RobsyUK

iTrader: (2)

I have a 2yr old and a 6 month old and when ever my wife’s parents come around they will bring them a present.
At first it bothered me as they would spend hundreds (literally hundreds) and I would say don’t waste your money, being babies it really was / is wasted but my wife said as it’s not our money why worry about it.

I thought fair enough and let them waste it.

Today his grandad turned up with a balance bike and it really peed me off to be honest.

Oh and naturally I’d wait until he was at least 13 before getting a B.B. gun.

I always wanted to buy Cooper his first bike, to watch him ask for it and then to see his face light up as he unwraps it. But now I feel that moment has been taken away from me.

My wife doesn’t get why it’s annoyed me so much. She replied with “does it matter who got him one, and I thought you were not going to worry about what they buy him anymore?”

I think because we had previously discussed that we don’t see the point of buying him a balancing bike and will go straight for a real bike with stabilisers that she thinks it’s different.

To me a bike is a bike and it’s annoyed me.

Am I being stupid?

He’s done a similar thing before where I said I can’t wait to buy him a BB gun to shoot targets etc. Few days later he turns up with a Nurf gun. Being 2yrs old he can’t pull the trigger or load it and in fairness it didn’t bother me as much as the bike.
Trying to say it’s like her mum buying our daughter her wedding dress but I don’t know if that feels the same.

She said she will say something but what can she say? Ask us before buying anything?

CharlySkunkWeed

iTrader: (7)

I think you've got a point. I personally am old school , a provider. If that's taken away you almost feel useless. Suppose you could teach the kids to use the bike but it'll always be the bike "granda got". I imagine though it only bothers you , the kids will be oblivious!
just start telling the kids you bought all the cool stuff , everyone will get the hint .

a good way round it would be to ask them to give you the money to buy what you think the kids want. They still get to treat the grandchildren but you get the joy of presenting the thing.

Tidgy

spoilt brat alert!

Bring presents every time will only make them expect it and turn them into a spoilt brat.

Dingdongler

Let the kids enjoy being spoilt by the grandparents.

Thermalp4

iTrader: (3)

johned

You are in a tricky position,good luck, but at least the grandparents are interested in the children.

RobsyUK

iTrader: (2)

The granddad never had anything as a child and wants to give them what he didn’t so always treats them. Don’t get me wrong they don’t come around often but when they do they treat them.
Sometimes it’s boring stuff like clothes but Cooper is always thankful.

hedgecutter

iTrader: (5)

Ditto that`s a tricky one, I completely understand your feelings. Father in law needs to communicate with you a bit better rather than marching on in, but then again, as above, many kids never have grandparents.

DTB

More tricky now because it's something that would have been better nipped right in the bud. I do empathise because I had a similar situation but it involved my mother. It's not a case of preventing a grandparent buying stuff, it's about asking to be respected as a parent. In my case I asked that 'visiting' gifts were small and consumable (not edible, I mean things that didn't accumulate and clutter the place up), and I asked that birthday and christmas presents were cleared with us first - specifically to avoid the very scenario you described with the bike.

There's no need for animosity but you and your wife should be respected as parents, and ultimately have the power of veto.

BlkKnight

You as parents have the right to veto any gift (as already said).

I also can see your point re being first bike - but think he'll not remember who bought it for him - but who taught him how to ride it.

Balance bikes do make the learning to ride process much easier btw. Don't even need stabilisers at all on the bigger bikes when transitioning - stabilisers actually makes it harder.

joz8968

iTrader: (13)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6c72h0

njkmrs

Ask them politely to buy premium bonds instead as a nest egg for the kid.
Saving for the kids future needs etc instead of wasted on not really needed gifts.

gazzawrx

iTrader: (11)

Let the grandparents spend their money if they want, at least then you can spend yours on your car, beer and fuel