2wks ago a friends son passed away.
Jude was 8wks old and I believe in hospital at the time.

We hadn’t seen him due to giving them time for their family to see him but we planned to shortly before Christmas to drop a gift off for him.

We don’t know what happened or was planning on seeing them (until this Thursday) to give them space but tonight my friends wife asked my wife if we were coming to the funeral.

It was the first we had heard of it but it turned out Wayne was texting my old work number and never got a reply.

Of course we will go, to support and say good bye but for a second I wondered if it would have been easier to have stayed at home.

I’ve seen tiny coffins in hursts and although not directly effected felt something for the family.

I’ve seen on tv or read of people loosing children but never has it been someone in my circle, someone so close.

to say I’m bricking it is an understatement. In a way I’m glad we only found out about the invite tonight as I’m not sure I would have concerntrated on things as much as I’ve needed to. I feel it’s hitting me harder then it should and should it considering I’ve only seen pictures of him.

I wanted to post this just to get it out. One thing is for certain. My 1yr old & 3yr old get tighter cuddles and more frequent checks during the night now.

I have 4 kids my youngest is 21 months
it is my deepest fear no parent should have to bury a child
i could not even try to imagine the pain those Poor parents are going though it probally will never leave them
atb at the funeral all you can do is be there for them

Me and my partner lost our first child at four months old. Surely the most difficult thing any parent could ever go through. Unfortunately nothing you can say will make them feel any better. The best thing you can do is be someone who is there, someone who listens and someone to have a beer with. My other half done a lot of charity work, which kept her occupied and gave her mind a break from the why’s and the what ifs. Time does heal, but it’s not something you ever really get over. It’s been 10 years now, and we have two more children, but I don’t think we’ll ever really stop grieving. It’s a time when you really find out who you friends are, so just be a true friend and be there.

very sorry for your loss brother

It was truly horrible.
loosing my dog I thought was the worst pain in the world but seeing Judes mum and dad carry this tiny coffin to the stand hit me so hard.
It’s normally 6 big men carrying a large coffin.

I really didn’t think I would be effected as bad as I was but my god I was a mess.

I was curious to how the service would go as he isn’t religious and I always assumed funerals were about god etc.
The man doing the service did probably the best service I have ever seen.
explaining that some believe in a god, others believe god is in the heart and others well, there’s others.

the only off putting thing for me was the way there’s a list of every service at 45minute intervals and I felt you were ushered along - in the garden there was another family looking at their ceremonies flowers that had just happened that we had to walk past.

They then released balloons which to me is a massive no no after seeing several horses & other wild life tied up in the pollution left by them.

luckily I wasn’t asked to release one as I don’t know if I would have.

I do find the world works in messed up ways in that an 8wk old doesn’t get a chance yet a murdering rapist eacapes a fireball car crash to continue their evil ways.