Advice please: neighbour thinks our 6-year old son is bullying his son
 

Anyone any thoughts on this?

We've just had our next-door neighbour round. His 6-year old son told him that our 6-year old has been hitting and kicking him when they've played together. His son apparently has lots of bruises on his legs. I have not seen these.

The ONLY time they've played together in the last two weeks was for 30 minutes on Saturday in our garden, and I was with them for most of that time. They were just playing a little football, and playing with waterpistols. I saw no hitting or kicking, apart from kicking the ball. And the neighbour's son did not run off home crying, he went in because his mum called him in for tea.

I told the neighbour this, and he responded by saying "my son would not lie". I have not been able to ask my own son 'cos he had already left for school.

I am concerned that he is making accusations like this with no real evidence -- especially as I was with the kids for most of the time.

Should I just tell my son not to play with his kid again?

First things first.....

Ask your son if he did it.

If he did, tell him off.

If he didnt, tell your neighbour, he didnt, and point out to him that YOUR son doesnt lie either.

All very petty if you ask me, two six year old lads playing footy, someones bound to get kicked.

Wouldnt worry too much if I was you.

Tell him to stop abusing his son and trying to pin the blame on you.

I guarantee he'll never speak to you again.



Seriously, hope you get it sorted.

not a nice situation to be in, tell the busy body to fek off otherwise they'll have some bruises of their own ;) :D

ona serious note though u can only tell them that you spent alot of time with them on saturday and never witnessed and of this and ask what the neighbour expects you to do about it?

Well, you have a six year old kid, so obviously you are aware that kids DO lie. Mine do, and so do all the ones he plays with. It's normal. The only problem here seems to be your neghbour, who seems incredibly niave (sp?).

Maybe there has been a bit of stuff you haven't seen, but that's usually par for the course for small kids.

Geezer

just ignore it and dont let him play wityh the whimp again.

your kids does lie...so does his so you'll never get to the truth and two adults arguing over which kid lied is stupid...nothing poistive can come from dealing with it...so dont.

If you were with them for most of the time [I'm assuming 5-10mins unattended] I think there would not be enough time for the child to stop crying if he were hit hard enough to be covered in bruises. And why were these not pointed out to you at the time. Saturday to Sunday he must have been in the bath ...
It is serious though so you're going to have to talk to your son without making him feel like he's done something wrong.
In what way was your neighbour question, accusing or asking what you saw. Difficult to answer I know but I hope you can get this sorted diplomatically.

See what your son has to say and if it wasnt him, try to find out
a) whether the neighbour's son really has bruises
b) if he does, who gave them to him (could be a bigger kid at school trying to get money or clothes off him so your own son may be exposed to, or could be the dad or mom or whoever)

Your son probably beat the neighbour's lad at waterpistols when you weren't looking and so made up stories. Why don't you and neighbour have a chat with both lads present and try and find out what happened. If someone needs to say sorry then that shouldn't be too hard for a six year old. No point in falling out with your neighbour if it can be avoided. Failing that drop poisoned choc drops over fence :D

Thanks to all for the advice.

Bajie, he was being fairly accusatory. We just told him that we didn't see any bullying / fighting, and it's not like our son to do this (which is true, he doesn't usually fight with other kids 'cos he's smaller than most).

Tell him next time he's going to hit another kid, do it where it won't leave bruises.:D
I'll get my coat:D
Alas

If thats the case then, why are you being confronted over 24hrs after the incident.
Happened on Saturday, you are told about it when the child has gone to school. Thats a long time to be waiting to accuse another party.
Have a chat to your little fella, you'll know from his body language if something is amiss.
The bruises should still be there tonight ...

take your lad round their house and sit them down TOGETHER (will make it harder for 1 to lie to the other) and chat about it, dont need to shout just try to find out what happened really and those responisible can be punished in what way u see fit :)

Thanks again to all ... you too, Alas ;):D

Bajie, that's what I thought -- the timeline doesn't add up, and I KNOW my son did not play with this kid yesterday. I'll have a chat.

Cracking!
Theres a fine way to fall out with your neighbours once and for all. I think Davegtt is right. Ask your lad what happened (if anything) and if he says he doesn't know why the other lad is blaming him for bruising then go round there and see what the lad has to say face to face (I'd also point out to your lad that if he says nothing happened you'll be off over the other lads house - this should make him think twice about lying to you)

My 3 year old daughter fights tooth and nail with my neighbours 3 year old daughter. We split them up but one or the other tends to come away with something. Fortunately we are all friends and each gives as good as the other so we can't argue. In fact I've seen my nieghbour go for some woman whose lad knocked over one of her older kids - fair play I've never flinched just by a persons verbal onslaught but she was very close to making me wince! :eek: :D

THEY ARE 6 YEARS OLD!!!!!

cant belive you just dont ignore it.

When my lad was six and even now at twelve, he comes home with allsorts of bruises on his legs.

Lads play footie and get kicked, my lad says he cant even feel them until he looks and sees bruises on his shins. Its common for lads especially to get bruises on their legs with climbing, kicking and general horse play ;)

My guess is that this lads just been a lad and come bath time, Mum and Dad have seen bruises and thought OMG ............................... (let me guess, is he an only child?)

Whatever you do, dont fall out with your neighbour

Go round with your son, sit down and ask the kid if what he is saying is true about your son. If he says yes, just say "fair enough, ***** i cant let you play together until you learn to play nice"

Then leave saying no hard feelings and tell your son not to play with him anymore (for now anyway) as he was trying to blame you for bruising him and i know you didn't so dont go anywhere near him.

This bloke sounds a complete nob, you'll never win against the "My son always tell the truth" brigade. Where kids are involved its always 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other.

Sounds as if this lad has shat himself when mum and dad have queried and "interviewed" him about the bruising and i'd say he's had the words put in his mouth by his parents.


All IMHO of course :)

Speak to your kid and ask him and then take your kid round to meet the both of them. Don't ignore it because it will get out of hand. He may be telling the truth, you don't know yet. Just because he is your kid doesn't make him innocent.

Didn't i just say that :D

No I did :D :D

Yeah, I was just providing a summation. ;)

PMSL, good one ;)

:D

I agree with Davegtt, best way to try to sort it out I think.

Regardless of the fact that I don't know the other father, his reaction seems to be normal enough initially. How would you feel if your lad came in and told you the same thing?

Needs a bit of unbiased enquiry I think.

Les