Quiet today
WEIRD
Former Sponsor
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,546
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From: JB is @ Scoobyclinic.
"Three blokes go into a pub. Well, I say three; could have been four or five. Could have been nine or ten, doesn't matter. Could have been fifteen, twenty - fifty. Round it up. Hundred. Let's go mad, eh - two-fifty. Tell you what, double it up - five hundred. Thousand! Oh, I've gone mad! Two thousand! Five thousand! (adopting auctioneer persona) anyone five thousand, six thou, six thousand, ten thousand! Small town in Hertfordshire goes into a pub! Fifteen thousand blokes! Alright, let's go - population of Rotterdam. The Hague. Whole of Northern Holland. Mainland U.K. Let's go all the way to the top - Europe, alright? Whole of Europe goes - I say Europe. Could be Eurasia. Not the band, obviously, that's just two of them. Alright, continents - North America! Plus South America! Plus Antartica - that's just eight blokes in a weather station. Not a good example. Alright, make it a lot simpler, all the blokes on the planet go into the pub, right? And the first bloke goes up to the bar and he says "I'll get these in." What an idiot."
Former Sponsor
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,546
Likes: 0
From: JB is @ Scoobyclinic.
A MODERN CLASSIC LOVE SONG
I was alone my heart was cold it was a stone,
my soul was lonely like a stone - there was no moss.
And when I danced I danced alone but then I did not dance
because I *was* alone. So I did not dance.
I shuffled through life invisible to all the happy couples who would mock
me with their merry laughter – “ha-ha-ha”.
The only sound I heard in my lonely silent world was the rusty hammer of my
heart nailing at the hatred in my soul.
But then you came,
and my life was turned upside down.
You showed me the beauty of the things that I had never seen.
Like a snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer.
Or the painting of a dog that wears a deerstalker and
smokes a pipe that made you laugh so heartily,
but I had previously thought was rubbish.
Or the duck that lands so clumsily on a frozen pond in winter
but the intoxicating power of our love transforms this simple act into an
anthropomorphic drama where Mr. Duck’s embarrassed and the other ducks are
laughing (quack quack quack quack quack).
AND THEN YOU LEFT!
And I have died a thousand deaths and I will die a thousand more!
I thought you were an angel - you turned out to be a *****!
And everything has turned to dust! Everything is infected with the plague!
When you had to sleep with Craig.
"Oh he's so sensitive, he's got a tattoo."
Yeah, carving your name with a compass in my forehead was not enough for you!
The snow flake on the eye of the deer has turned to
puss that oozes from an open wound.
The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine.
The duck lies shredded in a pancake,
soaking in the hoisin of your lies.
The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day,
and coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal.
Of your betrayal...
my soul was lonely like a stone - there was no moss.
And when I danced I danced alone but then I did not dance
because I *was* alone. So I did not dance.
I shuffled through life invisible to all the happy couples who would mock
me with their merry laughter – “ha-ha-ha”.
The only sound I heard in my lonely silent world was the rusty hammer of my
heart nailing at the hatred in my soul.
But then you came,
and my life was turned upside down.
You showed me the beauty of the things that I had never seen.
Like a snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer.
Or the painting of a dog that wears a deerstalker and
smokes a pipe that made you laugh so heartily,
but I had previously thought was rubbish.
Or the duck that lands so clumsily on a frozen pond in winter
but the intoxicating power of our love transforms this simple act into an
anthropomorphic drama where Mr. Duck’s embarrassed and the other ducks are
laughing (quack quack quack quack quack).
AND THEN YOU LEFT!
And I have died a thousand deaths and I will die a thousand more!
I thought you were an angel - you turned out to be a *****!
And everything has turned to dust! Everything is infected with the plague!
When you had to sleep with Craig.
"Oh he's so sensitive, he's got a tattoo."
Yeah, carving your name with a compass in my forehead was not enough for you!
The snow flake on the eye of the deer has turned to
puss that oozes from an open wound.
The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine.
The duck lies shredded in a pancake,
soaking in the hoisin of your lies.
The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day,
and coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal.
Of your betrayal...