Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works

:D:D:D:D

Like the parachuting one.
Last time I did this one of my mates was teaching a class. You know the type of thing where they train for a day then do one jump.
He had a t-shirt on that said "Pull or Die":D
Alas