stuff is true, and he recounts these tales with a degree of sincerity, even though they are wholly untrue. I really want to wind him up for entertainment value, but worry that I may be dealing with someone who is in some way mentally unstable. Anyone else know, work or have to live with with someone of a similar character???

You sure you're not talking about certain members on Scoobynet ? :Suspiciou One or two certainly spring to mind ;) :lol1:

here's a poster for the wall mate
http://images4.cpcache.com/product_z...quare-true.jpg

Used to work with a guy who was much the same.

Amongst other things he claimed:

- he was a base jumper
- a karate expert
- ex world BMX Champion
- had been accpeted by the RAF to fly fighters but decided it wasn't for him
- recovered from motor-neurone disease
- his girlfrined was an ex pornstar

Now picture a typical geek with milk bottle bottom glasses, the dress sense of a scarecrow, a voice more monotonic than a monotonic thing, more meat on a jockey's whip and a face like a pizza.... and you can imagine how much fun we had with him.

The BMX one was funny because we looked him up on the net and couldn't find him so claimed he had changed his name by deed poll and gave us the name of a BMX champion... until we found a picture of the guy who was clealry the exact opposite of him.... and American LOL. Then he said there were two people with that name in BMX.... and so on and so forth....until it just became embarrassing.

It's amazing how many compulsive liars are around and how unbelievable they are.

I was working with a guy who had similar tall tales to tell a few years ago, they were absolute belters too.
The most memorable ones were:

His dad used to fly the helicopter in the Barrat homes adverts of the 80's and 90's.

One time he was late for work and forgot his lunch, he was about 5 miles from home and did not have time to turn back so he phoned his dad who attached his lunch box to a radio controlled car and somehow caught up with him on the road! I never did find out how his dad was able to steer it from home with out seeing round corners as by the time he finished the story we were in knots of laughter and he sulked with us for not believing him.

There is a guy my wife works with who claims he co-owns a 400bhp cossie transit, he was racing a ferrari one day and couldn't shake him so he dipped the clutch and revved it, causing flames to shoot from the exhaust which actually melted the front of the ferrari.

I hope there are more of these, they`re brilliant. Genuine :lol1: Reminds me of the boy on inbetweeners, simples..

everyone knows a bs1tter like this. The scary thing is, when you start telling the stories, you wonder if you are that bs1tter that no-one believes :eek:

Haha:lol1:, That reminds me, there was a recent episode of inbetweeners where Jay said he punched a cow and knocked it out. My sister in law's new lad actually came out with the very same comment while drunk last weekend (Although he didn't add the bit about the cow getting up on its back legs and firing milk out of it's tits) :D

had a joker like this before, your chatting away and they butt in saying 'had one of those' 'ive done that too' etc etc

this other lad who i worked with lost his rag once and said listen fcukwit if i was talking to you i would look at you, go dream up your fantasies somewhere else!! lol a tad harsh but the stories soon stopped

nutters the lot of them

It's worrying when you're recounting tales like this because you yourself are super unlucky / bizarre life etc and people just look at you like your talking pure bull****.

I've been in that position before and in the end just stopped talking unless I had proof on hand to shut up my arsey colleagues. It's not very nice! :(

Then again, complete bull****ters at work are funny. I work with a woman who's done everything, been everywhere, knows everything and is just so 'perfect'. :lol1::lol1::lol1:

Try calling him Walter Mitty!

Les

you're not in the Cabinet are you Tarmac

Lol we got one of these at work too, well a couple actually.
One has been there and done that to anything you have or want to do, the other has slept with or knocked back the worlds fittest girls.

Fights on the way to work, arguments in shops, foiling robberies etc. It's funny to an extent, but also quite sad.

Yep

Got one of those in work at the moment.

No matter what you've done or where you've went it's been there but better
Went and stayed in a castle(with butlers etc) in Italy somewhere for a week - because of one of its contacts :Whatever_

Claims to know many stars, not only just British, but several US film stars
Been to dinner with them at the weekend etc.

Irritating b@stard :mad:

please for the mother of god leave these people alone, can you imagine how boring it would be without them:D

I've found that the best salesmen i've worked with are also the best at telling tall tales. One fella I worked with used to always come in telling us about his Dad's cars, Ferrari's, Rollers, high end Mercs etc etc and how his Dad was worth millions. I met his Dad one night getting a taxi home from Belfast. His taxi certainly wasn't a Ferrari.

Another guy who I worked with was a bit more bizarre in his story telling. All his lies were quite horrible, like his girlfriend having miscarriages or his grannies dying etc. He got the boot in the end due to his lies. He even tried to steal my identity within the place we work, dressing like me, haircut like me and was even telling people he was the assistant manager etc. He was a pure crackpot.

Yeah not all compulsive liars are sociopaths, some are just harmless 'Walter Mitty' types as you mention.

I guess you have to just humour them, so long as their lies are not malicious.

I've met both sorts in my time.

These people brighten up boring Monday mornings:lol1: Anyway they are not just in the work place, I get people come up to me to ask me about my impreza then tell me about the 1500 bhp rally slag that their brothers mates sisters father in law races.

used to know a bloke in my area:

he claimed he could drive but couldn't and his car was a volvo convertible- this was the early 90's- they never made them !

head of an IT company............however we did know that it was that he copied 3 1/2" discs in his parents house.

sold double glazing but to the niche market that only wanted triangular windows.

bought gas from shell oil and sold it to british gas ?


also met someone who claimed to be in a band---- prove it then ? this is me (shows us an album) but claimed he'd changed his name on the sleeve work ..........

Bullsh1t in spades :lol1:

http://www.theinbetweenersmusic.co.u...rs_season1.jpg

A family 'friend' used to be American, she played in a famous orchestra out there and her dad was the pilot of the plane that went into the twin towers. She also had MS for a few years and a brain tumour but she now seems have recovered from them, her dads come back to life and her American accent has turned back to Yorkshire :/

I could go on for pages about the other many lies that shes told, lives shes destroyed and companies that she has/is defrauding. I really dont understand the mentality of these people!

LOL when he said he lost his virgnity to the cleaner when he was 9.

Will asked if his cleaner was Gary Glitter :D :D :D

We have a Captian Bullsh!t here.

Does my head in.

What happened to scoobynets resident super bullsh1tter? I miss those threads:lol1:

I think he only resides in Other Marques now .
You do mean Mwattybouy dont you .!!!!:lol1::lol1:

To be fair, Mattee did back up all (or most) of his claims. I think more of a boaster than a bullsh1tter.

I used to work with a guy who told the most unbelieveable stories all the time. He quickly earned himself the name Billy Bullsh1t amongst the shop floor lads.

Every weekend he would tell you how he'd saved someones life or captured 5 burglars and knocked them all out.

This thread is hilarious lol, i too had a mate like this, compulsive lier that forgot previous lies then lied the opposite way then backtracked, it was funny till it was about rent he owed me for livin at mine for a while, end result no longer mates and he still owes me £360. What goes around comes around i say.

I do think though that these people are mentally ill. As they cant differentiate reality and fiction

i plan ahead with my stories too lol, i know the usual from mates of yeah right sure you did etc, so always have pre prepared proof of what im saying with inconclusive evidence lol, although lately my life isnt intresting enough to need to as i have no stories haha

Theres a guy in my local pub, only comes in on a Saturday with the regulars but he's so full of **** that I cant even look at him anymore.

This guy got a wheelchair from the hospital based on him being in severe pain (they couldnt identify anything wrong with him), he wheels himself into the pub and the landlady had to help him numerous times over the course of the afternoon wheeling him into the disabled lav.

3 days later, the landlady spots the same douche jogging past the window.

He claims he doesnt dye his hair, however throughout the course of a few weeks he goes from solid jet black hair to ginger / grey with a grey stripe around the base of his head about 1" thick - its flipping amazing.

He has also claimed to be a Karate Black Belt, when one of the other lads from the pub suggested they spar he finds some bull**** about not doing it anymore because of his back.

Apparantly his dad who is dead now (even though he's faked his death a few times) was a gangland mastermind from London who made Ronnie and Reggie look like Bert and Ernie, he declined to take over the "family business" (yes he used air quotation marks when saying it).

There's more but to be honest he annoys me to the point where I just ignore him now. If I know hes full of it I cant bring myself to talk to him at all.