"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys and kids with fake IDs."

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is
important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!Except the weasel."

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it.
Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's
problems!"

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a
city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed,it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't
Slow Down.'"

"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.'"

"Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as
Yoda."

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my
specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all
the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just
go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name?

We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding,
you're making a scene.'"

Mmmmm.....beer
:D

Not a Homer quote, but one of my favourites.

Grampa Simpson
"Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions." :)

My favourite:

"You see Bart, women are like beer, they look good, they smell good and you would step over your own mother to get one. But you can't just stop at one oh no, you have to drink another woman, and another woman..."

Doh!

If at first you don't succeed.......

Give up.

"save me Jebus"

LOL@jebus

what a classic :D

"O Brother, where art thou?" Though technically it was not said by Homer but writen by him, and yes, I'm being pedantic as this is not Homer J Simpson we're talking about

I think however the best HJS quote would be "mmmmmmm, snouts" :D

Computer: 'To begin press any key'

Homer: 'I can't see the any key'

Classic :D

"Marge what's the number for 911"

Flanders!

"Aw, come on Maggie -- just because I don't care, it doesn't mean I don't understand ..."

"Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"

"MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm......forbiden donut"

"Homer no function beer properly without"

Mmmm....urinal freesshhh
:D:D:D:D

Homer: "There are three ways to do things in life: The right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way."
Bart: "What's the Max Power way"
Homer: "It's the wrong way, only quicker"

Fleeing a country-bumkin village after trying to flog "life tonic"
Grampa: "Aieee, they're gaining on us"
Homer: "..then switch off the damned getaway music !"

"Doughnuts, is there anything they cant do?" :D

"What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them! "

Do a search on Google, there's just so much there.
How to waste a morning, hehehe ;)

Bart: "I work my ass off all day for 5 lousy bucks. I'm done with that, working's for chumps."

Homer: "Son, I'm proud of you, I was twice your age when I worked that out!"