ScoobyNet.com - Subaru Enthusiast Forum - Cricket Sledges

>The greatest cricketing sledges of all time
>
>1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:
>
>When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the
>wicket
>with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
>
>2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
>
>As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had
>been
>waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you
>spent
>it eating," Cullinan retorted.
>
>3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken
>farmer
>Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so f***ing fat?"
>Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I f*** your mother, she throws me
>a
>biscuit."
>
>4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
>
>During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played &
>missed: "You
>can't f**king bat."
>Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we
>make a
>fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
>
>5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:
>
>During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A
>few
>balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please," Merv called out
>as he
>ran past the departing batsman.
>
>6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
>
>During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to
>Viv,
>but continued to stare at him after deliveries.
>"This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my
>culture we just bowl."
>Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the
>batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off."
>
>7. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga:
>
>And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which
>was
>picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called
>for a
>runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney:
>"You
>don't
>get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!"
>
>8. James Ormond & Mark Waugh
>
>Ormand had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by
>Mark
>Waugh.
>
>MW: "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here?
>There's no
>way you're good enough to play for England."
>
>JO: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."
>
>
>9. Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan
>
>McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"
>
>Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
>
>McGrath (losing it): "If you ever f**king mention my wife again,
>I'll
>f***ing rip your f***ing throat out!"
>
>
>10. Mark Waugh & Adam Parore
>
>Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Parore) comes to the
>crease
>playing & missing the first ball. Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a
>couple
>years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless
>now."
>
>Parore (turning around): "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you
>were
>going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married
>her, you
>dumb c*nt!"
>
>
>11. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga
>
>Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan
>batsman
>Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the
>batsman
>out
>Of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get
>out of his
>crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar
>on a
>good length. That should do it."
>
>
>12. Ravi Shastri vs the Aussie 12th man
>
>Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single. This guy gets
>the
>ball
>in and says, "If you leave the crease I'll break your f***ing head."
>
>Shastri: "If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be
>the
>f***ing 12th man."
>
>
>13. Malcolm Marshall & David Boon
>
>Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed
>a
>couple of times.
>
>Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to
>have
>To bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
>
>
>14. Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row
>
>Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
>slip,
>And right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word.
>At
>the end
>Of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I
>should've
>kept my legs together, Fred."
>
>"So should your mother," he replied.
>