I think i may have a slight problem :(
12 November 2004, 10:51 AM
#32
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Its called piles.
Get some suppositories. Job done.
"I knew of a bloke" who had them, lasted about 2 and a half weeks. (the pile that is, not the bloke).
Get some suppositories. Job done.
"I knew of a bloke" who had them, lasted about 2 and a half weeks. (the pile that is, not the bloke).
Last edited by Senior_AP; 12 November 2004 at 10:56 AM.
12 November 2004, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by boxst
That's not the normal method. They usually place a tight elastic band around it, removing the blood supply and it eventually dies and drops off. In a very similiar way to the way they dock dogs tails.
12 November 2004, 11:37 AM
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12 November 2004, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Senior_AP
12 November 2004, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Spoon
Isn't it just your red interactive button that they keep harping on about on telly?
Press it and see what choices you get.
Press it and see what choices you get.
Press red, and go interactive. All together now
"FfffffffffUUuUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK that hurts!!!!!!"
Christ, I hope "player-cam" isn't an option!!
12 November 2004, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Senior_AP
Capacious nadgers - have you noticed that the Germoloids make you ppo go white??
12 November 2004, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Spoon
I know somebody who said it also stained their teeth. They never read the instructions properly.
12 November 2004, 12:02 PM
#51
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Originally Posted by Tom200
Haemorrhoids are very rarely painful unless they are thrombosed - this is when a clot forms within them, and they turn purple and nasty.
Elastic band ligation is one treatment used to remove non-thrombosed haemorrhoids that are causing a problem by bleeding and popping out now and again.
If your haemorrhoid is permanantly out, a virulent shade of purple, and painful, then it sounds like it is thrombosed. They usually regress with a couple of weeks, at which point you should consider seeing a surgeon to get it removed, before it happens again. If it doesn't settle on its own, and is too painful to bear, then go to A&E. They should have you admitted under the General Surgeons, who will treat you symptomatically with ice packs and analgesia, and then excise it for you, once it has settled a bit.
HTH
Elastic band ligation is one treatment used to remove non-thrombosed haemorrhoids that are causing a problem by bleeding and popping out now and again.
If your haemorrhoid is permanantly out, a virulent shade of purple, and painful, then it sounds like it is thrombosed. They usually regress with a couple of weeks, at which point you should consider seeing a surgeon to get it removed, before it happens again. If it doesn't settle on its own, and is too painful to bear, then go to A&E. They should have you admitted under the General Surgeons, who will treat you symptomatically with ice packs and analgesia, and then excise it for you, once it has settled a bit.
HTH
12 November 2004, 12:25 PM
#52
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Here's the low-down
Haemorrhoids (Piles)
Haemorrhoids (often known as Piles) are enlarged and engorged blood vessels in or around the back passage (anus). These may be associated with pain, bleeding, itching and feeling as if a lump or bump is hanging down.
Symptoms
You may notice a pain or ache around the anus and lower bowel (rectum), which can be really quite severe.
There may be itching of the area.
There may be bleeding from the back passage. This will be bright red blood, not usually mixed in with the motion, but often seen on the toilet paper.
There is often a feeling of something coming down, or a bulge or lump at the anus.
If a haemorrhoid at the outside of the anus gets a blood clot in it (thrombosed external pile) it leads to a particularly tender, hardish lump.
Causes
Haemorrhoids are very common. They are said to be more common in countries where the diet has traditionally been more processed and low in fibre. The main contributory causes are those things that cause us to raise the pressure in the abdomen. This causes the blood vessels to swell and become engorged.
It seems that the people most at risk of developing haemorrhoids are those who have more causes for raised abdominal pressure, such as:
Those chronically straining with constipation.
After or during pregnancy. Here, the baby may actually press on the main blood vessel that returns blood to the heart (the vena cava).
Overweight people.
People with heavy lifting jobs.
Diagnosis
Most episodes of trouble from haemorrhoids come and go quite quickly. If simple measures do not help or the problem is lasting, keeps returning or worsening, then you should see your doctor, especially if you have any other associated symptoms eg weight loss; change of bowel habit; slime (mucus) in the motions; darker, changed blood mixed in with the stools.
Your doctor will ask a few questions and is likely to examine you and may want to feel inside the anus with a gloved finger. Sometimes he will look inside with a metal instrument. This enables him or her to confirm the diagnosis, and to rule out other, more serious problems such as cancer.
Treatment
It is usually best, with haemorrhoids, to get by with the least treatment possible, as even after the most extensive treatments they may still return.
Many times they will settle down over a matter of days without any treatment.
Cream or suppositories (bullet-shaped tablets to be inserted into the anus) may be bought over the counter, or your doctor may prescribe one. These soothe itching and pain, and cause swelling and bleeding to diminish.
Cold compresses, even ice can be helpful.
If you do not get better with these approaches, your doctor may ask a specialist to see you who may:
Put little rubber bands round the haemorrhoids, which will cause them to shrivel and wither away.
Inject a substance into the haemorrhoids which causes them to wither away (sclerotherapy).
Cut away the problem, usually under a general anaesthetic.
Prevention
Haemorrhoids are very common, and will occur anyway, but, as implied above, useful aspects of prevention are:
Avoid becoming overweight, and lose weight if you are.
Eat a high fibre diet.
Exercise regularly.
Haemorrhoids (Piles)
Haemorrhoids (often known as Piles) are enlarged and engorged blood vessels in or around the back passage (anus). These may be associated with pain, bleeding, itching and feeling as if a lump or bump is hanging down.
Symptoms
You may notice a pain or ache around the anus and lower bowel (rectum), which can be really quite severe.
There may be itching of the area.
There may be bleeding from the back passage. This will be bright red blood, not usually mixed in with the motion, but often seen on the toilet paper.
There is often a feeling of something coming down, or a bulge or lump at the anus.
If a haemorrhoid at the outside of the anus gets a blood clot in it (thrombosed external pile) it leads to a particularly tender, hardish lump.
Causes
Haemorrhoids are very common. They are said to be more common in countries where the diet has traditionally been more processed and low in fibre. The main contributory causes are those things that cause us to raise the pressure in the abdomen. This causes the blood vessels to swell and become engorged.
It seems that the people most at risk of developing haemorrhoids are those who have more causes for raised abdominal pressure, such as:
Those chronically straining with constipation.
After or during pregnancy. Here, the baby may actually press on the main blood vessel that returns blood to the heart (the vena cava).
Overweight people.
People with heavy lifting jobs.
Diagnosis
Most episodes of trouble from haemorrhoids come and go quite quickly. If simple measures do not help or the problem is lasting, keeps returning or worsening, then you should see your doctor, especially if you have any other associated symptoms eg weight loss; change of bowel habit; slime (mucus) in the motions; darker, changed blood mixed in with the stools.
Your doctor will ask a few questions and is likely to examine you and may want to feel inside the anus with a gloved finger. Sometimes he will look inside with a metal instrument. This enables him or her to confirm the diagnosis, and to rule out other, more serious problems such as cancer.
Treatment
It is usually best, with haemorrhoids, to get by with the least treatment possible, as even after the most extensive treatments they may still return.
Many times they will settle down over a matter of days without any treatment.
Cream or suppositories (bullet-shaped tablets to be inserted into the anus) may be bought over the counter, or your doctor may prescribe one. These soothe itching and pain, and cause swelling and bleeding to diminish.
Cold compresses, even ice can be helpful.
If you do not get better with these approaches, your doctor may ask a specialist to see you who may:
Put little rubber bands round the haemorrhoids, which will cause them to shrivel and wither away.
Inject a substance into the haemorrhoids which causes them to wither away (sclerotherapy).
Cut away the problem, usually under a general anaesthetic.
Prevention
Haemorrhoids are very common, and will occur anyway, but, as implied above, useful aspects of prevention are:
Avoid becoming overweight, and lose weight if you are.
Eat a high fibre diet.
Exercise regularly.
12 November 2004, 01:18 PM
#54
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Originally Posted by paul-s
how old r u out of interest ??? is this something that affects anybody or more middle aged citizens ?
quality thread
quality thread
Got one cos I ate loads of sweets and pushed too hard when constipated.
12 November 2004, 01:26 PM
#55
Originally Posted by Buzzer
He said he came in and raised the scalpel (like the pic above) and shouted "ON GAURD". Needless to say he nearly passed out until the nurse told him it was surgeon humour lol
Thats just sent me over the edge, I am sat at work in tears because I am laughing so hard.
12 November 2004, 01:33 PM
#56
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My first was at 20 trying to squeeze one out in a motorqway services so my day at Alton Towers wasn't interrupted. Spent most of the day wondering why my rear end was itchy. Having a shower in the hotel that evening was greeted with "What the ****............" Thought it was a clingon to begin with and tried to rip it off 
12 November 2004, 01:44 PM
#58
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who's going to open a book on "Capacious Nadgers" doing a disappearing act and coming back in 2 years time, as per the Stampede thread, telling us he has been banged up for violent crimes against the chocolate starfish?
12 November 2004, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Scooby-Doo
My first was at 20 trying to squeeze one out in a motorqway services so my day at Alton Towers wasn't interrupted. Spent most of the day wondering why my rear end was itchy. Having a shower in the hotel that evening was greeted with "What the ****............" Thought it was a clingon to begin with and tried to rip it off
12 November 2004, 02:50 PM
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Hope you get this sorted out, sounds painful.
Have to admit that you are a literary master, your inital post is fantastic and had me in stitches.
Have to admit that you are a literary master, your inital post is fantastic and had me in stitches.