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"Women" -a Chemical Analysis

ELEMENTS:-Women (Other suggested names: bird, Tottie, Chick, Babe, Skirt)
SYMBOL:- Wo
DISCOVERER:-Adam
ATOMIC MASS:-Accepted as 53.6kg but may vary from 40kg to 200kg
OCCURRANCE:-Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1.Surface usually covered with paint film.
2.Boils at various temperatures, freeze without any known reason.
3.Melts if given treatment.
4.Bitter if incorrectly used.
5.Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6.Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1.Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2.Absordes great qualities of expensive substances.
3.May expolode spontaneously without prior warning and for no apparent reason.
4.Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by sturation in alcohol.
5.Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1.Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2.Can be great aid in relaxation.
3.Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS
1.Pure specimen turns rosy pink when found in its natural state.
2.Turns green when placed beside better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARDS
1.Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2.Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.