A wet wet wet friday chuckle
 

Eight-year old little Johnny asked his mother the age-old question:

"Where did I come from?"

His mother told him, "God sent you."

"And my cousin Matt?"

"He sent him also" said the mother.

"Did God send you, too?" asked little Johnny.

"Yes, dear," the mother replied.

"Did God send dad, too?" asked little Johnny.

"Yes, dear," the mother replied.

"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" Johnny persisted.

"He sent them also" the mother said.

"Did He send their parents, too?" little Johnny asked.

"Yes, dear, He did," said the mother patiently.

"So you're telling me that there has been NO s e x in this family
for 200 years? . . . .



. . . . No wonder everyone's so grumpy around here."

I was wondering where you had gone. Good one anyway:)

Les

been busy :D

okay, here's a school playground type one:

Why are turds tapered?









So your arse doesn't shut with a bang! :lol1:

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."

Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said good-bye to my family. . . You've got to send me back straight away."

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."

"Never" replies Dave.

"Well just relax and let it happen" So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him. The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

"Dave, wake up you drunken prat, you've sh*t the bed."

great one Nat