Blind date - ettiquette question
18 September 2002, 08:01 PM
#61
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OK so I'm a bit late into this thread but still...
I'd never let a man pay for everything on a first date, whether it was a blind date or otherwise. That's partly not wanting to take the pi$$ and partly not wanting to give him grounds to expect anything of me. I'd probably not let him pay for everything for the first few dates, unless he really was insistent and I felt comfortable with him.
If it's any consolation, men can be just as confusing. I had a blind date about a month or so ago - just a drink in a local pub. It went well and we arranged a second date. However, I managed to scare him off before we got to the second date and he sent me an SMS saying he couldn't make it, (with the implication he didn't want to reschedule). I replied saying fair enough and left it at that. Then a few days ago I got another SMS from him saying would it be OK if we met up again? Apparently he'd thought about it and realised he didn't give it a chance. [Cynic mode on] That or he just got desperate enough [/Cynic mode off].
I'd never let a man pay for everything on a first date, whether it was a blind date or otherwise. That's partly not wanting to take the pi$$ and partly not wanting to give him grounds to expect anything of me. I'd probably not let him pay for everything for the first few dates, unless he really was insistent and I felt comfortable with him.
If it's any consolation, men can be just as confusing. I had a blind date about a month or so ago - just a drink in a local pub. It went well and we arranged a second date. However, I managed to scare him off before we got to the second date and he sent me an SMS saying he couldn't make it, (with the implication he didn't want to reschedule). I replied saying fair enough and left it at that. Then a few days ago I got another SMS from him saying would it be OK if we met up again? Apparently he'd thought about it and realised he didn't give it a chance. [Cynic mode on] That or he just got desperate enough [/Cynic mode off].
18 September 2002, 09:09 PM
#62
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Sent her a couple of txt msgs yesterday and no reply. Hmmmm, what's going on I wonder?
Anyway, text msg just arrived and we're currently in discussions about were to go. Appears she ran out of credit - fair does, we've all done it.
Just waiting for reply msg
Anyway, text msg just arrived and we're currently in discussions about were to go. Appears she ran out of credit - fair does, we've all done it.
Just waiting for reply msg
......or maybe i'm just old-fashioned
18 September 2002, 09:24 PM
#63
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Yeah, there is merit to this point. Probably seems like I'm dithering but the txt msg seems to be the apt way of sorting all this out.
She's just replied and it's 50/50 whether she's gonna be available this weekend. It's her final week at work so socialising with work people is the other option for her.
And before someone says 'Why not go with her?', I'm not going out with her yet and some 'quality' time spent together is really whats need to figure out what's going on. Will know soon whether anything's gonna happen.
Still can't believe this thread is still running (neither can we, say the masses! haha)
She's just replied and it's 50/50 whether she's gonna be available this weekend. It's her final week at work so socialising with work people is the other option for her.
And before someone says 'Why not go with her?', I'm not going out with her yet and some 'quality' time spent together is really whats need to figure out what's going on. Will know soon whether anything's gonna happen.
Still can't believe this thread is still running (neither can we, say the masses! haha)
18 September 2002, 09:32 PM
#64
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Be careful - sounds like you are getting attached to something that will never happen. Especially if she is going back overseas.
Could be worth being just good friends, but then you may end up kicking yourself for not giving it a go before its too late
Sorry, not much help am I
Could be worth being just good friends, but then you may end up kicking yourself for not giving it a go before its too late
Sorry, not much help am I
18 September 2002, 09:42 PM
#65
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Yeah, here what your saying - kinda came out wrong!
Just playing it by ear, not hoping for much but always mindful of the possibility of something progressing. There's no guarantee that she won't be allowed back and if she is, and we get on, then who knows. My colleague has known her most of her life and the way she's acting is promising.
With other threads that are happening at moment, there's a fair amount of people looking for someone (obvious, I know!). When you've been single for a long time, the possibility of meeting someone who you get a hint could actually care about you is a very strong one - and rational thought is not always easy to keep in mind. People, who've had bad experiences, often shy away from the thought of happiness - it's worthwhile looking at things from a positive perspective (as long as you don't get carried away).
Just playing it by ear, not hoping for much but always mindful of the possibility of something progressing. There's no guarantee that she won't be allowed back and if she is, and we get on, then who knows. My colleague has known her most of her life and the way she's acting is promising.
With other threads that are happening at moment, there's a fair amount of people looking for someone (obvious, I know!). When you've been single for a long time, the possibility of meeting someone who you get a hint could actually care about you is a very strong one - and rational thought is not always easy to keep in mind. People, who've had bad experiences, often shy away from the thought of happiness - it's worthwhile looking at things from a positive perspective (as long as you don't get carried away).
19 September 2002, 11:03 AM
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Every South African man I've met has always said avoid South African women. I'm no doubt going to upset a few people saying this but apparently they are <quote on> needy, selfish, bank raiders </quote off>.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Good luck and keep us posted.
19 September 2002, 11:07 AM
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Why did she tell you about her 'pertner' thirty minutes before the end of the date? Had you just asked her for a ****?
Re the drinks thing - maybe she was expecting you to 'pay' for everything else too...
Mak.
Re the drinks thing - maybe she was expecting you to 'pay' for everything else too...
Mak.
19 September 2002, 07:50 PM
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Every South African man I've met has always said avoid South African women. I'm no doubt going to upset a few people saying this but apparently they are <quote on> needy, selfish, bank raiders </quote off>.
I'm saying nothing.................hehe
19 September 2002, 07:54 PM
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Why did she tell you about her 'pertner' thirty minutes before the end of the date? Had you just asked her for a ****?
Actually, I think she wanted to come clean and probably figured that Beth (my colleague) had told me anyway.
Re the drinks thing - maybe she was expecting you to 'pay' for everything else too...
[Edited by drumsterphil - 9/19/2002 7:56:33 PM]
28 September 2002, 02:58 PM
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Lets just say that I've given up!!
Was meant to be going out tonight but alas she can't be arsed to confirm details, so I think I can safely take the hint that it's a no-go.
Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea!.............
Was meant to be going out tonight but alas she can't be arsed to confirm details, so I think I can safely take the hint that it's a no-go.
Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea!
.............
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