Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"
29 October 2010, 03:18 PM
#571
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Cheers Les, im pretty much set on that being the case now. Gonna be leaving in the early hours, and taking some much needed time out up there. Saw my sister this morning, she just acted like nothing has happened, didnt even mention being sad she could not make it.
Spoke to mum this morning, didnt raise the issue with her. I will mention it one last time this evening after I have spoken to the woman looking after my aunt.
After that, its all about me.
Gonna try and stay chirpy about it, and take in some sights while up there too.
Spoke to mum this morning, didnt raise the issue with her. I will mention it one last time this evening after I have spoken to the woman looking after my aunt.
After that, its all about me.
Gonna try and stay chirpy about it, and take in some sights while up there too.
30 October 2010, 12:24 PM
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Well I'm standing by Conwy Castle at the mo. Arrived here this morning, on my own as expected, so no shocks there.
There is a Rally demo on today, so I'm passing some time here til visiting hours start at the new hospital.
Been great spending some time on the beaches, and at some sentimental places this morning. Gonna be at the hospital prompt for visiting hours as they are rather short.
It was confirmed yesterday evening that she does have bone cancer too, so that's breast and bone that they know of, liver suspected too.
There is a Rally demo on today, so I'm passing some time here til visiting hours start at the new hospital.
Been great spending some time on the beaches, and at some sentimental places this morning. Gonna be at the hospital prompt for visiting hours as they are rather short.
It was confirmed yesterday evening that she does have bone cancer too, so that's breast and bone that they know of, liver suspected too.
31 October 2010, 01:54 PM
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Thanks mate, visit was great, lovely to see her and spend some quality time with her. Had a long day up there, arrived just after 9am but visiting was not till 2pm. So took some time getting to some places I miss.
After leaving her I went to see the couple, her neighbours, who are caring for her. Just to size them up, check intentions were genuine etc (has to be done).
Had a great chat with them, and left with an inner warmth that she is being well looked after and with love.
Only concern is a nephew from her deceased husbands side. Has recently popped up on the scene. Intentions could be legit, but worth keeping an eye on. Apparently he did similar a few years back, a will was changed etc. But being an ex chief inspector he carries respect and trust.
So something to be aware of. Will be back up there soon, looking forwards to it.
After leaving her I went to see the couple, her neighbours, who are caring for her. Just to size them up, check intentions were genuine etc (has to be done).
Had a great chat with them, and left with an inner warmth that she is being well looked after and with love.
Only concern is a nephew from her deceased husbands side. Has recently popped up on the scene. Intentions could be legit, but worth keeping an eye on. Apparently he did similar a few years back, a will was changed etc. But being an ex chief inspector he carries respect and trust.
So something to be aware of. Will be back up there soon, looking forwards to it.
31 October 2010, 07:53 PM
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Thanks mate, visit was great, lovely to see her and spend some quality time with her. Had a long day up there, arrived just after 9am but visiting was not till 2pm. So took some time getting to some places I miss.
After leaving her I went to see the couple, her neighbours, who are caring for her. Just to size them up, check intentions were genuine etc (has to be done).
Had a great chat with them, and left with an inner warmth that she is being well looked after and with love.
Only concern is a nephew from her deceased husbands side. Has recently popped up on the scene. Intentions could be legit, but worth keeping an eye on. Apparently he did similar a few years back, a will was changed etc. But being an ex chief inspector he carries respect and trust.
So something to be aware of. Will be back up there soon, looking forwards to it.
After leaving her I went to see the couple, her neighbours, who are caring for her. Just to size them up, check intentions were genuine etc (has to be done).
Had a great chat with them, and left with an inner warmth that she is being well looked after and with love.
Only concern is a nephew from her deceased husbands side. Has recently popped up on the scene. Intentions could be legit, but worth keeping an eye on. Apparently he did similar a few years back, a will was changed etc. But being an ex chief inspector he carries respect and trust.
So something to be aware of. Will be back up there soon, looking forwards to it.
good on you mate keep it up got my ma sat opposite me now as typing bowler hat on lol
31 October 2010, 09:06 PM
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07 December 2010, 11:31 AM
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Well its time for one of those long winded updates again.
So the last couple of weeks have been tough on mum and me I guess. I have not been coping too well with her recent decline in health, and have been signed off work.
She on the other hand has been getting weaker, and refusing to eat or drink as it makes her feel sick etc. Needless to say her condition has declined. Also her mental state has been questionable, with confusion and sudden distress creeping in.
The other night she could not get up anymore, and was becoming very aggressive and angry towards me. So I called my sister, who I must say was very supportive, and after a call to NHS Direct, they sent an ambulance.
Just after the ambulance was called she had also asked for someone to just call an ambulance, she would do whatever they said. Which is a strange thing for her to do, but pleasing.
She was admitted to the hospital, and while in A&E developed a very distressing twitch which had her in tears. She would not admit it hurt until after an hour or so she blurted out "please just stop the pain"
The last couple of days they have been running tests, and she went for a scan yesterday. We visited last night for a short time, as she seems less distressed when family are not about, so its actually easier on her.
HOWEVER....
I just got a call from the hospital, and the conversation opened with, "oh good morning, is this the next of kin for Ann Snasdell", which is never a great opening line.
He asked a few questions about mums cancer, nothing about the other issues she went in with. Asked about her recent op, and what I knew about it. Like what the intention of it was etc.
Then he asked if the specialists had mentioned or discussed the cancer spreading at any point, to which I answered no.
On this he said "ok, I think its probably best for us to have a chat face to face, can you make it to the hospital this afternoon?"
Make of it what you will, but that sort of comment usually provokes a reaction of concern to say the least. So I am currently trying to contact my sister to see if she can keep an eye on the dogs, so I can get to the hospital. Worst timing possible. She is about to give birth, my house is overrun with builders, no bathroom or kitchen at present..... Oh well.
Off to the hospital asap, but not doing anything drastic as there is nothing in the balance here.
So the last couple of weeks have been tough on mum and me I guess. I have not been coping too well with her recent decline in health, and have been signed off work.
She on the other hand has been getting weaker, and refusing to eat or drink as it makes her feel sick etc. Needless to say her condition has declined. Also her mental state has been questionable, with confusion and sudden distress creeping in.
The other night she could not get up anymore, and was becoming very aggressive and angry towards me. So I called my sister, who I must say was very supportive, and after a call to NHS Direct, they sent an ambulance.
Just after the ambulance was called she had also asked for someone to just call an ambulance, she would do whatever they said. Which is a strange thing for her to do, but pleasing.
She was admitted to the hospital, and while in A&E developed a very distressing twitch which had her in tears. She would not admit it hurt until after an hour or so she blurted out "please just stop the pain"
The last couple of days they have been running tests, and she went for a scan yesterday. We visited last night for a short time, as she seems less distressed when family are not about, so its actually easier on her.
HOWEVER....
I just got a call from the hospital, and the conversation opened with, "oh good morning, is this the next of kin for Ann Snasdell", which is never a great opening line.
He asked a few questions about mums cancer, nothing about the other issues she went in with. Asked about her recent op, and what I knew about it. Like what the intention of it was etc.
Then he asked if the specialists had mentioned or discussed the cancer spreading at any point, to which I answered no.
On this he said "ok, I think its probably best for us to have a chat face to face, can you make it to the hospital this afternoon?"
Make of it what you will, but that sort of comment usually provokes a reaction of concern to say the least. So I am currently trying to contact my sister to see if she can keep an eye on the dogs, so I can get to the hospital. Worst timing possible. She is about to give birth, my house is overrun with builders, no bathroom or kitchen at present..... Oh well.
Off to the hospital asap, but not doing anything drastic as there is nothing in the balance here.
07 December 2010, 12:23 PM
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Its the sort of post we have been dreading I reckon Snazy. I feel desperately sorry both for your mum and for you. She must be having an awful time with it and I hope the hospital can make her comfortable. I hope your sister will do her bit to ease the situation.
My best wishes to you both.
Les
My best wishes to you both.
Les
07 December 2010, 12:33 PM
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Its the sort of post we have been dreading I reckon Snazy. I feel desperately sorry both for your mum and for you. She must be having an awful time with it and I hope the hospital can make her comfortable. I hope your sister will do her bit to ease the situation.
My best wishes to you both.
Les
My best wishes to you both.
Les
07 December 2010, 12:36 PM
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Hard to tell right now, dont like to jump to conclusions, but its hard not to assume they are going to say the cancer has spread.
Next questions is where to. Her sister recently confirmed hers had spread to the bones, but has not been told anymore since, so not sure how far that has spread.
And also need to know if the other symptoms are part of the spread, or in any way related.
She has recently accepted home care from St Christophers Hospice, which is a massive step for her. They are putting her case in front of the panel tomorrow to see if they can assist. Obviously if things HAVE changed, I will need to let them know, so they make an informed decision.
Sister has been suprisingly good recently, but she is about to give birth, so her hormones are all over the place, she got like this last time, just before having the baby. But the help has been appreciated, and she deserves credit for it. Needed her over the other night to help with mum, and help deciding if to call the ambulance, because I was not handling mums anger too well.
Just spoken to work to keep them in the loop too, and trying to contact my aunts carer to give her the heads up too. Have already agreed that if mum goes first, I will let my aunts carer know, then head straight up there.
Will update when I know what the doctor has to say.
Sorry if my laid back attitude to this bothers anyone. But right now, im just being realistic, and trying to keep a cool head about things.
Next questions is where to. Her sister recently confirmed hers had spread to the bones, but has not been told anymore since, so not sure how far that has spread.
And also need to know if the other symptoms are part of the spread, or in any way related.
She has recently accepted home care from St Christophers Hospice, which is a massive step for her. They are putting her case in front of the panel tomorrow to see if they can assist. Obviously if things HAVE changed, I will need to let them know, so they make an informed decision.
Sister has been suprisingly good recently, but she is about to give birth, so her hormones are all over the place, she got like this last time, just before having the baby. But the help has been appreciated, and she deserves credit for it. Needed her over the other night to help with mum, and help deciding if to call the ambulance, because I was not handling mums anger too well.
Just spoken to work to keep them in the loop too, and trying to contact my aunts carer to give her the heads up too. Have already agreed that if mum goes first, I will let my aunts carer know, then head straight up there.
Will update when I know what the doctor has to say.
Sorry if my laid back attitude to this bothers anyone. But right now, im just being realistic, and trying to keep a cool head about things.
07 December 2010, 12:38 PM
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Thanks Nick. Hope all is well with you guys.
Just as an extra for me, triple whammy, I found out the other day that a friend of mines cancer has also returned. God I hate cancer!
Just as an extra for me, triple whammy, I found out the other day that a friend of mines cancer has also returned. God I hate cancer!
07 December 2010, 12:53 PM
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sympathies for you snaz,
since you started the thread, my dad has it now,
he hasnt been to the docs for 57 years, his last visti was coming out of national service.
only for us to finally persuade him to go, we think he has had lumps and bumps down below, for around a year, but with them weeping we all ganged up and got him registered and into the hospital.
they directed him over to christies, who have cut them off and tidied it up very well,
he go's in on thursday for a week to have his lmph glands out in his groin.
then after that there will be case meetings to see the best plan of attack.
this is skin cancer by the way.
i have driven past that place a thousand times but it never occurred to me that i would be visting my dad in there.
since you started the thread, my dad has it now,
he hasnt been to the docs for 57 years, his last visti was coming out of national service.
only for us to finally persuade him to go, we think he has had lumps and bumps down below, for around a year, but with them weeping we all ganged up and got him registered and into the hospital.
they directed him over to christies, who have cut them off and tidied it up very well,
he go's in on thursday for a week to have his lmph glands out in his groin.
then after that there will be case meetings to see the best plan of attack.
this is skin cancer by the way.
i have driven past that place a thousand times but it never occurred to me that i would be visting my dad in there.
07 December 2010, 01:54 PM
#587
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Hard to tell right now, dont like to jump to conclusions, but its hard not to assume they are going to say the cancer has spread.
Next questions is where to. Her sister recently confirmed hers had spread to the bones, but has not been told anymore since, so not sure how far that has spread.
And also need to know if the other symptoms are part of the spread, or in any way related.
She has recently accepted home care from St Christophers Hospice, which is a massive step for her. They are putting her case in front of the panel tomorrow to see if they can assist. Obviously if things HAVE changed, I will need to let them know, so they make an informed decision.
Sister has been suprisingly good recently, but she is about to give birth, so her hormones are all over the place, she got like this last time, just before having the baby. But the help has been appreciated, and she deserves credit for it. Needed her over the other night to help with mum, and help deciding if to call the ambulance, because I was not handling mums anger too well.
Just spoken to work to keep them in the loop too, and trying to contact my aunts carer to give her the heads up too. Have already agreed that if mum goes first, I will let my aunts carer know, then head straight up there.
Will update when I know what the doctor has to say.
Sorry if my laid back attitude to this bothers anyone. But right now, im just being realistic, and trying to keep a cool head about things.
Next questions is where to. Her sister recently confirmed hers had spread to the bones, but has not been told anymore since, so not sure how far that has spread.
And also need to know if the other symptoms are part of the spread, or in any way related.
She has recently accepted home care from St Christophers Hospice, which is a massive step for her. They are putting her case in front of the panel tomorrow to see if they can assist. Obviously if things HAVE changed, I will need to let them know, so they make an informed decision.
Sister has been suprisingly good recently, but she is about to give birth, so her hormones are all over the place, she got like this last time, just before having the baby. But the help has been appreciated, and she deserves credit for it. Needed her over the other night to help with mum, and help deciding if to call the ambulance, because I was not handling mums anger too well.
Just spoken to work to keep them in the loop too, and trying to contact my aunts carer to give her the heads up too. Have already agreed that if mum goes first, I will let my aunts carer know, then head straight up there.
Will update when I know what the doctor has to say.
Sorry if my laid back attitude to this bothers anyone. But right now, im just being realistic, and trying to keep a cool head about things.
07 December 2010, 02:44 PM
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sympathies for you snaz,
since you started the thread, my dad has it now,
he hasnt been to the docs for 57 years, his last visti was coming out of national service.
only for us to finally persuade him to go, we think he has had lumps and bumps down below, for around a year, but with them weeping we all ganged up and got him registered and into the hospital.
they directed him over to christies, who have cut them off and tidied it up very well,
he go's in on thursday for a week to have his lmph glands out in his groin.
then after that there will be case meetings to see the best plan of attack.
this is skin cancer by the way.
i have driven past that place a thousand times but it never occurred to me that i would be visting my dad in there.
since you started the thread, my dad has it now,
he hasnt been to the docs for 57 years, his last visti was coming out of national service.
only for us to finally persuade him to go, we think he has had lumps and bumps down below, for around a year, but with them weeping we all ganged up and got him registered and into the hospital.
they directed him over to christies, who have cut them off and tidied it up very well,
he go's in on thursday for a week to have his lmph glands out in his groin.
then after that there will be case meetings to see the best plan of attack.
this is skin cancer by the way.
i have driven past that place a thousand times but it never occurred to me that i would be visting my dad in there.
07 December 2010, 02:52 PM
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The appearing composed I think is probably a front to maintain calm in times of need. Deep inside its bubbling up.
Just to keep everyone in the loop, I have just spoken with the consultant who informed the reason for calling me to the hospital was to say the cancer has spread from mums breast, to her lung and brain. We could be talking weeks or a few months left now.
The road ahead is a challenge I guess, but worth it. Just got to help her be happy now.
07 December 2010, 03:41 PM
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It's going to be REALLY tough for you both but I know you'll do it plus you've got a lot of lovely friends on hand to offer support, shoulders, ears etc, don't be afraid to lean on them. Like I said on FB, give me a ring.
Hugs xxx
Hugs xxx
07 December 2010, 03:56 PM
#592
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So sorry to hear that.
Keep your chin up mate, you will get through it. You seem to be coping ok, but can imagine what it's like on the inside. My papa went through something similar when I was 15. I did see your status on BBM about it but didn't want to bother you.
Take care.
Keep your chin up mate, you will get through it. You seem to be coping ok, but can imagine what it's like on the inside. My papa went through something similar when I was 15. I did see your status on BBM about it but didn't want to bother you.
Take care.
07 December 2010, 04:28 PM
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Cheers Sally, you know I know where to find you. Just listen out for that unexpected knock on the door one day. 
Thanks to you too Alan, no such thing as bothering me mate, if I hear the phone and can answer I always will
Just been chatting to my sister, and telling her what the story is. I didnt text or call from the hospital as I preferred to do it face to face. She is a little shaken, and trying to keep herself composed. Im just trying to be matter of fact, and organise what we need to organise.
Have spoken to my aunts carer, and am trying to see if the missus can get the day off work tomorrow to dog sit, while I go up to Wales to see my aunt and tell her what is going on face to face. So another London - North Wales - London epic on the cards tomorrow.
So thats about me for now. Thanks to all for the kind words of support etc. Its a bumpy road ahead, but im confident we can get to the end of it.
Thanks to you too Alan, no such thing as bothering me mate, if I hear the phone and can answer I always will
Just been chatting to my sister, and telling her what the story is. I didnt text or call from the hospital as I preferred to do it face to face. She is a little shaken, and trying to keep herself composed. Im just trying to be matter of fact, and organise what we need to organise.
Have spoken to my aunts carer, and am trying to see if the missus can get the day off work tomorrow to dog sit, while I go up to Wales to see my aunt and tell her what is going on face to face. So another London - North Wales - London epic on the cards tomorrow.
So thats about me for now. Thanks to all for the kind words of support etc. Its a bumpy road ahead, but im confident we can get to the end of it.
07 December 2010, 05:51 PM
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Cheers Mart.
Only concern is recent lack of sleep, so might end up staying over up there. Was gonna see if any mates fancied the trip up there to co-pilot.
Only concern is recent lack of sleep, so might end up staying over up there. Was gonna see if any mates fancied the trip up there to co-pilot.
08 December 2010, 03:44 PM
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Your attitude is the only way to cope with it all Snazy. You have to think that way to keep it all on an even keel.
Thank goodness your sister is helping as well as she is. Wish we lived closer so that we could help too, Mrs Leslie is very good with that.
Can only wish all the best to you and your mum, hope she is acceoted by the hospice. She will be very well looked after there.
Les
Thank goodness your sister is helping as well as she is. Wish we lived closer so that we could help too, Mrs Leslie is very good with that.
Can only wish all the best to you and your mum, hope she is acceoted by the hospice. She will be very well looked after there.
Les
08 December 2010, 04:00 PM
#597
Snazy, I am so sorry to hear this. This is the news I am sure we were all dreading too.
I honestly don't know what to say other than my thoughts are with all of you. I know it easy for me to say, but you have to look after yourself too.
I, like others are here for you whenever you want to talk, rant, whatever you need to do.
I honestly don't know what to say other than my thoughts are with all of you. I know it easy for me to say, but you have to look after yourself too.
I, like others are here for you whenever you want to talk, rant, whatever you need to do.
08 December 2010, 08:40 PM
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keep strong mate our thoughts arewith you and the family my mums back in christies friday blood transfusons as the chemo effecting her blood not the cancer to top it off tonight my dads car broke down on the hard shoulder on the m60 and they were out off the car just come frm christies daughter had the thought to ring me up as i was finishing work near there pulled on the hard shoulder my mum was sat in a field blue crying waiting for recovery hence threw my mum in my car gave my dad my woolen hat thermal gloves thick coat and drove her home still blue when i got her home heater on full its a s hite life aint it
08 December 2010, 09:16 PM
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my dad will be there on friday nick so i might see you in the carpark,
just out of interest whereabouts do you travel from to get to christies? its about 10 ins for me, but in my dads ward last time there was people there from wales and liverpool,
just out of interest whereabouts do you travel from to get to christies? its about 10 ins for me, but in my dads ward last time there was people there from wales and liverpool,
08 December 2010, 09:27 PM
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Am so, so sorry, Snazy. Cancer is a hideous thing. I am going to my friends Husbands funeral tomorrow. He lost his 6 year battle with the illness on Wednesday. He was only 51 and has left two daughters aged 12 and 6.
My thoughts are with you and your Mum and you know we are all here for you anytime you need us all x
My thoughts are with you and your Mum and you know we are all here for you anytime you need us all x