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Women are never happy, you can't win.

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Old 13 September 2017, 04:09 PM   #1
The Joshua Tree
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Default Women are never happy, you can't win.

Each year when i go to book our holidays the other half says i have no imagination, she basically says we go to the same places all the time, places which she loves i might add. This year she said can't you surprise me for once, lets go somewhere that's different, somewhere that not everyone else chooses to go too and won't be full of tourists and won't be over crowded.

I said ok, leave it with me. Anyway we was having a meal the other night and she said had i thought of anywhere yet, i said now you come to mention it i have. She said "where then" ? I said North Korea, it's full of history, it won't be full of tourists like she wanted and it's somewhere different like she wanted.

**** me she went ballistic, you can't win with em.
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Old 13 September 2017, 05:35 PM   #2
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That made my day you funny guy
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Old 13 September 2017, 06:18 PM   #3
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Take her to Syria, hopefully she'll get shot, the miserable bitch
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Old 13 September 2017, 06:20 PM   #4
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Females can be proper screwy......and that's being polite!

The cranks.

Last edited by joz8968; 13 September 2017 at 06:21 PM.
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Old 13 September 2017, 06:53 PM   #5
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**** me she went ballistic, you can't win with em.
She will have no trouble getting in.They like that sort of thing!!!
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Old 13 September 2017, 07:52 PM   #6
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That woooorks.
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Old 13 September 2017, 10:20 PM   #7
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Could try a naturist break, not many people, somewhere different (i assume?) and she wont need to buy a new wardrobe of clothes
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Old 13 September 2017, 10:50 PM   #8
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Is she called Kim by any chance?


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Old 14 September 2017, 03:49 AM   #9
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Ri, more like. (Kim Jong-un's wife).
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Old 15 September 2017, 10:08 PM   #10
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Don't know why girls think blindingly white teeth and an orange hue is attractive. Never mentioned it to any of them though!
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Old 15 September 2017, 10:29 PM   #11
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...Nor would I say that their duck face pout looks like a cat's arsehole!
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Old 15 September 2017, 11:16 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ALi-B View Post
...Nor would I say that their duck face pout looks like a cat's arsehole!
Good observation


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Old 16 September 2017, 02:43 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ALi-B
...Nor would I say that their duck face pout looks like a cat's arsehole!

Duck faces look like they have Botox'd lips........on top of their already Botox'd lips!
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Old 18 September 2017, 04:17 PM   #14
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You boys need to ditch your ladies and go back to [email protected] - each other
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Old 18 September 2017, 10:27 PM   #15
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Errr.why?.lol
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Old 19 September 2017, 07:35 AM   #16
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You men need to ditch your bitches and go back to [email protected] much more satisfying

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Old 19 September 2017, 04:25 PM   #17
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A friend of mine says he's been getting on great with his wife this past week. Not one single argument.
He had no idea she was giving him the "silent treatment".
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Old 19 September 2017, 06:44 PM   #18
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Why have women got two sets of lips...........
So they can **** and moan at the same time
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Old 19 September 2017, 09:15 PM   #19
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Why is a woman like a washing machine..........


Because they both leak when they are ****ed
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Old 19 September 2017, 09:54 PM   #20
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I have had 10 very happy years with my wife but it`s just a pity that we have been married 40 years.
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Old 20 September 2017, 07:40 AM   #21
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I have had 10 very happy years with my wife but it`s just a pity that we have been married 40 years.
Mmm.... 10years beginning or near the end
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Old 20 September 2017, 09:04 AM   #22
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Mmm.... 10years beginning or near the end
That will be when he's asleep

Because sleep is the only thing that you get in the bedroom once you've married

Last edited by Steve001; 20 September 2017 at 09:08 AM.
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Old 20 September 2017, 12:16 PM   #23
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My wife is so lazy.
I can never get to pee in the sink nowadays, because its always full of dirty dishes.
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Old 20 September 2017, 05:28 PM   #24
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That will be when he's asleep

Because sleep is the only thing that you get in the bedroom once you've married

I know a man who does cheap viagra
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Old 20 September 2017, 06:53 PM   #25
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Quote:
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I know a man who does cheap viagra
cheap viagra, keeps you up all night for the wrong reasons.

Making love with the wife is a bit of a lottery, you have to be in IT to win it. Unfortunately, like the euro millions the odds are stacked against me
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Old 20 September 2017, 08:55 PM   #26
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Quote:
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... She said "where then" ? I said North Korea, it's full of history, it won't be full of tourists like she wanted and it's somewhere different like she wanted.
You'd better get her out there pretty quick 'cos I've just heard some guy from the USA is planning to flatten the place.
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