Funeral etiquette
 

I've not been to many funerals in my day but due to a death in my wifes family I find myself helping to arrange one.

Most things seem straight forward enough but as the person that past away was a catholic there wil be a church part to the service.

I've heard you should donate money to the priest for the service and possibly to the organist too. What is the best way of doing this, walk up to them after cash in hand or what? Also how much should we be talking about and is there anyone I'm missing?

Just trying not to offend anyone or make an idiot out of myself. All comments welcomed.

When my mum died, I think we popped some cash in an envelope and gave it to the priest etc. at an opportune moment, not making a big thing of it and keeping it subtle (personally I thought it was bleedin' weird as we'd already paid loads for everything else and I still had to paint my mums nails as no one else would do it :wonder: but hey, it's the way it was done).

Sorry to hear of the loss, by the way.

As above, thats the best way to do it. Can't advise on the amount, may be worth a few discreet enquiries about that,

Les

discreet enquiries can be difficult, i found the same when we had our daughter christened. you don;t want to ask how much you should give the priest and nobody wants to talk about it unless you ask the direct question....so i did (to my sister who was married in the same church).

we gave the priest a few quid in an envelope after the service. i wouldn;t have thought that the reason for the service would affect what you should offer, so pm me if want to know what we gave for the christening and what i am likely to offer when my son is christened in may - hopefully they will be reasonable "comparables" for you

Thanks guys. Never had to think about this sort of thing before so appreciate the advice.

When I had to go through with this, I asked the undertakers.
They told me to "tip" the priest, organist and grave digger.

They all got £20 each in an envelope.

Sorry for your loss, not nice.

Shaun