1. Roy is 78 yards away from the referee at Old Trafford. David is 65 yards away and Gary 37 yards away. If Roy can run at 21 mph, David at 16mph, and Gary at 6mph, who will be sticking their vein bulging forehead into the ref's face first, assuming Roy does not stop to decapitate an opponent on the way?

2. If one minute of injury time is taken up in a game for substitutions, and one minute for injuries, how much injury time will be added on by the referee if Man Utd are losing at home?

3. Ryan is a Welshman. Express as a percentage the number of friendly Internationals he has missed on a Wednesday evening compared to the miraculous recoveries he has made for the following Saturday when United are back in action

4. Man Utd are the giants of world football. How many more European Cup finals have they appeared in than Steaua Bucharest?

5. Phil Neville has 37 international caps. If you take away the number of appearances when he was the only adult male in England who could just about kick the ball with his left foot, how many are left?

6. You are the referee at Old Trafford. How near to a visiting defender does Ruud van Kneestillsore need to be to earn a penalty if he goes down in the box? Round your answers down to the nearest 20 yards.

7. Alex and 30,000 of his friends had hotel rooms booked in Glasgow for 15th May 2002. How many chickens were counted before they were hatched?

8. Quinton is a non-EU national and needs to play in 70% of games to keep his work permit. Since 1999, he has played 43 games out of a possible 185. Express as a percentage the number of games he has missed, and explain why he has not yet been deported!

 

Got half way through the first and can't be @rsed to read the rest of the ABU sh1te!

 

Cmon - where's your sense of humour...

 

I left it at home when I came to work this morning. Will have a look for it when I get home!

 

I love these posts

I translate each paragraph into what it really says

"I'm posting this because I'm jealous of Manchester United. I know that they are better than the team I support so I'll take as many cheap shots at them as possible"

Each post is a compliment to Fergies boys

 

A compliment for what? Who on earth could be jealous of that egotisical bunch of ******'*

Every player should have their mugs on ugly.com

Man U must surely qualify for the Ugliest Team award by a country mile

 

Scraping the barrel a bit now Redkop

Your comment may be quite true mind. Although it is true that David Beckham does very well to make millions by using his ugly mug to promote various fashion items.

 

Thats always been an enigma to me - I don't find anything about him fanciable at all, in fact I think he is revolting
Perhaps I have better taste

 

I can always rely on you two guys (STI and Swin) for a reaction!!

I thought it was funny as I got it on email and only posted as a bit of humour, but for some reason it always hits your nerves.

You guys need to relax, too much stress is not good.

 

that was quite funny ash. it does of course play on all that is dislikeable about utd but even you reds have got to agree there is some truth in it.

it is my prediction that city will get two featured games on ITV's 'the premiership' this season. one at home against the red b*stards...........and one away against the red b*stards.

we need to stop this pathetic media **** licking before any more airheads start supporting the rags especially when other teams in the league play more attractive football.

 

Oh look, it's Kippax entering the thread to put his tuppence worth in. Quite surprisingly he's joined Ash and Redkop's corner!

Let's see - Any bitterness here - Two Scousers and a Ciddy fan? Hmmm...

 

Hardly surprising that he is in our corner - we are nice people

 

I am a Villa fan and bitter about fecking EVERYTHING.

Lynne, I agree about Beckham, he is an ugly ******.

 

ash,

notice the I know it was meant in jest. I was just trying to wind you up in return........looks like it worked

 

Yes I can see your smilie on all your posts (NOT) and nice try and the reverse windup - I really fell for that didn't I.

 

OK here goes, Ive heard the prize is a Liverpool season ticket or a car radio ripped out of the motor of your choice

1: None, the ref saw Keano coming shat his pants and is half way up the East Lancs Road

2. Fergie will advise the 4th official once enough time has been played.

3. Every one knows this is a trick question, Wednesdays are sheep ******** nights, Ryan is out on a date in Leeds.

4. Man Utd are the giants of world football. reflects for a moment, true, what was the rest of the question?

5. Phil Neville, hold on the name rings a bell, no its gone

6. The ref didnt see it he was down the road after Q1

7. None, it was Cardiff

8. Obvious, he plays for Utd the rules dont apply


More quizes please

Dave

 

Funkii, I'm afraid you failed and will have to resit.

 

Bollox

Gimme that radio

 

Lol @ Funkii. Swin and Sti - you guys need to stop biting so easily and join in with the humour

Just to make you both smile here is what happened last time we had a scouser working in our office:



Simon.

 

Groan

 

Can't be right - the mouse mat is still there !!

Whats with two bins? bit posh, was asking for it IMO

 

Well scousers aint too clever, they knicked the PC but left the mouse mat.