Advice please
 

Hi guys, Im after a little bit of advice, Its fairly clear that I shall be parting with the other half and looking at my options for the future. I dont really want to move back home with my parents after we sold the house, we currently live in a nice house with everything I could ask for and its not really expensive to be honest and Id prefer to hang onto it if possible. So my option is buy the misses out. My only problem is the current mortgage is more than I could get on my own, we only got the mortgage we have because of joint income etc. What I want to know is if I can raise the cash to split the equity is there an easy way of taking her name of the deeds so the mortgage is just mine? I can afford the payments just dont think I can raise the whole mortgage on my own unless I do something stupid and remortgage over 50 years (technically that might be an option though as I could pay overpayments...hmm, given myself a thought there now...lol) will the mortgage company allow me to remove a name of the papers and let me take it on or will they refuse?

We are splitting on good terms at the minute and I can't see it being a problem but can she refuse to let me pay her share of whats currently ours letting me keep the property or do I have to put the house on the market and buy it back?

Bit of a wierd situation I know but I'd feel much more comfortable if I could keep the house we currently live in.

I believe it's a 'transfer in title' you are referring to, it's where the deeds are changed by a solicitor to reflect the transfer from joint names into single names.

The downside is that this has to be done by contacting the mortgage provider first, so you both have to sit there and go through the whole thing with the mortgage advisor.

You will probably find out there & then if they will allow you to retain the mortgage in solely your name, and chances are they won't.... but it's always worth an ask.

Good luck though................:thumb:

## May help your cause if you can buy the old lady out 'without' needing the use the equity in the house though##

Exact situation to when I split up with my ex wife. She went to see the mortgage provider and because, even after my half of the equity was taken out, there was still a good chunk of equity left even though she was going to be borrowing 175k (ish) they had confidence that she would keep up the repayments.....also there is an isurance that mortgage companies can take out for you just incase....think its about 20 a month or something.

What a **** time for it all to happen. Im actually really annoyed at all this tbh, we remortgaged the property one month ago tieing us into the mortgage for the next 5 years and for me to remortgage the property on my own or even sell the house paying off the current mortgage will cost us another 5k straight away :rolleyes: hence why if I explained to the other half that selling the property now means we lose that plus after paying the loan off we only have x left which we could split she would be happy with that figure knowing its right so for me to give her half of that x and then just continue using the mortgage Im in now would be perfect, selling everything and starting again seems like a longer ballache and means I'll be be stuck with being in her life for god knows how long until the house is sold whereas my option means we both get to move on pretty swiftly.

thanks for the correction in what Im talking about, I shall look into the transfer in title then. :)

She might be under the assumption that you will sell the house and split the money. If she finds out that you want to keep the house for yourself, she may well start to feel that she is getting the raw deal, as she will be homeless and having to start again.

She could then legally force the sale of the house.

You remortgaged in a major way a month ago and now you're splitting? Surely one of you must have had an inkling things weren't as they should have been when doing this? Off topic i know, but it does make me wonder. :Suspiciou

So i take it this impeding break up was recent then???

A lot depends on the reason behind this split and her state of mind.........

her state of mind being exactly that, I dont know what shes thinking, AFAIK everything was fine, she went on holiday with her mate for 3 nights and came back a completely different person. We've been split for about 2 weeks now, shes living at her parents, Ive asked her back numerous times and made my feelings very clear about being able to work things out, from what I gather she hasnt really made any effort to think about what she wants and on Monday swanned off to see an old school friend whos offered to put her up for a bit out of town. I made the decision (not told her yet) that Im sick of being kept on a string and being messed around and that if she doesnt know what she wants now and isnt 100% happy about coming home to me then its not enough to base the rest of the relationship on hence the split for good coming around, it was initially a break to have a think.

So, shes due back from her friends maybe today (she was supposed to be coming home on friday but said shes not bothered about going anymore and might come back on Wednesday, I dont know what I see her because since the minute she left on Monday shes turned her phone off)

Aha, i see. Greek waiter syndrome. :)

lol good guess but she didnt go to Greece ;) but yes, quite possibly something like that, I dont really know though to be honest and dont like jumping to conclusions but whether anything like that has or hasnt happened its irrelevant in the current situation.

More Ouzo madam? http://www.ashlyn.plus.com/gifs/pound.gif

If its gonna cost an extra 5k then she should pay it!! Its not your fault youre gonna have a 5k bill is it.

And the reason why she has turned her phone off is because, and it seems you have, she doesnt want you to phone her because her head is clearly in bits and she needs to think about your future together.

Well looks like after holiday she thinks the grass is going to be greener. At least there aren't kids involved and you're both still be amicable. Better to find out this side of her now than in 10 years time perhaps. The new mortgage deal is a bummer though.

Sounds like she's just killing time till the Crabs clear-up.

She'll be back soon :)

One thing i've learnt i sto trust your instincts - if you think there is another bloke involved ask her outright - but try and remain calm, ask her if she loves you still and consider marriage guidence or at least some of proffesional help.

if you love her, fight like f*** to keep her, only give up when everything is lost, at least you can look back and say you tried.

Regards


Trisha

Best not cause Ive nailed her 3 times in the last couple of weeks. Just about keeping me going :D

Seriously though yes, I feel she hasnt kopped off with anyone and that her best mate who she went with has told her how much of a laugh she can have without me (dunno why because Ive never been protective and always given her anything shes wanted and let her go anywhere she wanted) so shes come back thinking we sell up, I can have a bundle of cash and kick start my life :confused: I know shes been looking at surgery aswell which is a whole other subject which I dont want to go into as its hardly any of my business if thats what she wants let alone any of your lots ;) )

As for that 5k in the mortgage tie in I cant hold her to that, Id have to split it, although Ive asked her back we are splitting amicably and want to do it as fairly as possible without arguing over £2500.... Not exactly worth the hassle is it?

:lol:

LOL, sorry but :lol1: at the irony :D

Thanks Trish :D didnt want this to be an agnoy aunt thread tbh, my mind is fairly clear when I think about what I want for the future but then when I start to think about what shes thinking then my head gets all screwed up...lol

I want to refrain from asking her if there is another bloke involved, for a start Im not convinced there is and if there isnt Ive blown any chance anyway because it shows my lack of trust in the relationship, even though she doesnt trust me in the slightest... :rolleyes:

Well it's going to be a ****ty few weeks/months for you then! is she still paying in to the mortgage or is she 'on a selfish biatch payment break' write down all your expenses for the house while she's off doing a feckin Shirley V. and deduct half from her settlement..........:thumb:

lack of trust?? So she is ok to just feck off without thinking about your feelings?? Thats when you have the right to ask what questions you want because the second she stopped acting like a proper wife that was the time you are allowed to ask what you want.

lol... to be fair I earn ALOT more than she does, her monthly wages doesnt cover the mortgage let alone any other bills, shes only been gone this month, she asked how much she should contribute and I said leave it for the time being, probably only because I got an £800 bonus last month so was comfortable paying everything that needed to be paid (2 lots of car tax, insurance and the bills) but if the split goes ahead I shall be asking for some contributions to help me along :)

Pay for her to have a Boob job. This will keep her happy, and you'll have some nice big t1t's to play with every night. :thumb:

Seriously though. Sit her down and discuss why she now thinks the way she does. Point out that her friend has been poisoning her brain, as she's jealous of the pair of you. Even if her friend isn't, it will make your lass think about it. This is clearly what has happened when she's been on Holiday.

Most importantly though. Keep her away from her friend, as she seams to be the instigator in all of this.

we're not married :thumb: I see your point though, I know shes been looking at going back to her holiday destination again with 6 other people on her birthday in a couple of months (the wonder of history in Internet Explorer eh) see thats whats annoying me, shes supposed to be taking this time out to think about what she wants and she doesnt seem to have done that but instead concentrated on what shes doing for her birthday in a couple of months etc.

[quote=stilover]Pay for her to have a Boob job. This will keep her happy, and you'll have some nice big t1t's to play with every night. :thumb:

quote]

A very good friend of mine has just done that. There is something like a 12 week period where cant play with your new toys and she left him 13 weeks after the op. Right out of the blue, been together for years. Sorry off topic.

On topic!!

So is she going to get half the equity in the house then if you earn more than she does and probably paid more into the house than she has??

Bollox to that mate, you need to start thinking about yourself and not her as the the person she was when you got together. Give her a few weeks and she will start trying to bleed you dry.

Sounds to me she knows exactly what she wants :)

falkster, in the real world mate shes on the mortgage, joint bank accounts, everything Ie had in the past Ive given to her aswell, you really think I can fight and say shes due nothing?

If she dont trust you in the slightest then that means she cant trust herself.

Sounds like she walking all over you. Do you know this mate shes gone to see ? or is it the lad who she met on holiday ?

Hope you work it all out, How old are you both

What she is due is what she has contributed to the home. IE if you have no kids and she hasn't been staying at home cleaning and washing looking after babies then she has a lot less claim, based purely on what her contributions have been on the mortgage and bills.

Make sure she's not up the duff by some new bloke and is going to go demanding the house for her new 'family'!