Office/Manager jargon speech.
08 December 2014, 01:58 PM
#1
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Office/Manager jargon speech.
Someone on here either wrote or had a complete speech made up from office/manager jargon. I have tried searching for it but not had any luck, does anyone know what I am refering to and have a copy of it?
Cheers
Cheers
08 December 2014, 02:24 PM
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Amazing how valued clear, no nonsense communication is these days.
So in a way, these marketing speak goons keep us in work - long may it live
08 December 2014, 02:46 PM
#7
Make sure "lessons learnt" is used constantly when the **** hits the fan, but no one has an explanation or solution for the feckup.
Bloody americoonts they are indeed to blame for most of these ridiculous phrases and it boils my fecking p1ss.
Bloody americoonts they are indeed to blame for most of these ridiculous phrases and it boils my fecking p1ss.
Last edited by bioforger; 08 December 2014 at 03:37 PM.
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08 December 2014, 04:41 PM
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'...........we will be exploring every possible avenue & investigating the best possible alternative solutions at the earliest opportunity.'
i.e. We don't care & we wont be doing anything about it.
i.e. We don't care & we wont be doing anything about it.
10 December 2014, 08:35 AM
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We have a Chief Inspector who regularly sends out emails full of this arty management drivel, one was some new patrol instructions that when printed off was 4 pages of A4 in length,
In summery the entire email translated into "There's a lot more push bike crime going on at the moment, the public and local businesses are upset, stop anyone you see on a bike and check if it's stolen, then lock 'em up if they are"
In summery the entire email translated into "There's a lot more push bike crime going on at the moment, the public and local businesses are upset, stop anyone you see on a bike and check if it's stolen, then lock 'em up if they are"
11 December 2014, 08:19 PM
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11 December 2014, 08:37 PM
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"It's about..."
Used all the time and it drives me nuts.
"It's about style, innovation, etc."
A lame excuse for failing to have the imagination to describe anything properly.
Used all the time and it drives me nuts.
"It's about style, innovation, etc."
A lame excuse for failing to have the imagination to describe anything properly.
11 December 2014, 09:30 PM
#24
Jesus christ, now we have this little gem,
Excellence (that stopped in the modern office about 10yrs ago)
Respect (ha!, like you respect your employees when mass redundancies are required when the profits drop 1%)
Integrity (lol)
Contribution (yea i'll do my job if you pay me what i deserve, otherwise **** off)
Yes the acronym is "ERIC", and fecking ERIC awards, get to ****! What a load of bollocks
Excellence (that stopped in the modern office about 10yrs ago)
Respect (ha!, like you respect your employees when mass redundancies are required when the profits drop 1%)
Integrity (lol)
Contribution (yea i'll do my job if you pay me what i deserve, otherwise **** off)
Yes the acronym is "ERIC", and fecking ERIC awards, get to ****! What a load of bollocks
12 December 2014, 01:10 AM
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Jesus christ, now we have this little gem,
Excellence (that stopped in the modern office about 10yrs ago)
Respect (ha!, like you respect your employees when mass redundancies are required when the profits drop 1%)
Integrity (lol)
Contribution (yea i'll do my job if you pay me what i deserve, otherwise **** off)
Yes the acronym is "ERIC", and fecking ERIC awards, get to ****! What a load of bollocks
Excellence (that stopped in the modern office about 10yrs ago)
Respect (ha!, like you respect your employees when mass redundancies are required when the profits drop 1%)
Integrity (lol)
Contribution (yea i'll do my job if you pay me what i deserve, otherwise **** off)
Yes the acronym is "ERIC", and fecking ERIC awards, get to ****! What a load of bollocks
12 December 2014, 02:00 AM
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13 December 2014, 01:47 PM
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I do remember asking one of the manger types what "low hanging fruit" meant, after a meeting where they mentioned it three times, as I was curious to see if they could articulate it in a better, ie; non-buzz word, way.
They blathered on for a bit and I interjected with "so, what you really mean is 'things that require low effort to achieve should be something we prioritize?'"
When they agreed, I did gently ask why they did not just use plain english, as some of the young members of the team (co-ops, typically 18 ish and their first time in the big real work world) might not understand the terminology being used, and would not ask, for fear of seeming foolish / questioning a superior. "Oh, ah, yes, good point" was the reply.
I really do loathe it when people use this type of language, I don't think it's needed and I'd rather have a longer worded statement, free of this type of crap, but making it crystal clear as to what is being stated and / or asked.
They blathered on for a bit and I interjected with "so, what you really mean is 'things that require low effort to achieve should be something we prioritize?'"
When they agreed, I did gently ask why they did not just use plain english, as some of the young members of the team (co-ops, typically 18 ish and their first time in the big real work world) might not understand the terminology being used, and would not ask, for fear of seeming foolish / questioning a superior. "Oh, ah, yes, good point" was the reply.
I really do loathe it when people use this type of language, I don't think it's needed and I'd rather have a longer worded statement, free of this type of crap, but making it crystal clear as to what is being stated and / or asked.