>>"An Englishman, an Aussie and a South African are in a bar one
>>night,
>>having beer. All of a sudden the South African downs his beer,
>>throws his
>>glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces
>>and
>>says:"In Sath Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to
>>drink
>>from the same one twice." The Aussie, obviously impressed by this ,
>>drinks
>>his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
>>shoots the
>>glass to piecesa and says: "Well mate, in 'Straaaaailia we have so
>>much
>>sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the
>>same glass
>>twice either." The Englishman, cool as a cucumber, picks up his
>>beer and
>>drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun, shoots
>>the
>>South African and the Australian and then says:"In London we have
>>so many
>>****ing South Africans and Australians that we don't need to drink
>>with the
>>same ones twice.

> > An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. They all suffer
> > from a severe stutter.
> >
> > "What's it to be?" asks the stunningly beautiful landlady.
> >
> > "Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi.................." says the
> > Englishman.
> >
> > Up steps the Irishman. "Threeee p pints of of of of gui gui gui
> > gui................"
> >
> > Then the Scotsman tries."Th th th thth th th th th th th th th
> > th................."
> >
> > "Oh sod this!" says the beautiful landlady and walks away to serve
> someone
> > else. She returns ten minutes later and asks if they are ready to order
> > yet.
> >
> > "Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi", stutters the Englishman.
> >
> > "Three pints of gui gui gui gui........." tries Patrick.
> > And then the Scotsman starts "Th th th th th th th th th th th th th th
> > ththth...........".
> >
> > "Look" says the beautiful landlady, who loves a bet, "If any one of you
> > can answer a question without stuttering I'll let you sh*g me!"
> >
> > Quite confident that no one will win, she turns to the Englishman.
> >
> > "Where do you live?"
> >
> > "M M M M M M M Man Man Man Man Manch Manch Manch."
> >
> > "No. You lose." says the beautiful landlady.
> >
> > Turning to the Scotsman, she asks, "Where do you live Colin?? trying not
> > to laugh.
> >
> > "E E E E EEd Ed Ed Edin Edin Edin Edin Edin Edin Edinb."
> >
> > "Sorry, you lose." says the gorgeous woman.
> >
> > "And Patrick, where do you live?" she purrs at the Irishman.
> >
> > "London" blurts out the Irishman.
> >
> > "Oh. Bugger!" says the landlady. A great cheer goes up in the pub and
> the
> > landlady reluctantly takes him by the hand and leads him upstairs.
> > Once in the bedroom she strips to her underwear, next she takes off her
> > bra exposing a voluptuous bosom. Finally she slides off her panties then
> > climbs into bed.
> >
> > Paddy with concentration climbs aboard and goes for glory, and then,
> right
> > at the climaxing stroke, he suddenly screams out
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > "...............- D D D D D Derry!"

Saw the second one coming (:eek:), but still liked it.
Alcazar