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Made me smile anyway ;

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different
kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland ,
Japan , India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know....they
have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
b y saying,

'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out
5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know....there's swearing, dirty
words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fuucking beer in your Goddamn
frozen mug and eat your motherfuucking snacks because you are Married
now and you aren't fuucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'

.........and, they lived happily ever after.