Hi Sara - Really sorry to hear about your loss, I lost my mother to stomache / bowel cancer when I was 31 (a few years back) It took me best part of 6 months before I could even think straight - I just launched myself into work. It takes time but I can promise you that the pain will be replaced by warm happy memories.

 

Well been to see the Oncologist today, good news for me, the results are looking good so it seems as if the radiology has done the trick so far. Back for more tests in 3 months.......

 

congratulation hope everything works out for you chin up yeah

 

Went down to see Mum yesterday - she aint looking great

Staring into fresh air and not with it most of the time then next moment joining in with the conversation.

She is considering radiotherapy but I get the feeling that she is very tired and deflated with it all and about ready to call it a day.

Suffice to say yesterday was not the best of days

 

sorry to hear about your mum not being so well, i hope she pulls through this hard time send her my love
thinking of you all
Steph x

 

That is good news,R32

 

Your mum will be emotionally and physically drained - as must you be. My thoughts are with you - hugs for you & your mum

 

Her reaction is not surprising of course Dynamix. I hope she will decide to accept the treatment, it is important to never lose all hope of course. Maybe with persistence you can get her to think as positively as possible.

My best wishes to you both.

Les

 

Thanks Les - Sunday was a huge low for us all but now bouncing back to normal mental attitudes of having a laugh together. She will fight this and we will be fighting the battle with her bringing a smile to her face where we can

 

i assume she has been put on steroids for the brain. when my mum was given the chance to have the radiotherapy on her brain she was told that the tumours were very deep and that it probably wouldnt be that effective. i wish she hadnt had it now because looking back it wore her out so much it took away her quality. we were also warned that the tumours could become more aggressive after the radiotherapy. i think this is what happened to her. she became very worn out and as soon as the effects of treatment were gone the tumours were back. as the treatment wipes out the immune system it leaves you very vunerable to infections as well
i am sorry for sounding so negative. hindsight is a great thing if you have it.

make sure you ask the oncologist to be brutally honest with you, ask him what he would do if it is his mum. as before good luck and best wishes to your family

 

thanks sara - really useful information and advice as usual

she is seeing the oncologist tomorrow but I cant be down there - 300 mile round trip for me to be with her... so will have to get info 2nd hand.

 

this may be one of the most important decisions she will have to make, you really need to be there, is there no way you can?

you know how quick my mum went down hill. please make sure that whatever your mum decides to do that she has no regrets. let us know how it goes tomorrow wont you, fingers crossed

 

she will be there with her other half - i physically cant make the trip down

will be down there on saturday but treating every visit as if it is the last time and valuing every second.

 

i really hope that radiotherapy can help a bit. everyones cancer is different as you know. all you can do now is be well informed, and get someone to write down all the questions that need asking, good luck

 

any news dynamix?
i hope it went as well as can be expected today

ive been thinking about your mum all day as she is going through exactly the same as my mum did a couple of months ago. i hope you got better news than was expected....

 

she didnt go in the end .... arghhh - she was not able to carry her own weight on her legs and so could not be helped out to the car .... apparently (strange that her other half did not have the foresight to think how that would work)

next time i will be there - make sure that she makes it.

 

ahhh sorry, thats a shame

is she going to have the radiotherapy or was the appointment to decide that?
you need to take the bull by the horns make things happen. i know you live a long way from your mum, such a shame. i hope you can sort this out quickly

 

Me too Duncan.

 

thanks

this was to see the oncologist to discuss radiotherapy and decide what treatment is needed/best.

 

i hope your mum pulls through this tough time its not easy at this time of year when people are ill or they've just lost loved ones i know i lost my grandad 3 years on monday and i lost my uncle 3 weeks later to bowel cancer it really puts your life in to perspective after something like it. thinking of you all
Steph x

 

It is really difficult for you as well having to be that distance from her Dynamix. I wish you and her all the best and that she gets good results from the treatment, I hope she will give it a try if they advise it.

Hope the weekend goes well for you both.

Les

 

a while ago in the october ma couple of weeks before we were due to fly to the states,I noticed that my wife got ever so out of breath walking back to the car,I said to her go to the docs as she thought she had a cold and that she would not be able to flyas her breathing was getting steadily worse as weekend wore on,
on the monday she went to the docs,and was sent up to the hospital,
they kept her in,
on the next day the doc said the words that you fear the most,
I AM SORRY MRS ******* YOU HAVE A CARCANOMA OF THE LEFT BRONCHUS, our world just fell apart,tears crying emotions we never new we could express,after a while he said you will go to guys in london for a op,
10 days later we were there,my wife had her left lung removed in a 7 hour op
when we saw the surgeon the next morning his first words to my wife were
I do like a challenge and you certainly gave me that,jane was in guys for 10 days,then home to the south coast,9 months of treatment-chemo,radio
it was starting to look ok
then the day came
the consultant said it looks as if we are winning,
the last time we felt as happy was on our wedding day,
I could continue but wont as I still get very emotional about this,
suffice to say as jane says with a good dollop of faith and hope it all works out,
my wife exlained how she felt during this episode in our lifes
if she had a large gash or broken some thing then that is one thing,but as she could not see or feel this thing growing there was nothing she could do
it is the loved ones it seems to affect more


in finishing I hope it all works out for you,and as jane says have faith


cheers
stef

 

your wife was incredably lucky, you must have been through hell

my mum was struggling to breath for about 2 years i think, she told us it was emphasema(sp), she diagnosed herself wrongly, and 6 months later i lost her

its good to hear when someone beats this horrible disease

 

I totally agree

Heading back down south again tomorrow but just heard that mum's doc has said that unless she is well enough to get to the hospital under her own steam then she cant have treatment.

She lives on the side of a hill and have a 1 in 3 slope 15 feet up to the road and is too weak to walk up there and it is virtually impossible to get a wheelchair up it.

Did/does everyone else have a direct contact with hospital doctors to get information etc ?

We have nothing and get patchy information at best through my mum and her other half, who seems incapable of lateral thinking, or answering or indeed asking questions !!

 

when my mum was going to have the radiotherapy on her brain they said if she was unwell or too weak they wouldnt do it as she needed to be as healthy as possible. She was able to arrange for someone to pick her up from home but she had to book it in advance, ask the hospital if they have this system running. it will make life a lot easier all round.
when they were going to treat my mum she had to have something made for her head so that the radiotherapy could be targeted to the areas where the tumors were. they were very keen to get her in as the tumours were very aggressive , they felt that she couldnt afford to waste any time.
get straight on it duncan as she cannot afford to waste any more time, good luck

 

To give an example - they has had a doctor come to see her tonight from the Hospice that told her this... neither of them can remember the doctor's name.

 

i would complain if i was you, that is unforgivable



i think its time you took over from that numnut partner of hers

 

but complain to who ??

we have no contacts

 

you can make a complaint through the hospital. just ask the switchboard to put you through, they have a proper complaints procedure, you will have to put it in writing though. you will have a choice of taking things further or you can just let of steam. dont just wait for things to sort themselves out, because they wont. try and do it away from your mum as as its very draining for her to have all the upset and disruption.
i gather she is steadily becoming more unwell and more muddled, if this is the case i really think you need to take over her care more now. everything fell on me as my dad was unable to do anything. it took its toll on me, and i am still getting my head together even now, its 3 months since i lost her. i cant help you with any contacts as your mum is in Cornwall i think. you might find something on the net, she will be under a different health authority to us, just keep looking, if i can help in any way i will.

you may find you will have to wait till monday now

 

thanks again sara - you are a rock