I used to have a collegue at work, now you know the type, if you've done it he's done it better etc.
Now he told me that he could tune his (wait for it) peugeot 309 1.4 (i think) to whatever bhp he wanted just by turning a screw that only he knew where it was.
The screw he was refering to was the idle screw on his single carb.
Now there was know way of telling this guy anything as he would just shout you down and make something else up, he truly believed it though and nothing you said would change his mind. why?
Anyone else know anyone like that?

He looked like this but with big teeth.

 

These people are usually known as chavs, ESN (educationally sub normal) or retards. And delusion is big part of their issues. Just like the clowns on xfactor.

Your colleague sounds like a mentalist though.

 

u shuda ask him to tune it upto full then give him a race

 

You Bandit!

You could't keep up with my secret screw on my PuG, you never thought I would post on here did you??

Scooby Nettersmy Pug & it's magic Screw were magic!!

Don't beleive a word he says, mine was always quicker!!!

 

UncleBuck is ScoobyNets very own storyteller

 

everyone has a friend like this..I used to have a tutor at college who was always like this...everything like ailments, she had it worse...


until I came in one day and said that a friend had come down with a certain disease..she jumped straight in and said oh yes I had that
except the disease my friend had was terminal....muppet

 

when i had my haircut the other week the barbour had done everything.

He'd nearly become a premiership footballer, he'd cut so-and-so's hair, someone elses hair, used to teach at toni and guy, only person in the south east who could cut a graduated bob (?) and so on and so forth.

I nearly him why he was working in a backwater barbours doing £11 haircuts if he was so good but just couldnt stomach the reply he was going to give

 

These people were given there own website. www.Scoobykillers.com

 

Dont think i would have said anything either incase he slipped or wrote **** in the back of your head.
Barbours are like taxi drivers, talk **** all day.

 

I spoke to a fool once, who allegedly earned approaching six figures working with nuclear weapons. He is a property tycoon too.....

 

Not called Pete was he?

 

Used to be a bloke I worked with when I was a bar manager, and he was so full of crap it was unreal...thing was he must have told these stories so many times that he actually started to believe them himself! His portfolio included 2 years in the SBS, sleeping with the tall skinny one out of Atomic Kitten (which if you saaw him you would INSTANTLY know it was a lie), working for Radio 1 and knowing all the DJ's there by first name...I'm sure there was lots more but this is all I can remember now! Really brought him down a peg or two when someone else found out that for his entire adult life all he had done was help out on his parents' caravan site in North Wales. **** He never looked anyone in the eye again!

Plus the first time he saw my car in the carpark, he spent a good 20 minutes trying - in deadly seriousness - to convince me that his burgundy Cavalier (with Nos, GReddy etc stickers down the front wings) actually had the engine out of an Astra touring car fitted and would **** all over everything he came up against. I say again, ****!

 

yes there is one in my village,has a m reg wrx with 617 bhp and 2 dump valves and tells everyone mine is a standard pile of s**t,his old car was a rover 620i with a turbo engine fitted with nos and 400 bhp one time i did meet him on a straight road and left it for dead in my old astra (the rover not the wrx) he blamed the turbo lag as the turbo was so big,if the road was longer id have been finished,as i say to anyone who asks,hes a muppet,aint even worth rising to

 

I know a guy and no matter what car you owned he worked for a dealer at some point as a Senior Mechanic and apparently he was trained by Aston Martin and he worked a Ferrari for £45k/year.. But he chooses to live at home with his mum and drive an E reg Astra GTE because he's bought loads of property that he is renting out and he's just saving the money...

And I once witnessed him drive into a tree in a carpark which was fun, obviously he made up some elaborate story to everyone else

 

Some of these are well funny, cant believe theres so many of these idiots around.

 

and they always start their storys with "no word of a lie"

 

lol i want to hear more they make me laugh so much

 

it is quite sad,said muppet in my post is also unemployed but can afford to run,service and keep said 617 bhp impreza but without these people the world would be a boring place at times

 

I went to College with a lad like this. We started off as mates but then he wanted more attention off everyone so started making similar stories up to those above (he was an extra in a couple of films for example, but could never prove it). He got into the 'X-files' in a bad way and started buying Alien magazines and things. Over the summer he said he had been to Nevada Desert with said magazine, seen 'alien aircraft' and been chased out of the USA by the Government I was the only person who called his bluff and he didn't like it. He said the pictures would be in that magazine next month, they weren't. He said they had been delayed, they weren't in the next one either, or the next one, or the next one... He wouldn't back down and it nearly came to blows, that was until one day when he had left his bag in the common room and in it was a diary telling in detail what a lovely summer he had had in Cleethorpes What a tosser! Last I heard he was living on a barge somewhere.

 

i secretly screw his mum

 

Now wheres the link to the to$$er who crashed his R32 or 33 on an allegedly icy road a few months back?

Icy until someone pointed out that the conditions where far from icy

 

One of my mates is the same...

He used to have a Focus ST. He stuck a Cosworth badge on the ack and went round telling people it was a standard badge because the car was built by cosworth and all St's had to get serviced at Coswrith HQ!

He also said he was running 250BHP and ran a 14 second 1/4......

He has just bought a Honda Civic Type R. I said to him he should've gone or the JDM version and got lsd and a bit of extra power. he went on to tell me his had lsd, when I said I didn't think any UK ones came with it he replied with 'mines a limited edition'. was speaking to the salesman that sold him the car on tuesday and do you think he was telling the truth?

Why do these people do it?

 

No word of a lie but I just wooped a Merc CLK on the by-pass I had to slow down so he could catch up, I let him pass before kicking his **** again, then I pulled off to head home and saw an elephant in the field being stroked by the locals.

 

I still work with a bloke like all of the above as soon as he started told us he would kill us if we crossed him. Then said he was in sas. First time he abseiled was out of a helicopter in to tiger bay? This bloke must weigh in excess of 25 stone. And talking to someone who knew him from school turned out he was a pig farmer

 

i think you'll find it was a SLR you wooped

 

hmm that much I seriously doubt I do know an Aussie guy in Switzerland with one of those SLR things, I haven't seen it but been told it sounds like a spitfire when you put your foot down.

 

A Factory Supervisor at work tells the tale of Fishing up Scotland. Been sat on the bank a few hours waiting for that bite that will be the catch of the day. It happened, nearly pulled him in the water, BIG son of a Bitch this must be 1 Hour 17 minuites later he landed the catch of the day-month-year. It was a Nuclear Submarine, When it had been reeled in and surfaced the hatch opened and a Voice SHOUTED f**king hell, might have guessed it would have been you Pete, let us go we are on NATO Manouvers. Never mind telling Stories his are humongous Tales

 

We had a contractor who was just plain loopy! He would lie about everything so the guys would just bait him and he took it everytime. He claimed to have been a pilot, in special forces and racing driver but the only one I did believe was that he'd been in a coma for 6 months after getting hit with an exhaust pipe! He then went on to form an imaginery relationship with a secretary before being ejected from the company by security for harasment
Actually, at the same time we had another contractor who claimed he trained SAS in survival techniques on Dartmoor. He became known as Dangerous Dave but went a bit quiet when we let him know that the guy he worked with had been SBS (of course he hadn't!).

 

guy who worked in our despatch dept was in the SAS in Vietnam,kept goal for Juve and was cured of diabetes

 

have you not considered he new you were serious about your car and he was winding you up