Just coming out of the local Newsagents minding my own, walking along carrying the evenings dinner (Tescos was closed !) and this Corsa stops and the driver winds his window down, there were 4 teenagers in the car, 2 male (just) and two females. Matey in the drivers seat goes to me,

"Excuse me mate"

I go "Yes" (eager to help with directions as thats the kind of guy I am), then again I was expecting bother but he was so fresh faced and pathetic looking I didnt feel threatened at all.

The he goes, "Are you a, er whats the word......" Dramatic Pause

"GIMP"

He then waits for a reaction, so I ask him if he would care to step out of the car and repeat his question, he says no and I see him fumbling to get it in gear and also trying to gather phelgm in his mouth as he made a couple of 'hocking noises'

having spent years as a kid on school buses I knew what was coming so I pre empted it by letting him have it with the contents of my mouth, as I am doing Atkins and I was hungry I had greedily troffed half a bag of KP Peanuts on the way out of the Newsagents and by now they were fairly well chewed, he got the lot full in the mush, he couldnt quite comprehend what had hit him, as it wasnt what he expected, he will be finding bits of nuts in his hair for hours !

He then just dumped the clutch and squealed off but not before telling me that I was a C*nt, that I may be but I am not the one covered in Peanut Butter.

Good work :D

lol nice one mate :D Glad to see you got the upper hand :)

LOL:D

I'd have followed the cun t and battered him. But that's me and my temper

LOL :)

pmsl :D:D:D:D:D

Finar Finar :D

ROFLMAO :D :D :D :D

Just got a smack from my missus for laughing too loud while Coronation Street is on TV

Bob

Spot-on ----- he must have looked a complete dick to those others in the car!! Brilliant!!

Expect a summons for a new shirt from his lawyers!!

Pete

LAMO! nice one - good to see someone teaching dickheads some lesson :D

Excellent :D

Serves the cnut right.

John

That is well cool :cool:

I bet he cried all the way home to his parents in true 'Kevin' fashion. LOL

UB:D

Muwahaha, funniest thing I've read all day :D

That is fking quality :D

Glad you enjoyed it,

Bet he will never eat another peanut as long as he lives, would have loved him to have got out, I would have fed him the rest of the nuts. My first response was to boot the car but the nut thing was far more enjoyable, trouble is now I will have to watch my back for him and keep at least 2 ounces of masticated nuts in my mouth at all times, imagine if I did it again he would think I secrete Peanut Butter natrually.

TOP :):):)

Hahaha, excellent :D

Rich :D

:D :D

Thats excellent !! LOL

cruise round a la scooby with a big bag of peanuts. if ya see the **** throw them through an open window. Aim for a passenger ;)

Ah........pulling random punters over to give them verbal abuse..........those were the days :D;):D

when my cars ready to go its gunna be drive bys at the leisure park with water guns at all the townies ;)

Saxo Boy, you like Peanuts do ya ?

My next target is that ugly annoying turd in the van that stops on the AA advert when the guy is at the side of the road with his broken motor and says something witty, Grrrrr, HE WILL TASTE MY NUTS !

Good work that man!

I've been living on peanuts since I started atkins :D Water guns were good fun too :D I remember one driveby when I was a youth in the dead of winter (sub-zero) The guy we got must have had a chilly walk home that night ;) My brother once did a guy on a bike (push) as well! He gave chase through the traffic and it turned out he was an off duty cop.....doh :D

Thats made my day that lol nice one!!

Nice one! :D

Classic.

LOL :D

LOL :D