Not sure if there has been a Blackadder quotes thread before but here's my favourite:

Captain Flashart:

"....treat your aeroplane like you treat your women.....get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back...."

Brilliant!

Cheers,
Darren.

Sausage!!!!!!!

OK darling!!!!

Real Green

"I heard it was 'cos a guy called Archie Duke got hungry so he shot an ostrich !"

Row row row your boat, gently down the stream
Belts off, trousers down, isn't life a scream. Woof!


:D

"I've had a good idea"
"Be carefull, you're foot might fall off"
"Why?"
"My brother had the good idea of cutting his toe-nails with a scythe and his foot fell off"

Absolute Genius.... I think of it every time someone says "I've got a good idea"

Hot Sex Madrigal in the Middle of my Tights.

<Lord Flashheart>

The last time I said ''I Love You''....and 30 seconds later she was pregnant WOOF! WOOF!:D:D

..and my favourite

''AAARRGGHH!''

''barbed wire sir?''

''no Baldrick,I've just put my elbow in a blob of ice-cream!!''

[Edited by Elmer Fudpucker - 10/16/2003 8:46:42 PM]

the situation we are in is as sticky as when sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun:)

A plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a badger

Steve

PS or was it fox :O

"captain blackadder did not shoot that delicious plump breasted pigeon"

"I think I'll write my tombstone - Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he's bloody annoyed."

Blackadder: "...speaking of which, where is the crew?"
Redbeard: "oh, we don't have a crew"
Blackadder: "but I thought all ships had a crew?!"
Redbeard: "opinions are divided on the matter.... I say you don't need a crew, all the other captains say you do!"
Blackadder: "We're dead!"

:D

G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?"
EB: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."

Bob?

Blackadder to Mr Ploppy the jailer.

"I would shake your hand but I fear it may come off"

This is the funniest sketch ever!

"a turnip shaped like a thingy"

"I laugh in the face of fear and tweak the nose of the dreadful spindly killer fish" :D

My all time favourite Black Adder line :D

Out of my way or I’ll give your girlie back home something to hang her bath towels on WOOF

The stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck to a sticky bun.

How about ?
Priest. are you Edmund,Duke of Edinburgh?
Edmund. no,,I'm a bowl of soup
or
Harry. Ah! Edmund,I'm glad I've caught you
Edmund. Er,doing what,exactly?

First series rules !

"Just a wild stab in the dark ... which is what you'll be getting if you don't start being more co-operative"

"As cunning as a fox who's just been made professor of cunning at Oxford university"

"Percy , you look like a bird who's swallowed a plate"

Balders: Four.
Blackadder: What?
Balders: Some beans and some beans is four .

Flash (about kate/bob):
She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

And many, many more.

In short, a German spy is giving away every one of our battle plans.
You look surprised, Blackadder.
I cerainly am, sir. I didn't realise we _had_ any battle plans.
-- Cpt. Darling, Melchett and Edmund : General Hospital

And if you come back with information, Captain Darling will pump you thoroughly in the debriefing room.
...Not while I've got my strength he won't.
-- Melchett and Edmund : General Hospital

We tell HQ I've gone insane, and I'll be invalided back home to Blighty before you can say 'Wibble'. Poor, gormless idiot.
But I'm a poor, gormless idiot, and I've never been invalided back to Blighty.
Ah yes, Baldrick, but that's because you never said, 'Wibble'.
-- Edmund and Baldrick : Goodbyeee...

READY-AIM-FIRE !!! Wait for it..... wait for it!!! :D

Doc - "So you've started fancying boys and naturally you're worried"
EB - "No !"
Doc - "Bloody hell I would be ! It's not everyday a man wakes up to find he's a stark raving bender with no more right to live on Gods clean earth than a weasel"

:D

"What we have here madam, is the very latest in front wall high elevation orifices, with a wide capacity gutter installation below."

"You mean, you crap out of the window ?"

B - "Dog; not a cat"

EB - "and how about "C" ?"

B - "C, big blue wobbly thing what fish live in."

And who could forget;

"Seen it, pinched it, spent it"

"You'd like a table...not too near the band...in the name of Uberlointnent Von Genschler.......I think you may have the wrong number"
Capt. E.B. in the trenches.