Originally Posted by wez_sti
sounds like German little britain!
"i vant zis one" "Are you sure???" "YA!" "Ok then.." "i dont like zis von!!!" :D |
though my jobs were bad!
though no ONE job was worse than some of these i've probaly had the most Sh1tty jobs. my record length shortest job was one day, i just had to leave, the guy who started the same day as me only laster till lunch-time! involved ringing companys and asking, their address, who the MD was, who the president was, who the finance director was... doesnt sound too bad, but believe me, after the 50th one of asking the same thing, it gets to ya! another was typing word for word from folders and folders of text. explained to the bosses i knew a way of getting the text from another program saving about 4 people, 3 weeks of work but they didnt want to know! |
I've had one.........
A cheese turner!!! :D Basically this involved standing alongside a mesh conveyor belt for 12 hours and picking your row of hamwiches sp??(6 in total), the machine then spills out thousands of the damn things with swint cheese, while these fly pass you have to straighten the cheese on top of the ham before it get covered in breadcrumbs!!! :) Fun and games were had that's for sure, oh the days of being a student. :D |
1. Student working for a food manufacturer one Christmas break.
My first job was to scrub and sterilise over 500 10 gallon plastic containers that had contained raspberries during the rasp season (July:eek: ) this was in December, so imagine the stink and rotting rasps, as the containers had been placed one in another so the rasps stayed wet:eek: It took me three days! It was about 5 years before I could even look at a raspberry without wanting to vomit:(: 2. Minicab driver, Gave it up after I caught a bloke having a w@nk in the back of my cab, just as he was coming everywhere:mad: 3. Labourer on the local steelworks. Spent an entire day, 40 minutes in, 20 minutes out, in plastic overalls, plastic gloves, rubber boots and safety helmet, INSIDE a tank about 2x2x1.4 metres that had conatined oil and sludge. There were also LOADS of heating pipes, delivery and takeoff pipes and a huge ballcock in there so you couldn't kneel and couldn't move without hitting something. You had to squat and it murdered your thigh muscles. It was about 150mm deep in thick sludge and all over the walls, pipes etc. My job was to mop it out with rags which had to be passed up to a mate on top by the manhole, , then wipe everything, then clean it out with rags soaked with white spirit. After 40 minutes in there, you were Zonked out of your skull.:freak3: And all this in about 90 degree heat one August, (1989) I couldn't stop drinking when I got home that night:(: Alcazar |
Originally Posted by andrewdelvard
I'd have to undo his trousers and place his penis in a 'pisspotthing' "Ya zat ist good, ahh"....then dab it with a tissue so he wouldn't stain his white underpants.
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Originally Posted by alcazar
My job was to mop it out with rags which had to be passed up to a mate on top by the manhole
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cleaning portaloos with a jetwash m/c
student job in 1990 lasted 2 days you know when you hose down a car then you hit the spot that blows back in your face use imagination still get the odd bad dream about it richie |
Originally Posted by MattW
Some mate :rolleyes:
Eventually the chargehand sent him home and he never came back. I still remember stepping out of the tank during the afternoon, and swigging from my 3 litre bottle of Coke, while the chargehand said: " I dunno why you bother, kid, it's coming out of you faster than you can put it in" Alcazar |
I was a GIGALO when I was younger ............ its NOT all its cracked up to be! One slip of the tongue and I was always in the sh1t!! :(
Pete |
When i was a oddjob man i got asked to clear a blocked drain so off i went and got a set of CHEAP drain rods
I lifted the man hole to see it full to the top with HUMAN SH!T so i put on my plunger thingy and started roding the drain then it happend SNAP not at the top but right at the bottom three feet under the sh!t after ten minates of running round like a headless chicken i put a bin bag on my hand and in i went with my chin just touching mud for about 5 minutes until i got hold of the snapd rod it was the hardest £50 iv ever had . |
worst ever task was having to clean out the U bends on the urinals as a YTS lad, pubes and all manner of foul smelling goo - big rubber gloves and a paint shop respirator didn't help much.
worst ever "job" was 4 months at a tallow plant installing machinery - tallow is refined animal fat used as a base for cosmetics etc. The machines we were installing were next door to the delivery shed, there was a continous stream of 40 ton wagons dumping offel from abbatoirs and chicken plants, then the big JCB bucket loaders scooped them up and tipped them into the grinders, the smell was unbelieveable and it was winter:eek:. While we were there there was a big breakdown at another factory, so all their offel came to us - there were wagons queing up with rotting cow guts/pigs heads etc that were 4 days older than usual :( Every morning, lads would arrive on site, climb out of the van, turn green and barf on the spot. One guy always used to make me chuckle every time - he would step out of the van, take in a massive breath (chest out-arms back) and declare: " I loooooove the smell of offell in the morning" :D - saying that he was a welder, he also had a strange fascination with serial killers :freak3: |
For me it's picking up stones from the shores of the lakes @ Centre Parcs, Warminster when it was being built.
did it for 2 weeks :eek: |
so there are no
1, turkey pluckers 2, nobody working at old folks homes cleaning arses (i know someone who did it) 3, lollipop-person 4, anything working with kids |
Not really a funny story, but I did work experience for a company I used to buy bits of BBC Micro from regularly as a kid.
Worked in their repair shop, and was told on the first day: We're doing a stock take, so can you count this bucket of assorted resistors. |
Not my most boring, but certainly worst job was many years ago when I was just starting out and desperate for work. I lasted all of 2 hours:
This temp agency sent me to do some cleaning work at a mental institution, and after 5 minutes in there I was terrified!! Locked myself in the cleaning cupboard for a while, then opened the door, and there's about three of them waiting outside the door just staring at me (no disrespect to them, just very very scary when you havent come accross people with these afflictions before). I tried to start doing the cleaning part of my job, and was told knock on each door, if anyones in there, go to the next room. Well, knock on a door, no answer, open it up, and an elderly woman (about 70) steps out the shower, and starts walking towards me!!!! I crapped myself, walked out saying appologiese, but she follows me out into the corridor!! naked!! I ran down the corridor, and hid behind a door, and poor old dear is wondering about the corridor now looking for me. She fell over at one point, and I tried to find a doctor, but its disgusting how uninterested the doctor I found was, told me not to worry, so I eventually found a nurse that gave a damn to help. This is in the first hour and a half, I was then told to go into the dining room, where I watched all of them basically throwing their food about, and Im thinking there's no way im hanging about to clean that up!! Left, called the agency, told them not to bother ever finding me a job again. They tried to convince me to stay a few more hours, but I said no way. I actually took all the clothes I was wearing that day and threw them away, that was one strange day. |
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