It's so sad, and SO hard.
 

My dad, aged 92, has recently had a couple of spells in hospital, and is now in intermediate care.

Unfortunately, he is becoming confused. He rambles, obsesses about things that happened 60 years ago, (the war, etc) and says very odd things.

This from a guy who was in MENSA, and was always well read, well informed etc. It's so sad. WHY do old folk have to end up like this. He just says he wants to die all the time.

And here I am, my wife is in China, my older sister is in America, and it's all on me. I could weep for the guy:( And for myself.

Alcazar

sorry to hear this buddy... it's always hard when its someone close to you...

keep your chin up....

Feel sorry for you mate - humans were never designed to live beyond 70 and it's sad to see the ageing effects.

However, 92 is a very good age - think positive thoughts, remember him as he was .......

Pete

Fine words Pete :thumb:

bought a tear to my eye......

i remember my gramp.....went from being the most active oap to this stage in what seemed like a blink if an eye...........

i dont think you know this pain unless you have personaly experienced it....

i feel for ya buddy especialy if the ones you normally turn to are out of reach right now......


you can always come on here and talk to us eijets!

Darren

Pete's right. We're living too long, and medical science isnt enhancing our quality of life, in our later years.
My Gran made 96, Alzheimers for the last 10, my Grandad 94, physically very frail for 7 or 8. :(
Remember the good times, and keep your chin up. Lifes a series of battles, you'll get through this one.
All the best.

Thanks for the support, guys. There are a lot of good folk out there.......

Alcazar

My Gran is going through similar just now :( she seems to be re-living the past and keeps going on things which happened a long time ago and a lot of it seems to be bad things, not nice to watch someone going this way, she no longer even remembers who I am and tbh I no longer recognise her :( I find it very hard going to visit her now as I want to remember the way she was.

Chin up mate, all the best

My Gran passed away a couple of weeks ago, at the ripe old age of 102 (a month off being 103!!)

Up until the Summer, she lived on her own, but had recently become very confused and eventually lost the whole shabang :(

I was pleased to take her great grandchildren round the day before she took a downhill spell, and she looked so pleased to see them.

That is the memory I will hold of her. Amazing woman.

All the best

Dan :)

My nan was like this, fit and able and then took a sudden turn for the worse, as pslewis says, try to remember the good times, this is what got me through.

got an 84 yr old Mum in Law who's all over the shop with hospital visits, tests, biopsies allsorts at the moment .. its so soul destroying watching her getting more and more frail (Ive known her since I was about 8 as my wife grew up on the next road to me )as she was always a strong woman the matriarch (sp) of a large family who on the whole have gone their own way and dont want the 'hassle' of looking after her now :(
chin up fella
John

It is so sad, but it is also part of life. Try to remember the good times with him. And, be strong, I know it will be hard, but you must try, for him.
As scooby-me said, you can always come on here and vent your feeling with friends.
God bless :) :)

My dad spent the last year of his life in hospital in intense pain, it rips you apart seeing that day in day out, but in some strange way it also gives you strength, you will get on with it and you will be stronger as a result, not that you feel this way now, keep strong.

4 hours before my dad died of an aortic anerism (sp) aged 75, I was sitting at his bedside and he nudged my arm and winked at me, nodding towards a nurse who was bending over!

This is one memory that will always stay with me, and makes me smile and thankful my dad had all his marbles when he went.

My heart goes out to you alcazar.

Keep your chin up.

Sorry Alcazar :(

Remember he is probably not in any pain and may even get some comfort in his ramblings. Make sure he is getting the best care available - make a fuss if you have to and visit him as often as you can. All the best for him. d

Sorry to hear about your troubled times Al, I remember a couple of years ago when my Grandad was going through something similar, I put of visiting him knowing he was on his last days because I didnt want to see him in such a state that my parents told me about. In the end I chose to go and see him and it was very painful to see him like that, He passed away 2weeks later and that was the last I saw of him, it ruined alot of memories for me. I didnt want to remember him like that but I hope I gave him something to remember the last time he saw me, it would have been selfish of me not to have visited him. It was the right thing to do and we just have to try and remember the good times we all had.

Chin up :thumb:

My Gran went the same way, it was a relief for her and the whole family but I don't like the fact when a life passes that it should be a reflief especially to those close.

In contrast my dad died (ironically before his mum - my gran) at the age of 56, I'd rather have taken old age and the complications that brings.

Anyway what I'm saying is be thankful he's had a good innings and you've had plenty of time together, chances are he doesn't understand the condition anyhow, so take some comfort in that.

had the same quandry with my grandad. he fortunately still had his marbels, but was very poorly near the end. I didn't want to remember him like that, so nearly didn't go. But I did, he knew I was there, and passed away 2 days later. I try not to think of that visit, but remember him how he was. An inspiration, like so many people of that generation.

3-4 years ago I randomly popped in to see an erderly relative I only ever saw every year or so. He told me he had cancer, but I actually didn't catch what he was saying. He died 2 weeks later. I've never been so pleased about anything I've done as about that visit.

I think in the longer term you can get passed the memory of the last few weeks / months, and fondly remember the old times. It's good to have a joke about things in the passed with family, especially around Christmas when you most miss people.

All the best for you and your dad.

Very sorry to hear about your problems Alcazar, My mother was the same when she died recently at 96 and it is distressing when you can no longer talk to a parent. My wife's mother was the same for over 12 years and my wife who is the most unselfish person I have ever known, looked after her for all that time too.

Its very hard for you, I know the feeling very well of course.

Les

Don't know which is worse, seeing a loved one fade away like this before your eyes or having someone snatched away without hardly a chance to say goodbye like my Dad. Make the most of whatever time you both have Alcazar... it won't come back.
Yve

I have recently watched my Mum die (about a week ago) riddled with cancer which took months to finally take its toll and it is very hard watching someone you love deteriorate in this way, but I would most definitely say its better to be drawn out (not too much) than swift, as it gives you a chance to do and say all those things that you need to.

For me on ( in hindsight ) what was my Mums last good day I managed to take my 6 year old daughter to see her and got some photos as well of both of them in bed cuddling each other a smiling thats what I will cherish and remember.

So just make the most of what is left because when they are gone thats it, don't live with regrets live for today.

Hear hear.

Les