j4ckos mate

My daughter (10) and my son(7) are always at each other,

I wouldnt mind but they go to the same school dont argue, its just when they are at home.

My little girl is 10 and is just hitting that "bitchy whatever" age.

My son just winds her up, sits where she was sat stands in front of the telly when she is watching it. she just ends up upstairs watching telly and thats not on we want her downstairs.

We've punished them, done the good cop bad cop, ignored bad praised good, left them to it, nothing seems to work,

I wish i could take them back to when i was kid no heating or washing machine etc.

Yhey dont want for anything, but i wouldnt say they are spoilt,
this monring her hair was in her breakfast bowl, and she said its not, even though it was. she just argues about the slightest thing, it was wet for ffs but she was adamant it wasnt in it

Tonight we will have it again, he wont have his tea because its not what he wants or doesnt like it, so my wife ends up doing 3 teas. its wrong, he should eat it or go hungry, but she panics hes not eating at all so he gets his own way.

sometimes its easier going to work.

has anyone any parenting tips?

davegtt

If you cant beat them, dont have kids

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

I get it all the time.....and this is my biggest worry and fear that I am now the horrible 'shouty dad' that you sometimes see in suppermarkets etc.
I never wanted that job, but somehow my two little ankle biters have managed to turn me into one

My two sons are 8 & 5 and sometimes they play well together and are quite good. The rest of the time they bloody argue, fight, trip each other up, wind each other up to the point of Defcom 2 and it always me that has to intervene.

My g/f has a little daughter of 4 and all three rarely go through a entire day without some form of arguement etc, it is so tiring.
The point is that I remember when my sister and I were kids and we used to be at each others throat constantly so it seems to be an ongoing thing.

I doubt it ever gets any easier until they leave home

stilover

Just leave home.

Set-up with some young 18 year old ****. **** it for a few years till your kids grow up a bit, then move back home.

Buzzer

If he's hungry, he will eat, if not, he wont, he has won the battle with your wife and is the Alpha male over her, he will do it more if you let him. Dont worry, he will get hungry before he dies of malnutrician My kids......... same age gap (19 year old girl and 16 year old lad) are still at it now so learn to deal with it, the only saving grace is that my daughter now drives and spends a lot of time away from the house at college, part time job and mates houses so its bliss . My daughters room is the biggest problem, there are yoghurt pots and cups of "things" with toadstools on under the bed, its just plain disgusting but she chooses to live in it so c'est la vie

I'm a single parent dad and i care for my two 24/7 they dont stay at their mums at all so i get no time off when i'm at home but then they can fend for themselves unless it involves thinking, cleaning, washing, ironing and general slave duties lol.

Not easy J4ckos mate !!!! it gets worse (especially your daughter) sorry to say that to you but i'd be lying if i said anything other. My advice is be strong now and limit the amount of pampering to them or they will "expect" so much when you become drained with it all.

Love and affection is what they need, not burger and chips because they wont eat their salad or veg. Its harder to be tough but its for the best in the long run.

Having said all that my kids are awesome, they have lived with just me for nearly 5 years now, my daughter is in the TA, studying criminology and forensics and holds down a part time job. My son is set to get some really good grades at school next year and is looking towards going to college to study mechanical engineering or construction engineering

jacrobat

Be consistent and work as a team so they cannot play you off each other. Also, have patience and act as adults. Davegtt's suggestion should only be between consenting adults.

MJW

I have the same with my two girls. One is 6 and the other is 17 & they both act like 4 year olds sometimes. Don't do the different meals sketch, mine get what they're given and if they don't eat it they go without, simple as that. There's not a great deal you can do about sibling scrapping, I used to constantly fight with my sister but they all mellow out as time goes by. I only shout at my lot as an absolute last resort, but they can tell when enough is enough as I don't use the 'daddy voice' very often.

j4ckos mate

we dont normally smack them we tell them of point out good and bad, then they are ok for a few minutes, and do the usual stuff that gives you a heart attack, leaving lights, doors open, cupboards open, shoes on the floor, then you pull them up and its back to normal again, fighting over anything, she calls him a pratt under her breath, if he doesnt retaliate he just whines at his mum, (shes not as tough with him as she sould be, thats causes conflicts with me). if i had my time again, id go travelling and working in the summer and live at my parents in the winter and save up. didnt think i would spend all my time stopping petty arguements.

Brun

Trade them in - 10+7 = and brand spanking new 17 year old for you

j4ckos mate

i dont ever remember arguing like that with my sister, she was a pain, but er never taunted each other, sometimes we feel like getting up and walking out

Norman D. Landing

I have twin 6 year old girls (Oh god ....) and I find that threatening them with wearing nappies to school if they act like babies works a treat

Markus

I remember many times when I was younger, being told to eat what I was given, or go hungry. A couple of times I went to bed without having had any dinner, it didn't seem to cause me any problems, plus I did have breakfast the next morning.

Siblings are meant to wind up each other, well, that's my take on it. I wound my brother up, he wound me up. The same was true with my friends and their siblings.

movi-star

iTrader: (1)

As a dad to a 18 month old girl I am expecting some tough times ahead, but I remember as a kid being respectful/scared of adults with loud/boomy voices they put the fear of god in you, the sought when they spoke you listened and obeyed.

My girlfriends dad is a big farmer with a loud commanding voice, and when he tells off the 5 year old lad of his other daughter the little'un complies instantly, whereas with others he will continue to play up. I remember one school teacher with a similar voice, and when he spoke everyone listened/respected.

So I may have to work on the big boomy scary voice. Failing that try and remember what methods you responded to as a kid.

CrisPDuk

Our two have always been pretty good in this respect


My Parents' two on the other hand, must have been a complete nightmare
Me and my Sister were forever in A&E after some fight or other had gone too far

We still argue now, but usually only for a laugh when Mum's around, because even after all these years she still lets it wind her up

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

I used to fight with my brother and sister .. and they with each other. We still argue time to time, but to be honest I would consdier them my best friends .. sad as that sounds

Dedrater

I find throwing it over your shoulder first, then striking down at a 11 degree angle works for best effect.

jk

jacrobat

Yeah that made me laugh. 11 degrees indeed

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

i spend all my time arguing with mine. i say 'whatever' and it pis5es them off

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

I sorted mine out tonight, I said you better sit there playing Call Of Duty 4, eating, crisps, drinking Coke and farting all night or there will be hell to play, don't you dare do any homework, tidy your room or any that malarkey, and they just obeyed, its easy when you have that knack

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

i change the clock so my daughter thinks its bed time, then when she realises her tv is not showing what it should i tell her its because its upstairs and the power is a bit behind up there

Dedrater

God, I bet your kids hate you!

Bubba po

Sounds like there's a power struggle going on because the hierarchy in the family isn't defined. One solution might be to side with the elder child in most disputes, but to ensure that they treat their sibling fairly.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Nah, he isn't to be trifled with, they know who is boss, they just forget occasionally, the young lady is a lovely girl but she has picked up the "Talk to the hand" kind of attitude which doesn't really wash with our man here, wishy washy he isnt !

mbc

same here mate 10 year old and 7 year old constantly bickering and the 2 year old just winges 24/7 all female

drives me fooking nuts but what can you do

i enjoy going to work lately

Bubba po

I don't mean that your mate's dominance is in question, just that the kids don't know who is dominant between themselves. Speaking as a biologist, that is, not a Dad - I only have one sprog.

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

i must be very lucky as i am the boss in this house and everyone knows it

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Ever remember that line in the Office, when Gareth was interrogating people for some obscene picture of Brent "Sucking two blokes off" that had been sent round. Tim said "Its like making the div kid at school milk Monitor"

Don;t know why I thought of that, it just sprang into my mind ?

yoza

My 4 year old Son has just discovered "Crash Bandicoot", he is amazed by it, but he doesnt like actually playing it.

He just likes watching as his Mum plays it, and shouting advice...SPIN, GET THE APPLES, SPLAT THE BOX, JUMP etc....

We limit it to half an hour every other night, but my Mrs is getting a bit pee'd off with it.

I too only like watching as I dont do games, my hand/eye/brain coordination is not up to it. :sad:

However last night whilst my Mrs was at the Gym, I found an excellent substitute....

YouTube... CRASHBANDICOOT 100% every level in video style viewing....excellent.

So I put it on and gave him a playstation controller and he was occupied for half an hour.

We found out early on that he was used to going to bed for a story after "In The Night Garden", so we series linked it, then we just press play when he looks tired, then he takes himself off upstairs for a story.

We can trick him easily into an early night especially during these dark evenings..

Later Yoza

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

i will probably spend the rest of this evening working that out

j4ckos mate

Thanks for the compliment j4cko i think

Its just getting to us a litle having to spend so much and us do without, just for them to argue over who hasnt flushed the toilet. or why the bathroom light is on

today for example is like this..

the day starts with getting them up at 7.30,
i do their breakfast, sallys hair is in it, as she eats it, even though she said it wasnt but it was.
We have to put the bowls in the sink with us being their slaves.


go upto Sams room, looks like hes played paintball in it.

Sally , cant be arsed combing hair( even though my wife is a harsdresser).
so she gets a stern warning about going to school looking scruffy.

it doesnt occur to sam he will need underwear, so he starts shouting
"where they are?"
even though they have only ever been in the same drawer all of his life.
the next half an hour is coaxing them into school uniforms, Sam will stand on the back of his shoes to put them on rather than undo them.
Sally wont be able to find hers, the ****ing cat will constantly meow until it gets something to eat. the ****ing ****

He gets Sally's coat out of the cloakroom, gets no thanks then another row starts.

they get in the car, i open the back gates, wife drives off, with me motioning for them to put belts on.

i got to work . peace and general sense of wellbeing descends.

get a text off andrea saying they are being naughty about 4pm.
this is the worse time she says.

i get in before six,

Sam and his mate do karate tonight so there are knocking 7 bells out of each other, you'd think they were playing "resisting arrest"
Sally is upstairs with his mates sister.

His mate gets bollocked by me for climbing over settee, which ours dont do and i never did.

in a while they will come back from Karate all hyped up we will get them both settled down spend half an hour with them, then send them upto bed.

This will consist of arguing in the bathroom for 20 minutes i will go up an check on them, light will of course be on and the turd fairy will have been and deposited a few turds in the loo. neither will own upto so i will go and talk to them both. still get nowhwere.
i will come downstairs we will both make a drink and their sandwiches for the next day.


it will be around 9.45pm, and we will still be able to hear them messing about,
i shout upstairs "go to sleep". go upstairs and it will be dead sillence. come down stairs and it will carry on,
me and Andrea will have a slight disagreement over why they arent asleep, this will end up in me not getting a legover. And most of the process will be repeated on thursday and friday.




and another thing when Sam is being told off he smiles all the time, its because hes embarressed, but it just looks like "**** you mate"

i wish i had the things they have the opportunites the toys, we had nothing but i think we were alot happier then than they are now.

i just want to come hope and relax, i dont go to the pub or the bookies i judt weant to relax