Two women are chatting in the office.
Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?
Woman 2: Yes.
Woman 1: Was it good?
Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour – and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light f*cking candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

 

Yes I did have a **** last night, and will have one again tonight

 

This morning before work. Maybe later too.

 

two during the day yesterday, I politely declined the offer in the evening and one today with an option on the second later, dont know what she is after !

 

ain't had it at all this year yet!

 

Stayed up till 6am Sunday morning "doin it" but whatever I had Saturday night hasn't agreed with me and felt a bit dicky for the last couple of days so no.

 

are you a rabbit

 

Sheep are easy to catch when penned up

 

Just so you know,it dosen't count if your on your own.

 

He doesn't even need to catch them, he wears fishing wellies to slip the sheep's rear legs into, so the poor hairy ******* can't escape within the pen

 

I suppose you are going to say the same about the mile high club?

 

...... A baby?

 

Some of those flights are soooooooo long!!

 

Well the Vasectomy would make that one a Long Shot, as would the Strap-On

 

That was wicked just told me wife she liked it also im husband number 1 lolol but not 5 minutes thats way to longggg lolol

 

Did you wake her after

 

No, just gave her a wipe down, deflated her and put her back in the cupboard....

 

i dont think the question was quite literal !

 

Oh well, who knows then?

Who's the strap on for?

As for a man cleaning up after himself, yeah right!

 

You lot cant be maried

 

i'm married but when i got home earlier the wife was gagging for it, waited till the kids went to bed and lets just say i haven't been on here that long now.

 

That's so wrong.

It's the front legs - you have to kiss the little darling first.



Oh sex, I did last night, of sorts; didn't finish though as the wife walked in halfway through.

 

Comedy gold chaps.

All night sessions when the nipper is at grans is what married life is all about is it not?

 

Made me laugh!

Les

 

Not when grandma drops the little bleeders back at 8.30!!!!

 

That certainly doesn't help!

We usually take her to one of the local indoor climbing frame places and mong on the comfy sofas.

 

Haha, loving how you have it all figured out.

 

Yes ... a whole nights sleep. Bliss

Steve

 

got a text earlier that may seem tonight is my lucky night

 

She's letting you order a take away rather than cooking your meal?