JoanUK300

We have been put in a situation that means Peters eldest son (25yrs old) will be living with us permanently.....he currently pays his mum £80 per month, but bearing in mind there are three full time wages going into that household. When he moves in with us is it reasonable to keep it at £80, (we only have one full time wage coming into the house and have only recently just moved so the mortgage is at our limit and finding our feet again!)

How much do you other parents expect from your kids and how do we work out how much is 'reasonable'?

Cheers for any advice...
Joan.

imlach

Well, depends where you live, but certainly a room in a flat in a city is £250+bills.

I'd say 50% of that is acceptable. If 25, he'll probably eat you out of £50 of food per week! Depends on his wage too....is he on a good wage?

imlach

You certainly don't want to be running at a loss if he comes to stay. Especially if he's working.

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

i pay £50 a week

daylight robbery, i've only got the whole of the top floor of our (their) house

JoanUK300

Well, yes I would say so....£25k excluding overtime.....which is openly available.
We live in East Herts so cost of living is not much cheaper than London areas, where we moved from.

Also, what do we do about girlfriends staying, we have a 9 year old who has just learnt about Sex Education at school, (bit young I think but who am I to challenge the education system).....and he asks LOTS of questions!!!!!!!!

fitzscoob

im 24 and getting a very very easy ride paying £115 per month

to be fair, my dad is helping me out, as im saving each month to put a deposit down on a house or flat in the not so distant future.....

fitzscoob

no lock on the door, and walk in a lot :P soon put the dampeners on that. otherwise its really a decision for you to make, would you rather that he and his gf met up while you were out, or in the back of his or even your car when he borrows it? :P

imlach

If he's 25 and on £25k+, why does he not want to venture outwith the parental home anyway?????

He may find it a big step, but everyone has to do it sometime!!

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

hope it's not soon for me, that'll be bye-bye scooby if/when my time comes

imlach

Happens to us all mate

By your 30's, you'll be glad you hadn't pi$$ed all your cash away on cars. Property wins hands down over 'flash cars' in the end....

My advice? Ditch the car, and start thinking seriously about a roof over your head.

ScoobywagonGl

I would say £150 a month and he buys his own food!
i used to pay 50 a week to my dad after my mum left. but before she left me and my sis paid £20 a week and did jobs daily apart from sundays!

fitzscoob

to be honest, on his own earning 25k in east herts, he wont get much.... im in the same boat, with me and my gf who is soon to be earning it will still be tough.

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Joan, I just asked my wife how much ours boys pay her and to my amazment, My youngest son who is 19 just about to finish college pays nothing but has a job,but was only earning peanuts, and my eldest son you earns £300 aweek pays £15 a week no wonder I'm poor and can't get a new Scoob
Cheers
Colin

ProperCharlie

my 23 y.o. brother lives with us - bit different to your own (or partners) kid i know, but he pays (ie i demand) £270 pcm off him. he doesn't pay any bills on top of that. it's quite a bit less then i would want for the *two* rooms he has on the top floor; but then i'd rather have him than a stranger in the house (just about... )

and he's only on £16k...

...guess who he works for?

JoanUK300

Colin....time to put your footdown I think.....(big-time) I paid my mum more than that 20years ago and I only earned £60 a week.

ProperCharlie....sorry don`t know who he works for......should I????

My stepson works for Mercedes Benz!!!!!!
Still not sure how to work all this money thing out....
I usually cook far too much anyway so that wont make much difference I hope!!!!!

Joan.

skiddus_markus

£50 a week.See how much he eats/uses phone etc and adjust accordingly.Still getting an easy ride at that.

Stueyb

I used to pay £50 a week and looking back it was a bargain. hot meal every night, washing done and ironed every week, no other bills to speak of..... ah, them were the days !!!

Ray_li

Im 23 still at home and I pay £200 per month and still buy my own food but dont pay any of the bills
When I first started work I told my folks they can have 20% but i still give £200 now
BUT both my folks have moved out and living in Hong Kong. They spend about 2-4 months a year here.

Ray

eClaire

21 and pay £15 a week

Roger WRX

I would take £400 off him per month, £26K is roughly £1600 per month take home. 1/4 his salary and he will soon move out......

Regards,

Roger

Big Col

when I left home 4 years ago I was paying £150 a month.

carl

Well I might be wrong, but I guess ProperCharlie's brother works for ProperCharlie?

ChrisB

I'd agree and disagree

Now I'm on the proper ladder, I can't believe I waited this long whilst I kept Shell in business a couple of times a week.

That said, I have some fantastic memories of going places in my Scoob... Tour d'Ecosse, WRC Rally Catalunya 2002, camping trips in the Lakes & Wales

Driving to Catalunya wasn't the cheapest way of getting there (to say the least) but me and my co-driver decided to do whilst we can.

unclebuck

Memory is selective. Do you remember your monthly credit card bills?

UB

imlach

ChrisB - I agree, but presumably the thread-starter has HAD those memories too. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it in your 20's (after all, I did it too), just have your few years of fun, leave it at that, and get on the property ladder

ChrisB

UB - hmmm, yes, very true

Imlach - spot on (now I'm getting old)

scoobess

I think £250 pm outright no extra for bills (except perhaps phone!) is a very reasonable request you cant rent a flat + bills for that council tax alone round here (north west) is about £100 pm so Im guessing yours is even higher !

I think it is important for him to learn the actual cost of living or as close to it as you can bear to push him.

I earn £10,000 pa & wouldn't think twice about paying £250 pm to my parents if I lived at home, so I think he should be greatful for your hospitality & pay his way.

imlach

He's also having his cake & eating it - he wants to have his girlfriend stay over (who will perhaps eat your food too!).

It strikes me it's time for him to leave the nest. If he wants to live the live of a philanderer/playboy, it's time he got his own place.

Do you really want your young child having to hear all that banging?

lordharding

iTrader: (1)

Interesting comments #

The Misses boy (18 now) is on about £600 take home per month and he starts collage in Sept which will drop himto about £550 per month take home for 3 years and i have never asked him for a penny keep but he has been sensible with his small wage saved up doesnt get legless every weekend (unlike me) and has bought himself a nealy new car and has just bought himself alloys/bodykit .

I have always said if he doesnt waste his money I wont charge him rent as im doing what i did myself 20 years ago and i had my first house /investment at 19

Life is hard and expensive now for youngsters at 18 so I havent asked for keep

am i too soft ?

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Lordharding, Yeah you and me both mate