I know its early , but a Christmas joke
 

Father Christmas makes his annual visit to the childrens hospital.
First he visits little Johnny whos crying on his bed because he has no legs.
" ho ho ho" says Santa "lets see what i have for you in my big sack".
He pulls out 2 legs and says "there you go son" "happy christmas".

Next he visits little Billy whos also crying on his bed. Billy has no arms or legs.
"ho ho ho" says santa again "lets see what i have for you in my big sack"
this time he produces 2 arms and 2 legs and says "there you go son" "happy christmas"

. Next he visits little Leroy whos crying on his bed. Leroy has no arms legs or body, he's just a head sticking out of the bed sheets.
"Oh santa, please help me" "all i want for Christmas is to be able to play with all the other children"
"ho ho ho"says Santa "lets see what I have for you in my big sack"
Santa rummages deep inside his sack finally he produces a 12 inch piece of string.
"Ho ho ho there you go son"
"you can be a conker"

SLAB, is that you?

Do you get white conkers?

:brickwall