Just seen a link to site that made me smile...
All credits to creator etc, which wasnt me..

EDITED just to clear this up - I DIDNT WRITE THIS - IT WAS ON A WEB SITE I FOUND - I JUST CUT AND PASTED

It is amazing how all these random jips will come up to me going on about how good their driving is. Then when you listen to them for a couple more minutes you realise they aint got a clue. These are the sort of idiots who brake during a corner and will end up facing the wrong way in front of oncoming traffic. Here is a selcetion of things that annoy me and car myths that have to dispelled before you make yourself look any more of a tit than you already are:

1) People who add body kits, spoilers stuck on with glue and exhausts. Sorry but NOPE adding these things will not make your car any faster but will slow it down due to the weight. Also people who take a BMW 3-series 316i and badge it M3 whilst also leaving the 316i badge there. BMW never did this and also BMW only produced 50 E30 for the UK so trying to pretend your 316 is one of them is the stupiddest thing yet.

2) Boy racers who take say an Astra and think they can modify it to beat an EVO . Sorry but NOPE not gonna happen. If you do shell out enough money to make it happen you could have just bought a better car in the first place. plus to make it happen you will have the most harshest understeering car ever.

3) Adding Kenwood and Alpine Stickers to your car. Firtsly the people who do this mostly dont have a good system anyway, but those that do are advertising it to thiefs. Not a good idea but it does crack me up seeing them broken into and they wonder why them.

4) Mercedes 190E drivers who acually believe their car is fast. Sorry but your car is possibly the slowest car on the road. You forget that Mercedes weigh tonnes more than a Nissan Sunny. You can add all the stupid plastic spoilers and AMG wheels in the world and it will never amounto anything but a slow Mercedes. My suggestion is Barabus but if you bought a 190E you probably dont have enough money for them to do anything anyway.
(N.B. I am well aware that some mercedes are fast cars, i am simply dispelling a myth that ALL mercs are fast.)

5) Many people believe they can increase turbo boost with no problems. The problem with this is that if you increase boost for cars that are running on low octane fuel such as the fuel in england then you will cause it to spontaneously combust itself. This gradually destroys the pistons and cylinders and requires an engine-out rebore to fix. You should always know the limitations of your car and yourself as a driver.

6) People who dont have limitations. These people think they can race anyone in any car. I once overheard a guy telling his mates that in his XR2 that he was racing a TVR cerbera. Now firstly why was he trying to race anyone in a jippy XR2 anyway, I will never know but he ended up with his car in the side barriers of a motorway because suprisingly enough he and his car couldnt handle the speed and also couldnt keep up anyway. My advice is this, if you see someone with a don car I suggest you move out of the way before you make a true tit of yourself. Your car cant keep up so dont bother trying, often however:

7) People with don cars like a Porsche 911 Turbo never actually use it properly, instead of thrashing it down the roads they idle around at 65mph on the motorway cruising and showing off their car. Now this for me is a waste if they wanted to cruise they should get a Mercedes S-Class.
(N.B. This is MY opinion of SOME porsche drivers and yes i am jealous they have a porsche and i dont)

8) Some people see a car that they never have heard of or seen and assume it is slow and crap. Or just because it is an estate they assume it will be slow. Well sorry but NOPE the Audi RS-4 comes into mind and has 400BHP to bak it up launching it to 60 in 4.8 sec. Beating any RS Turbo jip in sight and will beat them all day with its Pirelli P-Zero tyres. My advice is this if you see the xenon headlights in the rear view mirror, move, it is either a police car or an Audi on a mission.
(N.B. I am not implying that adding Pirelli P-zeros to a car makes it faster)

9) Poeple who take aesthetics over Performance. I have always much rather wanted a car that can perform over a car that looks good. Most people in the world are the other way around. I would take an RS-4 over a Porsche Boxter and day.
(N.B. Instead should have written I would take a Nissan GTi-R over a BMW Z3, as the boxter has a better chassis)

[Edited by RaZe-=Buzz=- - 11/10/2002 2:28:23 PM]

ahem - what did I write in the first sentence? Anyone care to read it?


See? I just cut and paste.... Agree with most, if not all of the above.


[Edited by RaZe-=Buzz=- - 11/10/2002 2:25:57 PM]

You're certainly going to make many friends with this thread. :D

So what brought all this lot on then??? Chill pill m8, think of your blood pressure.
Have to say I agree with it all though:D:
Alcazar

At least you didn't discriminate against any group in particular!

Audi RS 4 + P Zero's = accident waiting to happen :D

Andy

Hence the not-so-stealth-edit. :D :p

LOL, I wondered how long it would take. People should really learn to read! :D

what can you do apart from state it in huge capital letters in bold, preferably with flame effect background?

Sheesh... :P

Yes Katana, it obviously NEEDED the subtle clue :D

Sheepish mode on: Soz mate! :D:
Alcazar

Alcazar - its the fumes from Corus that do it :D

I agree with all except no 7. Whats the point of razzing the arse off my car - when my only goal in life is to get a mention in the forum 'Was it you?'.

Mind you, once I get it (unlikely) - then I'll return to repmobile motorway speeds.

i agree with each and every word in that little section there.....boys in their fully equipped escorts..........u want a scooby or evo.............buy one!!!!

Who is Barabus anyway ?

Surely he means Brabus, remeber that thread on here where some idiot in an old Golf GTI tried racing a Diablo, hillarious, ooops it was me, she started it, honest, as did the M5 driver who wanted to make a point.

Sounds like some smug t0sser to me with his head up his arse trying to make out that those on a budget shouldnt be allowed to enjoy their motoring and that all modified cars are bad, there are old Escorts etc out there that will be quicker/better handling than an Evo, not man and a lot of poo out there as well but there will always be people who want to create rather than just go to a showroom and hand over cash, some just dont have it, all my car budget went on a people carrier !

1 Bodykits, hmm, whatever floats your boat, if there weren’t any there would be nothing to laugh at.

2) Evo, yeah, Astra maybe not, but then if everybody had Evo’s it would be boring and an Astra would be exclusive and sought after.

3) Adding Kenwood and Alpine Stickers to your car, I am going to put a huuuge

MATSUI or GOODMANS sticker in mine.


4) Merc 190, as owened by blokes in their fifties and sixties who think they have made it, the rest of the world sees an aged 190 in pus yellow with a wonky kit and chrome arches.

5) Boost, you can increase it (a bit) and get away with it

6) People who dont have limitations. Yes I am one of them

7) People with don cars like a Porsche 911 Turbo never actually use it properly, Good job they don’t really, having a car like that usually (apart from footballers) means that you have the intelligence to earn loads of money by being intelligent and use the car when nobody else is a about, its called responsibility.

8) Some people see a car that they never have heard of or seen and assume it is slow and crap. The appeal of a Q car, you got to love it, anyway when I see Xeons I usually cant see anymore anyway.


9) People who take aesthetics over Performance. Same thing applies to members of the opposite sex….

LOL A LOT :D :D :D :D :D