Farting
 

Come on lads do you kinda hide it or do you lift your leg and let rip in front of your lass, I used to try hide the fact I needed to let one go, but now I proudly let it rip, the louder and smellier the better :thumb: :lol1:

Her in doors was reading as I typed, she thinks I need shot :lol1:

It's a man thing http://www.dev.bandamp.com/images/sm...shake_head.gif

Definately a sexual thing as my best man used to lift his leg to let rip purposely in front of his wife so that she might "breathe deep" and she loved it!

nothing worse than being alone in a room, letting one go, it stinks and then someone else walks in...

Just look at my facebook graffiti wall to see the answer for this household :lol1:

Steve, your bum is legendary :D

Dutch oven FTW !

Perhaps that's why she left me. lol

noop its not, unless my mrs has a pair of balls.

shes always producing "love puffs", more so than me maybe 4:1 ratio:eek:

but she does eat lots of vegtables, and has lost 9 lb's in to weeks:o

I heard you can buy farts in a can on ebay, and person would list what they had that they. Betting its the americans who do this.

i just started farting in front of her when we got together, thinking it was "funny"

now she farts infront of me :(

its not funny anymore :mad:

For 9 years I never let go in front of the ex girlfriend, in the end my stomach hurt so much I had to leave her so I can fart to my hearts content.

Now when she comes around to sign the forms from the estate agents, I have no issue in playing our national anthem on my bottom flute.

I can now mix it up with a bit of "name that smell"

I let it rip! If a g/f doesnt like it she can get stuffed :D

I tend to store mine up and have mega trumps when she leaves the room :) If my mega trumps (which I am sure next door will be able to hear) are smelly, I advise her to return with the oust before getting comfortable.
This works well. There are then no trump wars in our gaff :)

There's nothing worse than when you're in bed spooning him and he lets one go in his sleep, yeeeeeuuuuuuch!! :(

Trump wars, PMSL :lol1:

haha

There was a woman that worked for me that moaned about her fella letting rip whilst she was going down on him.

It always conjured up images of her with skids on her face, used to make me chuckle anyway.

This story from b3ta.com cracks me up every time I read it:

"About 5 years ago I did a job, a conference, in a very quiet off-season Swiss resort.
The venue was a huge hall jutting out from a hostel type place, on stilts, containing 4 indoor tennis courts with a glass wall at one end giving a spectacular view of the Alpine scenery. Concerned about the acoustics of such a hangar-sized building , myself and a colleague strolled in to find that the place had been taken over by a large party of rowdy French schoolkids aged about 10-12. They were hanging out of their dorm windows, shouting, fighting, throwing bags at each other, totally Sunny D’d .

Reaching the centre of that cavern, 2 courts in, we realised it was an acoustic nightmare.
Needing to think and wanting to silence the French ADHD party, I bellowed “Hey!!! Ecoutez!” at them. Instantly, they all fell completely silent, stopped in mid-pillow fight and turned to face us. At that point, I struck the pose, cocked my leg, and kick started my imaginary motorbike, unleashing the longest drawn-out sheet tearing rip-snorting fart I have ever done. It was audio perfection, changed pitch mid-way, and I swear it bounced off the mountains and reverberated round that hall for about 10 seconds, I couldn’t believe such a beast had emanated from my very own dirtbox. Lifting off the pedal before I drew mud, I turned to face the schoolkids and took a bow. There was absolute, perfect silence for just a split-second before they (and us) erupted in screams of laughter. Picking ourselves up, literally, we left the building with them still howling.

For the rest of the week whenever we happened across the party of French kids in their class gatherings, all you could hear were them making loud farting noises prompting their teachers/handlers to go completely mental trying to restore order. They obviously had no clue as to why the appearance of these Englishmen triggered total mayhem from their little charges.

I like to think that they all went home and wrote essays about the Incredible English Anal Yodeller (and his astounded colleague)"

English Anal Yodeller, perfect description :lol1: :lol1:

The duvet boobytrap is my favourite. Let an SBD under the duvet, then hang your arse out of the side of the bed for a thunderous one. She tries to avoid the thunderous one by sticking her head below the duvet

It's a wonder you lot don't rip you backside to bits, the noise you make :lol1:

Oh no it isn't!

Les :)

I always let rip, you can't hold what you haven't got in your hand.

As my name suggests - Windyboy.

Just remember, when you small someones fart, airborne particles that were recently up someones arse are now in your nose and down your throat.

Urgh :(

:lol1: nothing worse than when you are a bit under the weather and you lift you'r leg to let rip and you do a follow through!! :freak3:

:lol1: It dribbles down your leg like a cadburys creame egg :D

or you fire out a chocolate raisin :D

[IMG]http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q...evic/rotfl.gif[/IMG]
OMG HOW DISCUSTING NEVER EXPERIANCED THAT BEFORE BUT IF HE DID THAT TO ME HE WOULD HAVE NO **CK LEFT...

OK here goes :D

I was walking down the lane
and I felt a funny pain
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


So I went behind a bush
and it came out in a rush
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


When you're waiting with your mum it comes out ya bum
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea


When you're running up the stairs it comes out ya flares
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea


It runs down your leg like a cadburys creame egg
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea


It comes out your bum like pedigree chum
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.



I was sitting in my class
When it came out of my arse

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Teacher wasn't in
So I did it in the bin

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

When she got back
I got a big slap

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


It shoots out your bum like a bullet from a gun
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


When you come into your home and your pants are full of foam
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


I was running in a race
and I felt some on my face
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


I was sitting in a tree
And it trickled on my knee
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


It's thin and its runny but it isn't very funny

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.




It's thin and it's brown and can happen to a clown
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


When you're driving in your Chevy and your shorts are getting heavy
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


When you're driving in your Ford and your pants are fulla turd
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


I was walking in the attic and my bum went automatic
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


When yer lyin in yer bed and its runnin down yer leg
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea



You can cook it in a pot, you can serve it while its hot
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.



When you're sittin' on a cushion and you really feel it pushin'
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


People say it's gross, but it's really nice on toast
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

I was climbing up a mountain
When it came out like a fountain

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.



Playing at the fair
And I felt a rush of air

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.



I was walking down the road
When I felt a heavy load

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.


When you're going up a ladder and you hear something splatter

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

:lol: :D

Her in doors has read all this, we're all now officially minging :smug: :D

:lol1: I shall not be sharing my SN with a woman ever again. This is my play zone where no woman shall know about. My ex used to read every night what Id been saying during the day so always had to be slightly reserved in my thoughts :lol1: