Fellow scoobyneters, need some advice...

Told the misses last night that i couldn't do this anymore and we should split. It’s been over 3 years of arguing and crap. Enough is enough!

She's still at home, but wants to get our ASAP.

* How long would it take to get divorced?

* Is there anything I should do while she’s still at home (i.e. have her sign some legal documents or something which would speed things through?)

Lucky my old man still has the house in his name.....but was gonna transfer it this year. Thank god that didn't happen, right!

Any other advice would be appreciated.

Darms

I got divorced this year took 4 months ths as straight forward, then got married again !! ( had reception in Mac D's afterwards lol), whateva you do don't leave her in the house alone I moved out to my mums house and the b1tch slowly cleared most of the things outta the house.,

Remember the golden rule:

Don't trust anybody, even your best mate. Women are known to shag your friends during these situation. Killing her then killing yourself is of course the correct option and one that should've been done by men all over the world like me. :D

Okay seriously, a divorce can go smooth as a baby's bottom like in 3-4 months or in my case almost a year and still no joy. Some women just like to hang on until you got the little bit extra money. The only reason why mine wants a divorce now is because she's getting married again. Again its all up to the woman. Expect to lose out on most things btw.

Start disposing of any shares, isa's, pots of cash etc

Alternatively just go on a spending spree - nice new mods for the scoob.

Oh feck - she is of course entitled to half your car! :eek:

The solution to the car problem is simple. With the depreciaton rate of the impreza, just say it costs like 100 quid now thanks to the mods installed and stuff. Alternatively, you can sign it on to me and I'll take care of it. :D

LOL glad to see Katana on here :D Hows it going mate? 1 year is that all? Mine has been going 3 years so far and I am still waiting for the final confirmation so I can go out on a massive drink up :D

As for your situation Darms sorry to hear things have gone bad but you really do need to have your wits about you now. Any bad feelings that may have been saved up at the back of the mind she now has the option of doing you as much damage as possible depending on how nasty she can get. Hopefully it wont be like that but it happens to a lot of blokes when you didn't realise they had such an evil streak in them, I found that out through experience :eek:

Good luck and first and foremost get yourself a solictor and get everything you posses that you value out of your name and into the name of someone you can trust like parents.

Hey B2Z is here! Who was the other guy in our "crew"? :D

Nah mine is just fooling about with me at the moment. But I heard she's getting married again soon so she needs this divorce more than I do. I've basically gotten over my fear of commitment and have been going out with a college student now. Thats almost a year not being in a relationship. :eek:

[Edited by Katana - 12/9/2003 10:09:48 AM]

Thanks guys for the advice....

sounds like its a long road, gonna try and see if she will sign a legal document saying that she dont want anything. (fingers crossed). Re my Scooby....not gonna risk it, looks like my old man 60+ will be the luck owner of my MY00. Gonna see the Bank manager asap, re my ISA's, savings........

its the pits cos were indian, we got the community and the culture to deal with too.....she wants me to wait till her bro gets married b 4 we announce our separation...... Can't do that. Me off home to have a natter (yeah she took that day off!, Lucky her!)

I just want it over and done with. But from ya comments sounds like its gonna take a while.....

LEGAL ADVICE NEEDED......better contact my Solicitor.

Thanks once again.

It doesnt matter about race mate. My ex wife is white and I'm a crossbreed mongrel with enough races under my belt to nulify any chances to be a racist for fear of making fun of myself. If a divorce is immenent, do it and not care about what other people think or if the stars are right or something. Trust me, I know what you're going through and the sooner you can do this the better. If you can, joke about it as it'll help ease the pain..

this brought a smile to the face. :)

sorry, but i really think that's a non-starter, unless you have already performed the lobotomy whilst she was watching corrie...

If she signs it without legal advice a solicitor will nullify it saying it was done under duress etc. If she takes such a document to a solicitor there is no solicitor on the planet that would let her sign it as its their job to get as much for their client as physically possible!

I wouldn't even waste your time with it. Legal advice is the only route. The one thing you can say to her is that neither of you wish to line the solictors pockets so lets try and make it as mutual as possible and to try and agree on as much stuff as possible before the solicitors start writing letters running up huge bills arguing over things.

Doesn't matter what you get her to sign, law is law. If she wants 50+% she'll take it.

Oh - and don't buy any lottery tickets or anything else likely to give you a windfall. She's entitled to 50% until the decree absolute and even after, unless you sort out a clean break order, she can claim all her life.

Good innit :rolleyes:

OMG!

Its gonna be a nightmare!

Better go home and have a chat.....hope she's calmed down.

thanks

You lot make out that us girlie's are the bad ones in a break-up!

I had to pay my ex £22 grand!

Us girlies are not always the bad ones guys :(

It took two year for me to get a divorce from my hubby, I could have taken 50% but would have settled for £30K he offered me £5K so I took the b@stard for £45k instead.

We have no children, and the property was in joint names and we paid equally into the property.

I just wanted back what I felt was a fair share, £30K was well under half, had he been reasonable he would not be so much out of pocket now.

Have to say the day I got the settlement through I went to my nearest Subaru dealer and bought my STi8 :D:D

Charlie

Well at least you spent your's wisley. Found out my ex had spent his £22k on booze, fags and havin a good time! Right pissed me off to know that!

Try ur local citizens advice bureau,I administrated my divorce from the ex based on advice from them some years ago,cost about £70.
My missus wanted out asap which made reaching an amicable settlement between us easier and with no kids to muddy the waters the hardest part was satisfying the court that the grounds for divorce were sound.
Best thing that happened for both of us,
Good luck

forgot to mention did mine myself cost £180

I can't believe you actually felt smug about it..

DIY is the fastest and cheapest way to a divorce. Do not go to a solicitor. If one of you sites unreasonable behaviour, as long as the grounds are not contested it can all be over very quickly. My decree nisi took only 2 months from the time of the split and the decree absolute was granted the other week :D so about 4 months in total.
I kept all my assets as well :D so the cow can not make a later claim :D and I pay a big fat zero to the csa as I am now a full time student :D

And you're proud of that? :(

Ok....

Things have been ugly tonight...but need to take a day off and get something sorted. Citizens advice B. sounds good idea.

thanks once again...

If you are married and the house is solely in your name it makes no odds, she will challenge you for that too.

Notice you didnt say anything about money grabbing women but instead on men who dont pay alimony. Methinks you've either been brainwashed or trying to impress the women here.

PS, am a student too. ;)

edit: Spent the money I've got from selling my flat and she got a big fat zero too STI VII.


[Edited by Katana - 12/9/2003 9:45:06 PM]

I'll see you at Uni next year then Katanna ;)
Notice I pay the csa a big fat zero. Am I related to the csa? NO! Am I prepared for my kids to live with me full time and not be a burdon on the state? YES! Just because I am a man it does not make me a bad person or parent :rolleyes: but in this society I am at a disadvantage because of its pre conceptions about Men and their suitability to raise children on their own!
I am very proud about paying the csa nothing! If you have a problem with this situation perhaps try pointing the finger at the state or at Women, oh sorry that is not PC is it!
The automatic asumption that I instigated the divorce and that I have left my children with nothing would have nothing to do with me being a bloke would it?

My sentiments exactly. Why is it that women, despite being unfit parents a lot of times, automatically gets to keep the child?

Sexist attitudes of the Judical service and of society et al at large.
The role of the family in modern society has got a lot to answer for. As providers of the next generation of workers we must perform our task to procreate with more than one partner and become serial monogamists and so increase the falling birth rate of the UK. While we get to have kids with more than one woman they get to perform the socialisation (brain washing to percieve men in a negative attitude) of the next generation of workers.

Well said STi7 - Why is it the female who always gets the kids - especially once breast feeding is over and done with;) What an additional can of worms/bartering point that will be when the European court decides its somewhat sexist...

My biggest advice here is to do your best to be calm & objective and not hurl insults and accusations during this difficult time. Make it as easy as possible on each other. Try and get both parties to calmly agree that you are simply bored and fed up with each other and that it is time to move on. Forget the concept and legal term 'divorce'; that is so inconsequential compared to managing your feelings and well being.

Mentioning the 'D' word by some is seen as drawing the sword and being scary. Put it to the back of your mind and sort out the PERSONAL (not legal) logistics one to one, or get a mate in to mediate if it helps. Only once does this totally fail should you consider loading up the solicitor and cheque book...

Be flexible and reasonable - give her the bloody Hi Fi; on a personal well-being level that is SO UNIMPORTANT. Let her have the 'point' as you may be winning more points in return.

D

I'm not talking about alimony. I'm talking about stumping up to look after the welfare of your kids. CSA = Child Support Agency :rolleyes: