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Old 17 October 2003, 03:03 PM
Boss Hogg
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 347

From Blackadders' court martial in Blackadder goes fourth:

Baldrick: Do not despair, sir. All my talk of food was just a dead herring. In fact, I have a cunning plan. This is not food, but an escape kit.
Cpt. Blackadder: Good Lord! A saw, a hammer, a chisel, a gun, a change of clothes, a Swiss passport, and a huge false moustache, I may just stand a chance.
Baldrick: Ah....
Cpt. Blackadder: Let's see, what have we here? A small painted wooden duck.
Baldrick: Yeah, I thought if you get caught near water, you can balance it on the top of your head as a brilliant disguise.
Cpt. Blackadder: Yeeeesss, I would, of course, have to escape first. Ah, but what's this, unless I'm much mistaken, a hammer and a chisel?
Baldrick: You are much mistaken!
Cpt. Blackadder: A pencil and a miniature trumpet.
Baldrick: Yes, a pencil so you can drop me a postcard to tell me how the break out went and a small little tiny miniature trumpet in case during your escape, you have to win favour with a difficult child.
Cpt. Blackadder: A change of clothes?
Baldrick: Yes sir, of course I wouldn't forget a change of clothes.
Cpt. Blackadder: Ah, now that's something, let's see.....a Robin Hood costume.
Baldrick: I put in a French peasant's outfit first, but then I thought 'What if you arrive in a French peasant's village and they're in the middle of a fancy dress party?'
Cpt. Blackadder: And what if I arrive in a French peasant village, dressed in a Robin Hood costume and there isn't a fancy dress party?
Baldrick: Well, to be quite frank sir, I didn't consider that eventuality, because if you did, you'd stick out like a....
Cpt. Blackadder: [interrupting] Like a man standing in a lake with a small painted wooden duck on his head?
Baldrick: Exactly!
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