anyone there
05 July 2003, 01:17 AM
#31
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 145
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
a young guy gets ajob at a morgue.....
on his first day his boss tell him to look under a sheet which is covering a young girl's body on a slab and see if he can tell how she died.
after 20 minutes the boss check up on him to see how he's getting on. "I reckon she was a victim of a sex attack" says the young guy....
"A sex attack - what are you talking about" says the boss "she died in a car crash, show me what you mean"
the young guy says "well look, someone's shoved a prawn up her minge"
the boss checks it out and says "that's not a prawn it's her ****"
the young guy: "that's funny - it tastes like a prawn"
on his first day his boss tell him to look under a sheet which is covering a young girl's body on a slab and see if he can tell how she died.
after 20 minutes the boss check up on him to see how he's getting on. "I reckon she was a victim of a sex attack" says the young guy....
"A sex attack - what are you talking about" says the boss "she died in a car crash, show me what you mean"
the young guy says "well look, someone's shoved a prawn up her minge"
the boss checks it out and says "that's not a prawn it's her ****"
the young guy: "that's funny - it tastes like a prawn"
05 July 2003, 01:18 AM
#32
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Basingstoke/Reading
Posts: 173
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in
my
family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my
older
brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
my
family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my
older
brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
05 July 2003, 01:25 AM
#38
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Basingstoke/Reading
Posts: 173
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with
Paddy the Pilot, and Seamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin
airport, they looked out the front window.
"B'jeesus," said Paddy, "will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is."
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Seamus.
"Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see," said
Paddy.
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Seamus.
"Right Seamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse,"said
Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Seamus.
"And den ye put de flaps down straight away," said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Seamus.
"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can," said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Seamus.
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul," said Paddy.
"I'll be doing dat already," replied Seamus.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Seamus full of nerves and
sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Seamus put the engines
in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother
Mary with all of his soul.
Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tires and lots of smoke, the plane
screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the
relief of Paddy and Seamus and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the
front window and said to Seamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin
runway I have EVER seen in me whole life."
Seamus looked out the side window and replied, "Yeah Paddy, but look how
fookin wide it is."
Paddy the Pilot, and Seamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin
airport, they looked out the front window.
"B'jeesus," said Paddy, "will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is."
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Seamus.
"Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see," said
Paddy.
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Seamus.
"Right Seamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse,"said
Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Seamus.
"And den ye put de flaps down straight away," said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Seamus.
"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can," said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Seamus.
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul," said Paddy.
"I'll be doing dat already," replied Seamus.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Seamus full of nerves and
sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Seamus put the engines
in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother
Mary with all of his soul.
Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tires and lots of smoke, the plane
screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the
relief of Paddy and Seamus and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the
front window and said to Seamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin
runway I have EVER seen in me whole life."
Seamus looked out the side window and replied, "Yeah Paddy, but look how
fookin wide it is."
05 July 2003, 01:52 AM
#51
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 30
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Hi m8ty, soon as my flight goes, then im off, down the M1 in Scooby, then jump in bed, wake the wife up and ask...... yer right, tip toe really slide between the sheets and nod off till bout 8 when the kids wake me up ready for another fun filled weekend, gotta stay in from 12 till 6 to wait for some guys to come and pick a shed up...
