The Wisdom of Peter Kay.......

and every one is true...

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
when
your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
55378008
into a
calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
to
have a
fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a
bouncy
ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your
school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to
call your
teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill
you
at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half
way
through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
piece
of wood
specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip

36) Everytime someone posts something like this on Scoobynet, another person will mention SIAL

SHUT IT :D

LOL :D

They are very true, my favourite is No 30 - its the only time I have ever said cnut infront of my nan.

clippin the door or cupboard does damm hurt

Si

Dunno about standing on a upturned plug in sox...ever tried standing on a Dinky truck ? ouch..that hurts and produces copious amounts of blood !

I've never raced the flush. Am off to drink a pint of water and try it.

Great list. I like the Swan one. :D