Back to reality
 

I can't deny it, but the last month has been the worse ever.
If I'm honest, it's hit me a lot harder than I would let on to people. Some days are easier than others, but I can't stop thinking about my brother, as he was only 3 years younger than me, we had a lot of good times, great holidays and have had a bloody good laugh, but it still hurts to think that I'll never see him again.

Dave's favourite band was Oasis, so at the funeral, I chose "Stop crying your heart out" to be played as me, my step dad and brothers carried the coffin in. My Mum wanted me to give a speech, which I done and it got some laughs, so my plan worked. I was dreading doing it as I'm a very quiet person, I was shaking like a leaf, but I was complimented that it was a great speech and people were surprised I held it together!

It was really touching that when Julia (my other half) and I went to Whisper's pub with Dave's friends, they bought a pint for him and put it on the bar.
It's the silly things like that which gets me really emotional and I wish I could of had one last drink with him.

Thanks to everyone who PM'd, called or text me.

Again, if I'm honest, I felt over the last month like giving up on everything, including posting up on here, and almost sold the bike and scoob as I've just lost all interest, but I know Dave would kick my ar$e for even thinking about it!! So now I've got to get back into the swing of things again and carry on. I know Dave was very proud of me when I bought my first Scoob and what I done with it, so now my plan is to build the new Scoob up, and make this one even better than before in his memory. As commented before, it won't be a "lemon" for much longer and have got several ideas to make it hopefully something special.

Sorry to hear your having a tough time of it! I know, as well as some others on here, how tough it is when you loose someone close to you (I lost my fiance about 8yrs ago, and I still have "bad" days)
Don't give up, as that is the last thing your brother would want. I'm sure he would want you to remember the great times, and the fun you did have, rather than be sad now he has gone.
All I ever heard when I was in the same place as you are now was "time is a healer" and at the time, it never felt like it, but trust me it IS a healer, and a good one at that. No one will ever expect you to forget and carry on, and I don't believe you "move on" you just learn to cope with it each and every day.
There's not a day goes by when I don't remember, but as each day passes, it gets easier to remember!

Be strong Paul, and don't forget its ok to cry!!!! :)

Chin up fella :thumb:

Not much i can say... but lifes hard, but it does go on....
Live for the now, not what has or could be....

Good luck mate.. as the monty python songs goes

always look on the bright side of life

No matter how dim that might be!

I don't think I can add anything or say anything that hasn't probably been said to you a thousand times already. Life does go on and for you it is still to be lived. I think everyone experiences loss, its one of the only things you can be sure of in life - however, when its cut short like your brothers, likewise like mine - its such a hard loss to take.
You'll get through it, however dark it may seem now, there is light to move towards and each day is a step closer. You'll never forget - you'll never want to - but with time, it'll be easier to remember without the pain!

;)

Paul got to echo the above fella.

As i have previously said, dont know much about cars but can make tea/hold spanners. So if you need any help just give me a tug matey :thumb: