Scooby96 Is the man, bang on target.

All this chin up stuff isn't what you need to do. You have to get all that sadness out of your system, because it will only come back to haunt you later on in life and leave you pining for what you once had. And you may have met someone by then.

Treat the next wee while as a grieving (sp?) period, that's really what it is. It's a loss to you. Get it all out in the open, and in a few weeks time (It won't take a few weeks time to get over her, but you will feel a damnsite better than you do now) Go out on Hogmany and get absolutely bolloxed with friends and family :)


Just you take your time toots, you do things at your own pace, you don't have to go out on the pull straight away, or get rat arsed. Just do whatever tickles your fancy!


:)

I know exactly how you are feeling mate, having been there before.

Two things you can do.

- Accept it and move on.

- Fight for her.

I went with option 2, and it worked for me. I got the, I still love you, but I'm not IN love with you line as well. Some of that was down to me losing the way somewhere along the line (due to work/money etc) and missing the whole point of what got us together in the first place.

Sorted my **** out and won her back. Sold house in sticks, bought crazy flat in the city, got mad dog, etc, etc, and started having fun again.

Been great ever since :)

Doesn't work for everyone though. Life is what you make it. If you don't try something, you'll never get over it.

D

But remember that going out on the pull and getting rat arsed are always there for you if you need 'em

:D :D

That sounds like good logic to me eClaire:) It's just a shame that you're probably right :( Lets face it - the next few weeks are gonna last a lifetime. It's just a shame that Christmas is so close :(
I really want to fight for her but if she doesn't want to be fought for, then i am just gonna prelong the agony :(

Brun, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You have my sympathies mate, I am also in that place as we speak. Saxoboy hit the nail on the head too.

What gets me is that they try to make it sound so reasonable and amicable, when you've put your all in, and come out with nowt.

Me ? I wanna rip someone's head off !

Hope I'm not offending any female Scoobynetters, don't mean to tar you all with the same brush, I'm sure there are some genuine lasses out there who give as well as take, though I've yet to find any. If any of them would like to pop round for tea and sh@gging, I'm sure there's a window in my schedule in about 10 seconds time ?

My advice is to get on, and get over it as quickly as possible, though its yet to work for me - easier said than done and all that.

Best regards,

T

Do you mind me asking what age you are Brun? :)

Tell me to bugger off if I am being nosey! :)

26 :)

You could try going on Kilroy ?

289 :
I meant throw out / give back things like her clothes, belongings, gifts, cuddly toys, photos - anything and everything that will stop you suddenly coming across something of hers and plunging back down deeper into despair.

There - see - there WAS a clean answer. ;) :p

Och, yer a wee lamb!

Just you take your time to get over things, everything will fall into place :)

trust me - getting your leg over will do you the power of good

a bit of "come here lass and cop a load of this" and you'll be less inclined to despair at your current plight

I'd say do the opposite of going out getting drunk - drink is ultimately a depressive.

Go to the gym and get strong. Watch some Rocky films for some inspiration. Buy some new clothes. Eat well. Be the best that you can and have some self-respect.

Getting drunk will get you nowhere.

Just my opinion of course :)

Wtf ? getting drunk will get you nowhere. ??

Many a time getting drunk has got me home a damn site easier than if I was sober. no waiting for taxis. no walking. one minute you're drinking away. next you're saying hello to god on the big white telephone at home.

I wouldn't got out and get pissed just yet - you are not ready for that stage and it WILL depress you especially if you sh@g some total random slapper.

My mate has just gone through something similar so he has taken himself of Scuba diving for 6 weeks! Maybe a touch extreme but how about getting away for a couple of days with a couple of close mates and having a proper blast. I understand Amsterdam can be nice this time of year, plenty of distractions;)

:o :confused:Er, was merely correcting grammar in an I've zipped-the-hood-of-my-snorkel-jacket-right-up sort of way rather than implying any unclean thoughts. I'm just off to join Pedants'R'Us ....

I'm now struggling to imagine what it is you thought I was suggesting.

Agree with Saxoboy - get drunk and you will probably be unable to escape the 'melancholy stage' - Butkus has got it right; build up your strength (physically and emotionally), new clothes, and re-discover the self-respect that is buried somewhere inside you.

I personally wouldn't try the 'win her back' option - do you really want to be with someone who is willing to make you feel this way ? Turn your life upside-down to make someone happy ? Thats fine if they are willing to do the same for you, but one sided relationships are doomed to failure. I tried this, and it worked for 18 months, then you end up back where you started, feeling even worse second time around. Believe me, I speak from recent and very bitter experience. And then been criticised for feeling bitter ! WTF ?!?!?!

T

In my experiance the best thing you can do is to make new plans of your own. Look for something different to do with your spare time that envolves a new crowd of people. You may feel you are only filling time to begin with, but once you start to get to know the new people and make friendships you will soon start to move on and see that there is more to life than pining for an ex partner. The only trouble for me is that for now I have to interact with my ex if I want to see my kids.

There's not much chance of getting drunk till the weekend - i work nights :) I took last night off, but managed to look at the ceiling till 1am and then wake at 4am and then drifted in and out of sleep until 9am.
From 9am i have watched MTV and have whitnessed most of the videos 4 or 5 times each. Scoobynet has been on for almost 9 hours and i've looked at a total of about 10 threads including this one.
I have found myself staring into space most of the time thinking about nothing and every now and then it pops right back in there :(

Go for a night out in Wakefield - that should cheer you up ;)

Getting laid ain't going to do it, if you can get a bird to shag you tonight or tomorrow night then she isn't going to be the type to ease the pain - is she now? It NEEDS to be better or as good as your ex to calm the waters - some old slapper is just going to make you want your ex back MORE!!

Have a pint, by all means - even get pi55ed BUT NOT ALONE!!!

Those razor blades should arrive in the morning, use them to slice open a new chapter in your life .... have a good weep, blow your nose and get back out there!! ;)

Pete :D

Wise words Mr Lewis :)
I've just been out to see a mate - it felt good while i was there, but it's horrible coming home. It's nice to see this thread though :) A few interesting comments and many wise words.
I didn't want to air my dirty linen, but it felt like a good idea at the time and i'm glad i did :)
Cheers guys and gals.

Brun,

How are you doing today?

Unfortunatley Brun .... :) just kidding!!

Dude I know it sucks but its good pain....I got a mate who's my age (28) and he's never had any action, ever!! I just split up with a longterm GF of 9 years (yes I'm 28!!) and it hurt like hell...so much so I spent most of my lads holiday thinking about her (DUMBASS!!) but and this is a big BUT (see how big I am!) I would rather have this pain now if it thats what I have to pay for all the good times and fun I had!! I'm in the better position!!

Old saying I know but still its better to have loved......

Its a sh1tter isn't it?

It seems you feel there may be a chance of getting her back, if thats what you want then give it your best shot, if it doesn't happen then you will have to move on, fact.

If its definately over then find out why it didn't work out and learn from it. Mourn the lost love, remember the good times and learn from the bad times.

It took me about 3 months to even think about looking for another, but I have to admit Xmas is a ropey time to be alone and hurting. If your mates do drag you out for many a festive nights on the tiles, and the oppertunity of a p1ssed shag arises then remember that a dog is for Xmas, not for life :)

Good luck, it gets better mate, she'll be a past chapter in your life history before long, the best times are ahead - experience will tell you that mate

LOL @ Jay!!!:D

Christ sake get a life go and fill your car with petrol that will take your mind of things :D

I'm still in a complete state :rolleyes: I was very effective at work lastnight - honest.
I've been trying to work out the reason as to why she does't love me anymore, but i just keep drawing a blank. Only she knows the answer to that, i just hope that i will find out, then maybe i can move on :)

Did you go for the tea and a chat? I hope you didnt as it will make things worse in the long run - if the ex really wants to tell you why she left then she'll contact you. If you pressure her into an explanation then she'll just make up namby pamby bollox just to apease you.

"Jay - oppertunity of a p1ssed shag arises then remember that a dog is for Xmas, not for life"

Classic Jay classic :D