Friday funny
 

Just a heads up the vid is safe for work but some stuff on the web site is NSFW
Guy Wears Dog Shock Collar Video - FileCabi.net

Friday funny's should be safe for work.... that's where most people are......

This always make me smile..

The power of logic




> Two builders (Fred and Barney) are seated either side of a table in a
> rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a
> stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the
> occupation of the suit...
> Fred: "I reckon he's an accountant."
> Barney: "No way he's a stockbroker."
> Fred: "He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!"
> The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets
> the better of Fred and he makes for the toilet.
> On entering the toilet he sees that the "suit" is standing at a urinal.
> Curiosity and several schooners get the better of the builder...
> Fred: "Scuse me.... no offense meant, but me and me mate were wondering
> what you do for a living?"
> Suit: "No offense taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!
> Fred: "Oh! What's that then?"
> Suit: "I'll try to explain by example............Do you have a goldfish at
> home?"
> Fred: "Er...mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!"
> Suit: "Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
> pond. Which is it?"
> Fred: "It's in a pond!"
> Suit: "Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
> then?'
> Fred: "As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!"
> Suit: "Well then it's logical to assume that in this town that if you have
> a large garden that you have a large house?"
> Fred: "As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!"
> Suit: "Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to
> assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite
> probably married?"
> Fred: "Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children!"
> Suit: "Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with
> your wife on a regular basis?"
> Fred: "Yep! Four nights a week!"
> Suit: "Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very
> often?"
> Fred: "Me? Never!"
> Suit: "Well there you are! That's logical science at work!"
> Fred: "How's that then?"
> Suit: "Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about
> the size of garden you have, the size of house, your family and your sexlife!"
> Fred: "I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!"
> Both leave the toilet and Fred returns to his mate.
> Barney: "I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?"
> Fred: "Yep ! He's a logical scientist!
> Barney: "What's that then?"
> Fred: "I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?"
> Barney: "Nope"
> Fred: "Well then, you're a wanker!"

Heard that before but its a funny one :thumb:

Reminds me of.........


2 workers in a shipyard pub having a drink when a posh chap in uniform comes in with fabulous looking totty.

Cutting it short......

Worker says to posh chap "'Ere mate - what do you do for a living then?"

Posh chap says in cut glass accent "As a matter of fact I work for Cunard"

To which worker replies "Well so I do I mate but I haven't managed to pull totty like that!"

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Clue - better said that read.....