Notices
The Muppet Room This room contains all the topics that are not really fit for our other categories. Normal forum rules still apply, but we allow you to stretch them just a little...

Religion...... I just don't get it!

Old 03 December 2004, 04:23 PM
  #1  
Gridlock Mikey
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
 
Gridlock Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.facebook.com
Posts: 15,233
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Talking Religion...... I just don't get it!

OK each to their own and all that but at the risk of being shouted at and recieving death threats can someone explain something to me, and please don't think i'm having a go at god botherers ok

How come, in my experience, all religious folk fall into these catagories:

Enjoy drab things
Deprive themselves when there's no need to
Seem oblivious to taunts
Insist on telling you about jesus and god when you've told them politely that you couldn't give a damn
Hardly drink
Even at christmas. Thought this was the big un for 'em
They are the only people who know the words to carols well the verses anyway
Accept that the historical timeline means that jesus was never alive, yet they still live their lives as if though he did!
The bible is full of inaccuracies yet they believe it to be true

I'm only talking about people that i've met (Some of whom are friends) not the all together more fekked up world of arab religion. I wouldn't even dream of venturing into that self destructive pot of rubbish! (IMHO)
Gridlock Mikey is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:28 PM
  #2  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

I have never got it, thank god!
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:29 PM
  #3  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Your not supposed to get it

most people can see right thru Bullsh1t which is what religon is
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:31 PM
  #4  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by IPKIS
Your not supposed to get it

most people can see right thru Bullsh1t which is what religon is
I got chucked out of 2nd yr R.E, because I told the teacher he was talkin boll*cks when he said he believed the '6 day creation' bit of the Bible, what a tw*t
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:33 PM
  #5  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by RichWalk
I got chucked out of 2nd yr R.E, because I told the teacher he was talkin boll*cks when he said he believed the '6 day creation' bit of the Bible, what a tw*t
<<shakes Richwalk by the hand>>


i got thrown outta that class too

religon is only meant for one thing starting wars and terrorism
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:35 PM
  #6  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by IPKIS
<<shakes Richwalk by the hand>>


i got thrown outta that class too

religon is only meant for one thing starting wars and terrorism
Cheers you forgot, lining the pockets of the Church mate.
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:35 PM
  #7  
Gridlock Mikey
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
 
Gridlock Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.facebook.com
Posts: 15,233
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

*Pulls up a lazy boy recliner, kicks back and settles with Uncle Jack and some friends for a conversation that has no ending................. ever *
Gridlock Mikey is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:36 PM
  #8  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

My R E teacher was a woman who was single and she didn't like my comment
" so you've not been fu*ked yet then miss"




all the rest of the class laughed
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:36 PM
  #9  
Gridlock Mikey
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
 
Gridlock Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.facebook.com
Posts: 15,233
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

You KNOW there was a 13th Apostle


Last edited by Gridlock Mikey; 03 December 2004 at 04:39 PM.
Gridlock Mikey is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:37 PM
  #10  
muppet paster
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Isle of Everywhere
Posts: 17,634
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Religion is nowt more that an outdated form of mind control for the masses.
muppet paster is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:38 PM
  #11  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Still cant beat my bro, engaging the Jehovas witness peeps in a story about Noah going to Jewsons for the wood for his ark........I was rolling about in the hallway as he argued his point!!
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:38 PM
  #12  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by Gridlock Mikey
*Pulls up a lazy boy recliner, kicks back and settles with Uncle Jack and some friends for a conversation that has no ending................. ever *
and where have you been hiding for the last few months guitar man?
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:40 PM
  #13  
muppet paster
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Isle of Everywhere
Posts: 17,634
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

I got throw out of a couple of RE lessons too!



Religion is an ace subject to bring up if you're bored and feel like winding someone up. And there's always a god botherer within ear shot.
muppet paster is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:40 PM
  #14  
Krade
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The home of the game played with odd shapped balls
Posts: 2,036
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by muppet paster
Religion is nowt more that an outdated form of mind control for the masses.
Totaly agree, it was invented by a few greedy men who needed a way to frighten the masses into parting with thier cash, to fund these greedy gits and maintain the extravagent lifestyles.
Krade is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:41 PM
  #15  
Duck_Pond
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Twitching with a camera
Posts: 22,177
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Talking

Originally Posted by RichWalk
Still cant beat my bro, engaging the Jehovas witness peeps in a story about Noah going to Jewsons for the wood for his ark........I was rolling about in the hallway as he argued his point!!
I was trying my best not to smirk It was when the other lady said to her friend, who was nodding attentively at my story, that I was making fun of them, that I cracked up laughing.
Duck_Pond is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:41 PM
  #16  
Gridlock Mikey
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
 
Gridlock Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.facebook.com
Posts: 15,233
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Selling like a muttha

No company was safe and now i'm totally and utterly sold up! You want a copier, go get one somewhere else, this cat is knackered.

Chose today as a day of winding down and catching up with some ol' friends Oh and starting some totally cool threads
Gridlock Mikey is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:41 PM
  #17  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by RichWalk
Still cant beat my bro, engaging the Jehovas witness peeps in a story about Noah going to Jewsons for the wood for his arc........I was rolling about in the hallway as he argued his point!!
best thing for those to$$ers is ask them to bladdy well prove it

lets face it theres more hard evidence of little green men than some soap dodger that got nailed to a tree 2000 years ago

but...............


monty pythons life of brian kind of makes the whole thing funny

<< we are three wise men
Well what are you doing creeping around a cow shed in the middle of the night that don't sound very wise to me..
We were lead by a star...
lead by a bottle more like >>>>>

CLASS
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:41 PM
  #18  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by Krade
Totaly agree, it was invented by a few greedy men who needed a way to frighten the masses into parting with thier cash, to fund these greedy gits and maintain the extravagent lifestyles.
Someone else who lives in the real world
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:42 PM
  #19  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by Gridlock Mikey
Selling like a muttha

No company was safe and now i'm totally and utterly sold up! You want a copier, go get one somewhere else, this cat is knackered.

Chose today as a day of winding down and catching up with some ol' friends Oh and starting some totally cool threads
sharkpool is still around
mudpit was forced to close


think of something else for us post ****** dude
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:43 PM
  #20  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by IPKIS
best thing for those to$$ers is ask them to bladdy well prove it

lets face it theres more hard evidence of little green men than some soap dodger that got nailed to a tree 2000 years ago

but...............


monty pythons life of brian kind of makes the whole thing funny

<< we are three wise men
Well what are you doing creeping around a cow shed in the middle of the night that don't sound very wise to me..
We were lead by a star...
lead by a bottle more like >>>>>

CLASS
as mentioned before, I nearly got thrown out of that film for laughing too much!! Bit of a recurrent theme developing today
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:46 PM
  #21  
muppet paster
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Isle of Everywhere
Posts: 17,634
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

I remeber once there was a few of us at a mate's parents house (aged about 16 at the time), their parents were on holiday and we'd decided to have a week long party. One afternoon a couple of Mormons (sp?) knocked on the door, so we invited them in and sure enough they started to preach, so we offered them a beer, they didn't drink, a cup of tea? They were fine with that. Then we offered them a spliff, nope wouldn't touch it, a ciggie? Nope. Would you like a cake? We've baked them ourselves. An hour after the cake they seemed a little dazed and confused and were having problems answering our religious questions. We eventually let them go (after another cake each, nmo idea how they didn't twig....) and they seemed quite doubtful about alsorts of thing by then....

muppet paster is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:47 PM
  #22  
Gridlock Mikey
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
 
Gridlock Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.facebook.com
Posts: 15,233
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Here's one, this really made me laugh

Patrick is one of my god bothering mates who frequents the local and has about 3 half pints of some ale or another. Very bright bloke, awesome with numbers and when on song, is very funny.

So there we were in the pub on a Sunday, there were about 40 people in the place and there was that sort of hum of noise that you get in a local on a sunday afternoon. The telly was on but no one was watching it. Suddenly, Patrick jumps up, points at the telly and shouts, "GO ON MY SON" . We all turn and look at Patrick, then the telly to see Moses parting the red sea. FPMSL

Moses
Gridlock Mikey is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:47 PM
  #23  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

i think the mormons or is it morons have it bad they can have more than one wife






fack that
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:49 PM
  #24  
Gridlock Mikey
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
 
Gridlock Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.facebook.com
Posts: 15,233
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Gridlock Mikey is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:50 PM
  #25  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

are you the Judean people front?????






FACK OFF
we are the peoples front of Judea
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:52 PM
  #26  
IPKIS
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: IPKIS now a member of the exclusive 200mph club
Posts: 13,974
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

your only making it worse for yourself
IPKIS is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:53 PM
  #27  
muppet paster
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Isle of Everywhere
Posts: 17,634
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

He's not the Messiah, he's a very norty muppet!!!
muppet paster is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:53 PM
  #28  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Its them Quakers, that confuse the **** out of me, I mean how the hell can you base a religion on a scottish breakfast cereal.
RichWalk is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:54 PM
  #29  
Lord Jeffery Wode esq.
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: "Resp ir Ator"
Posts: 797
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

I once made the mistake of engaging a couple of Hovis Biscuits in a conversation on why war was a good thing as it helped to keep the population down. Unfortunately, the little sods kept on coming back for more.
It seems the only thing they understand is splinters in the face from a slamming door.

And why do they always call on a Sunday when you've just got up out of bed with a hangover and an erection?
Lord Jeffery Wode esq. is offline  
Old 03 December 2004, 04:55 PM
  #30  
RichWalk
Scooby Regular
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Comfortably Numb" since Aug 2003
Posts: 17,450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by Lord Jeffery Wode esq.
I once made the mistake of engaging a couple of Hovis Biscuits in a conversation on why war was a good thing as it helped to keep the population down. Unfortunately, the little sods kept on coming back for more.
It seems the only thing they understand is splinters in the face from a slamming door.

And why do they always call on a Sunday when you've just got up out of bed with a hangover and an erection?
Jeff, with their lifestyles, it the only time they get to see a drunken pri*k
RichWalk is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Quick Reply: Religion...... I just don't get it!


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

© 2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.