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-   -   Grammar Check (https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby-related-4/931191-grammar-check.html)

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 04:58 PM

Grammar Check
 
Which is better:

1. We manufacture everything to your exact requirements in any RAL colour; affording you complete control over the design of your development.

2. We manufacture everything to your exact requirements in any RAL colour, affording you complete control over the design of your development.

3. We manufacture everything to your exact requirements in any RAL colour - affording you complete control over the design of your development.

4. Other...


I think 1 is best/correct fwiw.

Midlife...... 04 April 2012 05:04 PM

Do you manufacture in RAL colour ? do you need to add the word "finished" after "requirements" ? Otherwise the semi-colon one is corect IMHO.

Shaun

Bristol98 04 April 2012 05:06 PM

Nah, number 1 should designate a list with the semi-colon, I believe the correct one would be two with just the comma......I could be wrong though!

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 05:07 PM

Fair point actually. So you suggest.

4. We manufacture everything to your exact requirements, finished in any RAL colour; affording you complete control over the design of your development.

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 05:09 PM

I thought a semi-colon was also used for a linked sentence which, IMHO, is what the above is. The 'affording...' bit is very much a direct run on from what preceded it but it isn't a new sentence.

I'm not sure though cause I clowned around in English class. That's why I'm asking :D

GlesgaKiss 04 April 2012 05:12 PM


Originally Posted by Bristol98 (Post 10563561)
Nah, number 1 should designate a list with the semi-colon, I believe the correct one would be two with just the comma......I could be wrong though!

That's what I would have said. Semi-colon is to separate two closely related statements/sentences, or one following on from the other. In this case the "affording you complete control over the design of your development" is just another clause in the actual sentence - i.e. by manufacturing everything to your requirements, we afford you complete control.

Should be all the one sentence. :)

GlesgaKiss 04 April 2012 05:14 PM

Example of semi-colon use might be:

We manufacture everything to your requirements; you are afforded complete control.

There is a difference.

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 05:16 PM

sooo,

We manufacture everything to your exact requirements, finished in any RAL colour, affording you complete control over the design of your development.

???

Seems a little cumbersome to me?

GlesgaKiss 04 April 2012 05:19 PM

I don't think you need a comma before "finished".

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 05:24 PM

Yeah, you could be right.

GlesgaKiss 04 April 2012 05:25 PM

What about this?

We manufacture everything to your exact requirements and in any RAL colour, affording you complete control over the design of your development.

Any good? Or am I complicating matters? Ultimately it's up to you how you phrase it. There's not necessarily a perfect way.

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 05:39 PM

Lol, great minds. That is exactly what I'd just refined it to myself.

</thread>

Cheers all :)

ReallyReallyGoodMeat 04 April 2012 05:40 PM

How about...

We manufacture everything to your exact requirements - finished in any RAL colour - affording you complete control over the design of your development.

Pretty crazy huh?

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 05:47 PM

^^^ That works too and I use that form of punctuation a lot in my day to day writing. However, I'm always fearful that it comes across as a little unprofessional for more formal writing. I have no idea how or why I have that perception :confused:

speedking 04 April 2012 05:48 PM

RAL colour is just an example of a requirement, therefore that part is a sub clause and enclosing it in commas is correct.

We manufacture everything to your exact requirements, finished in any RAL colour, affording you complete control over the design of your development.

Why is RAL colour singled out? Affording is a bit affected, could giving be substituted?

We manufacture everything to your exact requirements giving you complete control over the design of your development.

Kev_turbo 04 April 2012 06:02 PM

we'll mek it an paint it just how you want it

Saxo Boy 04 April 2012 06:17 PM


Originally Posted by Kev_turbo (Post 10563662)
we'll mek it an paint it just how you want it

Lol :D

markjmd 04 April 2012 06:48 PM


Originally Posted by speedking (Post 10563639)
We manufacture everything to your exact requirements giving you complete control over the design of your development.

Good, but would need a comma after requirements.

AndyC_772 04 April 2012 07:12 PM

You're missing a comma, otherwise (2) is correct.

2. We manufacture everything to your exact requirements, in any RAL colour, affording you complete control over the design of your development.

TBH the wording sounds a bit cumbersome, though. I would never use a phrase like "the design of your development"; it just sounds forced and awkward. How about "the design of your product" instead?

David Lock 04 April 2012 07:28 PM

Whatever PAL colour you need we'll match it exactly.

Why do you need more than that?

dl

SinghSuperStud 05 April 2012 07:22 AM

I don't think the semi-colon is right - have a hazy memory of this only being used in lists which aren't written in the normal style of one item per line?

Eg. item one, descript1; item two, desript2 ......

Sentence 2 seems best bet :)

oldsplice 05 April 2012 01:17 PM

Quite honestly, I would only use this.......

1. We manufacture everything to your exact requirements in any RAL colour.


I think you should keep it succinct. It says all you really need to say. :)

Leslie 07 April 2012 01:14 PM

Is it really that important though?

Les

cookstar 07 April 2012 01:52 PM

Where's Bubba Po when you need him? :(

Alg 07 April 2012 03:56 PM

Requirement not requirements.


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