Come on, whats your best road rager, ill type mine later when I have more time !

...best?? :confused:

"Best" What! Is it something you are trying to achieve???

I reckon Kenneth Noye wins !!

sick fcuker...

Not quite sure what Mark is after but here is a little story....

Travelling northbound on the A1 in lane 3. Woman in Fiat Ounto arrives and proceeds to sit on my back bumper. As soon as it was safe to do so I pull over and let her past. Give her a shake of the head as she goes.

About 10 seconds later I spot a marked police Volvo on the other carriageway and then another one about 10 seconds later. Figure there is absolutely no chance of there being one ahead to catch this silly woman.

Anyway carries on for a couple of miles when I spot a marked Omega on the hard shoulder with its lights going. I'm breaking my neck to see what is in front, eventually I can see and guess what? Bingo! Silly bint in Punto.

As I go past I give her the old beep beepy beepy beep on the horn. The copper kinda smiles in acknowledgement. Made my day!

[Edited by devils_ad69 - 1/29/2002 12:40:45 PM]

A few years ago I was driving through Slough to get to the M4 with my (now) wife and (still) kids.

I got to a roundabout by the Copthorne Hotel where the dual carriageway widened from 2 lanes into 3 and then back to 2 again, presumably to allow people turning right to do so without being encumbered by traffic waiting to go straight on (there isn't a left turn).

Being lazy and wanting to overtake a couple of slower cars hogging lanes 1 and 2 ;) I nipped into Lane 3 to go past them, and as I eneterd the roundabout itself, white van man in an Astra van came from my right (behind me) and wanted to go down the same bit of road that I did....

...he obviously thought I was going to turn right and thought he could nip in between me and the Mini Clubman in lane 2, but was very surprised (and not very pleased) when I shut the door on him and he had to brake a bit sharpish when I went straight on;)

This appeared to upset WVM as he then gesticulated to me in my mirror with a single raised middle finger and soundless, but obviously not very happy mouthings......:eek:

...Now my belief is that people make mistakes and that you have to make allowances...but I also believe in being courteous and polite and don't like it when people get unnecessarily rude or angry under such circumstances.

WVM was travelling particularly close to my back bumper and IMO was driving in a dangerous manner. In an attempt to encourage WVM to keep his distance and drive more responsibly, I decided that a spot of left foot braking combined with swift acceleration (or as swift as can be accomplished four up in a Rover 218 diesel) would signal my intentions without endangering my car or occupants;)

WVM was unfortunately ill-equipped for such eventualities and had to brake pretty hard, swerving sharply and nearly collecting the barrier (oops):rolleyes:

As I proceeded along the dual carriageway, now indicating left and merging into lane 1 as one should having completed an overtaking manoeuvre, WVM came tearing up alongside, mouthing even ,more soundlessly ('cos the stereo was on) but obviously not very pleased...:eek:

He then did a 'Starsky and Hutch' on me and actually forced me to stop by pulling across in front of me and got out.....

...now, I'm 6'0" and was about 14 stone then, not small by any stretch, but WVM was probably a hod carrier or something 'cos he was built like the proverbial BSH and had hands (actually fists...)
like footballs:eek:

Deciding discretion is the better part of valour, I decided reverse was a better gear than any right now and was planning to leg it backwards then go around him...

My (now) wife then screams STOP!!! STOP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
and thinking there must be a car behind I haven't noticed, obligingly stop.......it turns out the daft cow thought I was going to get out and thump him, why I don't know 'cos the outcome of that particular deathmatch would never have been uncertain...

Now I've stopped, WVM has caught up with me, and signals his intention to remodel various of my facial and other features, so I locked the doors and listened to him ranting outside......

...turns out that WVM junior was sitting unrestrained in the back of the van and smacked her head when I dabbed the brakes...pretty stupid anyway 'cos I might have had to brake for real and the same or worse would have been the outcome, the irony of this is however somewhat lost on Mr Hod carrier....

As he can't get at me without putting his fist through the window, he decides to vent his rage on my innocent company Rover, first tearing the wing mirror out of it's socket and then thumping the bonnet and putting a few choice dents in Cowley's finest.....

At this point I decided enough is enough and reverse away again, and try to drive round him and make my escape!!!

Having got away, I reported it to the police where, unsurprisingly, it became @my word against his...' apparently he reported me for ' driving straight for him when he got out to remonstrate and he had to fling himself onto my bonnet, grasping my wing mirror as a handhold, being as he was in fear for his life, and hence causing the damage accidentally.

Needles to say, the Police didn't take any further action, but several months later my company's insurer took out a civil action and appointed a QC to pursue their interests in court. I was asked to appear as a witness and when I got there, Hod Carrier looked the picture of civility in a grey suit, defended himself with a very well prepared brief and despite thge fact that it was a borrowed van for which he wasn't insured, that he had passengers in the back unrestrained and had caused criminal damage to my car, the judge ended up saying both viewpoints were equally credible and couldn't make a decision!!!

....wish I'd had a video camera...

I reckon the judge was right to be honest - 6 of one and 1/2 dozen of the other.

I had a terrible incident once, in a line of traffic when for no apparent reason this bloke jumps on my bonnet and starts ripping my windscreen wipers off, then two of his mates started as well, then one of them sh1t on my windscreen.
they left me alone eventually only to start on the car behind, I wouldn`t go to the midlands again, ever.

Wouldn't happen to be about 3ft tall, hairy, bright pink arse and a fappin stupid grin would he ????

Could be the brother in law!

Saw an incident that made me laugh a couple of weeks ago. Older woman is driving at 70 in outside lane of 2 lane motorway. Inside lane is doing about 45, but the isn't much in front of her. Guy in Audi behind her is sitting about 4 inches from her bumper. I am behind him, and an artic behind me. She decides to brake test him very gently, he locks up then she wionds down window and makes w4nker motion. Got to end of motorway and she stops at lights. He jumps (big guy 6ft plus) out and runs down to her car, trying to get door open. She is obviously terrified at this point and I am thinking, maybe i should get out and help, or maybe he is carrying a knife or gun or something. Notice something in my mirror. Artic driver is walking towards melee. I swear, this guy must have been pedaling the truck himself. He didn't look tall, but was about the size of Big Daddy. Walks straight up to the tosser from the Audi and hits him the biggest bitch slap you have ever seen. The Audi guy crumples in a heap, gets up and runs back to his car crying. Justice is served:D

fast bloke,

I like it :) :) :)

LOL@Fastblokes story.

Serves him right.

Darren

i was so incensed by someones driving once ,when we came to a stop i got out went to there car took out there keys and threw them far away from there car.

Fast Bloke LMAO!

I saw the follwoing while walking through Watford.

A line of traffic stopped at lights. The guy in the front of the queue braked on amber, the guy behind obviously thought he should have tried his look and hit his horn. With this the guy in front waved his hand dismissively at the guy, it would appear that this was a mistake becude the guy stops sounding the horn and gets out of the car.

The poor bloke in front is now faced with a bloke shouting at him through a window, then the guy punches him in the face a couple of times.

It is at this point I started to think should I try to help and obviously get slapped in the process.

Thankfully two of the occupants for the van behind the car (the one with the owner now lamping the guy at the front of the queue) and restrain him.

The moron had sounded his horn and then actually assualted the other driver with a fully loaded police van sat behind him.

As I started walking off, I actually heard him say that the other guy started it. :rolleyes:

This wasn't a road rage incident on my part but it is a story that I'm proud of.

Stuck in a line of traffic on the A1 queing to get on the slip road up to the M25. I see all these cars racing up the middle lane and cutting in at the last minute. I'm thinking "wankers"!

As I get to the start of the slip road I notice in my wing mirror a brand new Merc shooting up the middle lane with his left indicator on. He sees that I am about to pull over onto the slip road and thinks he'll nip in beside me and then behind me.

Instead of pulling over to the left onto the slip road I move half a cars length forward in an attempt to force this guy to carry on down the A1. Unfortunately he pannicks and screeches to a hault next to me. A black cab slams into the back of him and shunts him into the car in front of me at an angle.

Now I had done nothing wrong except taking my time on pulling on to the slip road, and yet I had in some way caused this accident.

Within 2 seconds this Merc was surrounded by about 15 people all screaming abuse at the smarmy looking rep in the driving seat.
It turns out everyone else in the que was pissed of at seeing people cutting in and this was their chance to vent their anger.

By this time the traffic up ahead was clearing, so I pulled over onto the hard shoulder and went past the lot and carried on with my journey home.

I was out with me better half oneday,nursing a hangover so i was layed back a bit in passenger seat.Next im flung forward and some knob had tried to squeeze along part of hard shoulder and jump the que just tapping the front on her Bm.She blasts horn,next thing some toseer must have been about 19 jumped out of his car,obviously not seeing me runs upto her and starts gobbing of.I jumped out ran round the car and quite happily planted his ass on the floor infront of a mahoosive traffic que,now maybe i was wrong but i dont think its right to attack women.
Funny thing was a while later he turned up at my kik boxing class,which i use to instruct.
Still it cured my mild hangover.

well here is a story about getting your own back??

I was driving down the A127 to southend on sea and i had just beaten a clio williams that would not leave us alone dispite me leaving him for dust every time. We pulled up at the lights and he wound the passenger window down and spat on my window (thankgod the window was up) my girlfriend managed to restrain me and my mate. we drove off and ignored them as the was four of them. then bang!!!! a bloody milkshake drink up the window and bonnett. I could not belive it. i slowed down and kept them in sight followed them around way back out of sight. anyway to cut a long story short we went to the shops brought 18 eggs and flower and coverd there car in it, it was a mess and it stick. Also could not resist on leaving a note.

That was sweet revenge. apart from that im road rage free i just laugh.

Jason - You really got an RS500?

Nice motor!

Nice one Scotty - That stuff dries like concrete - had similar done to mums mini in the 80's by some mates for a prank. got em back next night.

Elvis - you really Elvis Presley?

Wow,
Ratman

zoog, the note left was £"never mess with a scoob" yeah that stuff is a night mare to get off and we made sure the egg shell got sprinkeled on the car nice for scratches when he cleans it. it was great!!

ahaha.

yeh elvis a nice black one,when its clean

Good for you. I am jealous.

Local traffic lights on N.circ. Waiting to turn right. Cars still want to junp the red as I am trying to turn and free road. Sometimes play and nip forward a bit. One driver went balistic.Stops his car. So now all traffic has to stop gets out .Does the "Respect Puff daddy" routine. everyone is sounding their horns and shouting at him to move out of the way.Girlfriend (then)gets out tells him if he wants a bit of "Toe to Toe" it going to be with her!!!!! he looks a bit confused and drives off!!!

Congrats Scott, you must be so proud.

chiark, i was it will teach these idiot's, apart from that i keep a low profile on the road, if agro comes my way i just ignor it. They no i have a scooby and that gets em going.

Hells Angel story:-

bollox lost connection back later

[Edited by pslewis - 1/29/2002 6:08:07 PM]

[Edited by pslewis - 1/29/2002 6:09:07 PM]

Got 2 I can tell you about - the rest are sub judicy (sp?) ;)

Years ago my mate egged someone in the face at about 30/40mph - bloke jumps in his car and chases us.
The 4 up Mini 850 is no challenge to his throbbing 1.6 Cavalier so we soon get outrun.
Anyway we got forced off the road to a stop and the guy runs out an plants a boot in the drivers window. Feck knows how it didn't break. We escaped after that, but there were 4 of us and we shat it! Serves us right anyway, 17 year old twats.

Another time I was in an old Cavalier and I'd cut up a bloke in a Transit accidentally. Raised my hand in apology but that wasn't enough. We were just going on to the bypass so extreme cutting up and brake-testing ensued from him, helped along by his mate in a brand new Sierra 4x4. I wasn't that bothered, due to being a hardy bike courier at the time, but what if it was my dear old mum at the wheel, eh, I ask you?
Anyway, both cars were using every trick in the book to off me.
It didn't take long for me to work out that white van tranny with LAIDLAW FORD written on it and the brand new Sierra might be lads from LAIDLAWS FORD of Edinburgh. Calm smugness prevailed on me :D
Went back home phoned their sales manager and gave him extreme grief for about 15 minutes demanding names, mentioning police etc.. :D :D - so hopefully my feelings were passed on.........