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Babies funeral tomorrow.

Old 18 December 2018, 09:40 PM
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RobsyUK
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Default Babies funeral tomorrow.

2wks ago a friends son passed away.
Jude was 8wks old and I believe in hospital at the time.

We hadnít seen him due to giving them time for their family to see him but we planned to shortly before Christmas to drop a gift off for him.

We donít know what happened or was planning on seeing them (until this Thursday) to give them space but tonight my friends wife asked my wife if we were coming to the funeral.

It was the first we had heard of it but it turned out Wayne was texting my old work number and never got a reply.

Of course we will go, to support and say good bye but for a second I wondered if it would have been easier to have stayed at home.

Iíve seen tiny coffins in hursts and although not directly effected felt something for the family.

Iíve seen on tv or read of people loosing children but never has it been someone in my circle, someone so close.

to say Iím bricking it is an understatement. In a way Iím glad we only found out about the invite tonight as Iím not sure I would have concerntrated on things as much as Iíve needed to. I feel itís hitting me harder then it should and should it considering Iíve only seen pictures of him.

I wanted to post this just to get it out. One thing is for certain. My 1yr old & 3yr old get tighter cuddles and more frequent checks during the night now.
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Old 19 December 2018, 01:10 AM
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I hear where you are coming from. It's terrifying. I've got a wee 16 month old, myself, now and things like this hit home. Losing a child is unimaginable.

A friend of mine had a funeral for their stillborn baby some years ago. Seeing a big guy up there speaking at the funeral, struggling to hold back the tears was gut wrenching.

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Old 19 December 2018, 06:25 AM
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A parents worst nightmare for sure .. 8 weeks mean no one else has had any time to bond with the child so you're literally alone with their memories and the hurt.

I can't even imagine what your friends are going through and it makes me wonder if life is worth that kind of pain .. I'm not religious but I believe there is a positivity that can be shared so for what it's worth I'm thinking about you and yours mate .. good luck today and make sure you take time to let yourself feel sad.. this is about them, but it's going to be very difficult for you too.
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Old 19 December 2018, 07:07 PM
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I have 4 kids my youngest is 21 months
it is my deepest fear no parent should have to bury a child
i could not even try to imagine the pain those Poor parents are going though it probally will never leave them
atb at the funeral all you can do is be there for them
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Old 19 December 2018, 07:42 PM
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Me and my partner lost our first child at four months old. Surely the most difficult thing any parent could ever go through. Unfortunately nothing you can say will make them feel any better. The best thing you can do is be someone who is there, someone who listens and someone to have a beer with. My other half done a lot of charity work, which kept her occupied and gave her mind a break from the whyís and the what ifs. Time does heal, but itís not something you ever really get over. Itís been 10 years now, and we have two more children, but I donít think weíll ever really stop grieving. Itís a time when you really find out who you friends are, so just be a true friend and be there.
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Old 19 December 2018, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Willowsdad View Post
Me and my partner lost our first child at four months old. Surely the most difficult thing any parent could ever go through. Unfortunately nothing you can say will make them feel any better. The best thing you can do is be someone who is there, someone who listens and someone to have a beer with. My other half done a lot of charity work, which kept her occupied and gave her mind a break from the whyís and the what ifs. Time does heal, but itís not something you ever really get over. Itís been 10 years now, and we have two more children, but I donít think weíll ever really stop grieving. Itís a time when you really find out who you friends are, so just be a true friend and be there.
very sorry for your loss brother
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Old 19 December 2018, 09:12 PM
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What a cruel world.
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Old 20 December 2018, 09:37 AM
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Sorry to hear this. I can relate to what you're feeling. I had a friend who also lost her baby. I hadn't realised it was so serious and had further issues she'd not told anyone outside of the direct family about. Even though I'd never met her, it still left me feeling total shock and emptiness for them. Horrible times indeed.

As a parent myself it's just your worst nightmare and really puts life into perspective.
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Old 20 December 2018, 10:14 AM
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A life cut short is the worst kind of funeral, particularly of a child. I go with the mindset that I'm there to support the family, give them huge hugs, say little (what can be said?) Keep in touch afterwards too. I'll never forget my Mum's pain when my sister died. So sorry to hear these sad stories.
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Old 20 December 2018, 06:57 PM
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It was truly horrible.
loosing my dog I thought was the worst pain in the world but seeing Judes mum and dad carry this tiny coffin to the stand hit me so hard.
Itís normally 6 big men carrying a large coffin.

I really didnít think I would be effected as bad as I was but my god I was a mess.

I was curious to how the service would go as he isnít religious and I always assumed funerals were about god etc.
The man doing the service did probably the best service I have ever seen.
explaining that some believe in a god, others believe god is in the heart and others well, thereís others.

the only off putting thing for me was the way thereís a list of every service at 45minute intervals and I felt you were ushered along - in the garden there was another family looking at their ceremonies flowers that had just happened that we had to walk past.

They then released balloons which to me is a massive no no after seeing several horses & other wild life tied up in the pollution left by them.

luckily I wasnít asked to release one as I donít know if I would have.

I do find the world works in messed up ways in that an 8wk old doesnít get a chance yet a murdering rapist eacapes a fireball car crash to continue their evil ways.
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Old 21 December 2018, 08:38 PM
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I apologise for repeating but life and the world can be very cruel sadly and it just never makes sense when something like this happens and i just do not know the answer to the pain,sorry.
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