Had some really bad news about my wife :(
#1
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Had some really bad news about my wife :(
My wife Kelly is 28 weeks pregnant. For the last 8 weeks she has had terrible pain in her right hip. We had quite a fight to get anyone to listen to her - it was just assumed the pain was part of the trials of pregnancy.
We basically arrived on the maternity ward last Tuesday and had made it quite clear she wasn't leaving until we had answers.
She had an MRI the next day and on Friday we were told she has a cancerous tumour in her left kidney which has spread to her right hip - hence all the pain.
To say we are devastated is an understatement. Its only been a couple of days since being told and it feels like weeks already.
The Obstetrician didn't want the baby being delivered before 30 weeks and the Professor we have been referred to is out of the country for 10 days so nothing will happen now until the 9th Nov when we will have a meeting with the Prof to discuss the plan. We think it will be to deliver the baby early and then start working on making Kelly better. They said they can't do all the tests they want to whilst she is pregnant.
She's being so strong at the moment its almost a worry that when it really dawns on her how serious this is it will hit her hard. You know when people in this sort of situation say they were waiting to wake up - its completely true. Saturday morning it took a while to realise it wasn't a dream.
I can't say to anyone how scared I am that I'm going to lose her - I think thats why I'm writing this.
We basically arrived on the maternity ward last Tuesday and had made it quite clear she wasn't leaving until we had answers.
She had an MRI the next day and on Friday we were told she has a cancerous tumour in her left kidney which has spread to her right hip - hence all the pain.
To say we are devastated is an understatement. Its only been a couple of days since being told and it feels like weeks already.
The Obstetrician didn't want the baby being delivered before 30 weeks and the Professor we have been referred to is out of the country for 10 days so nothing will happen now until the 9th Nov when we will have a meeting with the Prof to discuss the plan. We think it will be to deliver the baby early and then start working on making Kelly better. They said they can't do all the tests they want to whilst she is pregnant.
She's being so strong at the moment its almost a worry that when it really dawns on her how serious this is it will hit her hard. You know when people in this sort of situation say they were waiting to wake up - its completely true. Saturday morning it took a while to realise it wasn't a dream.
I can't say to anyone how scared I am that I'm going to lose her - I think thats why I'm writing this.
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#8
Cancer has hit our family quite hard over the years, all I can say is be strong and stay positive, easier said than done I know but it helps.
I hope your family get the best care possible and everything turns out well.
Nik.
I hope your family get the best care possible and everything turns out well.
Nik.
#12
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Sad to hear your terrible news. But you have to remember that cancer is not the killer it once was and so much can be done these days. And living with one kidney is a breeze. My heartfelt wishes that all goes well for your wife, baby and you. David
#14
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My thoughts are with you
#17
When I saw the title a shiver went down my spine - I just knew it was something like this.
All I can say is how sorry I am for you both - sending you my thoughts and best wishes.
All I can say is how sorry I am for you both - sending you my thoughts and best wishes.
#18
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So sorry to hear your terrible news. I really do hope everything works out OK for you all, stay strong if you can mate.
#21
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#23
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Really quite shocked to read that Edd, I'm really sorry.
I'm sort of hoping you've got it all mixed up and it's a benign problem of some kind like hydronephrosis etc but somehow I doubt it.
One of my best mates is a kidney cancer specialist and I work with him regularly. Feel free to pm me if you need extra advice on anything and I'll discuss it with him.
I'm sort of hoping you've got it all mixed up and it's a benign problem of some kind like hydronephrosis etc but somehow I doubt it.
One of my best mates is a kidney cancer specialist and I work with him regularly. Feel free to pm me if you need extra advice on anything and I'll discuss it with him.
#25
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Edd, thats terrible news. I too was devastated when told my wife had cancer, it really does knock you for six. I can appreciate you feeling you may lose her but you really do need to stay positive and offer as much support as you can as she is going to need it.
Cancer treatment is very different now from even a few years ago and so much more can be done to beat it. If you have to travel to Cardiff for any treatment please feel free to get in touch if you need a bolthole for a few hours.
Hope all goes well for you all in the future.
Chip
Cancer treatment is very different now from even a few years ago and so much more can be done to beat it. If you have to travel to Cardiff for any treatment please feel free to get in touch if you need a bolthole for a few hours.
Hope all goes well for you all in the future.
Chip
#28
So sorry to hear this really terrible news.
It will probably be suggested by the doctors and you may well be aware of it anyway but something to watch out for on top of the stress of child birth and the mental stress of dealing with the cancer is post-natal depression. On top of everything else it could be wise to consider looking at getting some counselling in place in case you or your family need it. Post natal depression doesn't necessarily just effect the mum, it can effect the dad as well and with the added stresses of the cancer don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help, either from friends, family or a professional.
Not saying i know what your going through and I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I've got a two and half year old daughter so I've got a bit of experience how life is after a baby arriving and my wife's little sister is currently fighting ovarian cancer so seen how cancer can effect people.
Good luck to you all.
It will probably be suggested by the doctors and you may well be aware of it anyway but something to watch out for on top of the stress of child birth and the mental stress of dealing with the cancer is post-natal depression. On top of everything else it could be wise to consider looking at getting some counselling in place in case you or your family need it. Post natal depression doesn't necessarily just effect the mum, it can effect the dad as well and with the added stresses of the cancer don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help, either from friends, family or a professional.
Not saying i know what your going through and I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I've got a two and half year old daughter so I've got a bit of experience how life is after a baby arriving and my wife's little sister is currently fighting ovarian cancer so seen how cancer can effect people.
Good luck to you all.
#29
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Sorry to hear this, Edd.
All I can and would say has been said above. All the absolute best for recovery/safety all round and I'm sending out some positive vibes for you.
All I can and would say has been said above. All the absolute best for recovery/safety all round and I'm sending out some positive vibes for you.
#30
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Edd ... I'm really sorry to hear that news - all has been said and I don't want to simply repeat it ....... but, I will be thinking of you and your wife at this time.
Pete
Pete