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Whats best way to annoy a neighbour-legally???

Old 18 August 2010, 10:33 PM
  #31  
belliott69
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the old trick is still one of the best, get some ****, put it in a bag, set light to it on his doorstep and film him stamping on it, new skool happy slap style.
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Old 19 August 2010, 07:30 AM
  #32  
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where is astraboy when you need him
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Old 19 August 2010, 09:20 AM
  #33  
Leslie
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**** on his foot.

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Old 19 August 2010, 09:22 AM
  #34  
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Again, what has he done?
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Old 19 August 2010, 09:29 AM
  #35  
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Probably not a great deal.... maybe complained about an all night party or the like. Neighbours can be a nightmare, not necessarily the obvious ones... but also the "cliquey" ones that hold street/house parties and if you say the wrong thing to one of them they all start to cop the hump

I lived in a street once, just once and got fed up of "Hi DCI, we're having a party... bring some food and drink as Bob from no. 11 is going to play some Country & Western tunes on his acoustic guitar!".....

No, I didn't go .... but all I could hear was a retarded night of badly played western themes (the good, the bad & the ugly etc.)

I moved soon after, to Hunt Halls
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Old 19 August 2010, 10:33 AM
  #36  
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Do you mainlanders actually have relations with your neighbours? Ive lived on this street for 5years and I only talk to my neighbours on 2 occasions 1. Across the garden fence (Home Improvements style) and 2. when getting in/out of the car!
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Old 19 August 2010, 12:02 PM
  #37  
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We have always found it to be an advantage to be on good terms with the neighbours. People help each other that way and surely it is to nobody's advantage to be churlish about it. Depends on the neighbours I suppose, we have always been lucky enough to have pleasant ones.

Les
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Old 19 August 2010, 12:11 PM
  #38  
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I suppose a few business cards with "Personal Services" with his phone number on and scattered around the area wouldn't do any harm?

Or pour some water on the road outside his house and phone the water board and say you have seen a leak!

dl
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Old 19 August 2010, 12:19 PM
  #39  
bigsinky
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Originally Posted by Jamz3k View Post
Do you mainlanders actually have relations with your neighbours? Ive lived on this street for 5years and I only talk to my neighbours on 2 occasions 1. Across the garden fence (Home Improvements style) and 2. when getting in/out of the car!
That's because you're a miserable cvnt
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Old 19 August 2010, 12:59 PM
  #40  
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I was trying to say that politely!

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Old 19 August 2010, 01:18 PM
  #41  
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Here I'm not miserable! oh wait maybe I am!

I'm alright with my neighbours, they are all a gen or three older than me so I'm respectful and polite but just like my work colleagues, they are there due to circumstance and are not drinking partners/friends.
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Old 19 August 2010, 01:26 PM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by Jamz3k View Post
Do you mainlanders actually have relations with your neighbours? Ive lived on this street for 5years and I only talk to my neighbours on 2 occasions 1. Across the garden fence (Home Improvements style) and 2. when getting in/out of the car!

+1 i dont bother with my neighbours its far too much hastle, sure theyre all swingers or sumthing, they all seem to congregate at certain times of the month normally late at night.
besides you have a scooby, a blitz nur spec should be sufficient to annoy him
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Old 19 August 2010, 01:32 PM
  #43  
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Squeeze superglue in his lock ....

Grab a bitch on heat and tie it to a tree in front of his house ....

Put a dead bird on the front of his car radiator ....
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Old 19 August 2010, 01:36 PM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by pslewis View Post
Squeeze superglue in his lock ....
WARNING! Different posters interpretation of the word 'legally' may differ from those of a judge. Consider the phrase 'criminal damage'.
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Old 19 August 2010, 05:30 PM
  #45  
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if you want him to move out . type a note saying move out or be moved out , (do not touch without durex gloves on ) then at 2-3am pour a gallon of petrol through his letter box , along with note attached to a used (struck) box of matches . sit bach enjoy and wait for the removal van to show up works every time
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Old 19 August 2010, 06:06 PM
  #46  
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Not that applicable if he lives behind you rather than immediately next door, but a friend of mine had a great one a few years ago (whether he's the "annoyed" or the "annoyer" is debatable)...

As a part-time DJ he often listened to music late at night, on quite a nice home hifi in his lounge. His neighbour would complain about the noise, even though it wasn't 'party' level noise and once or twice asked the police to come round and have words with my friend about the noise. On the second visit from the police, at around midnight one night, the copper was asked to set the volume **** at a 'reasonable' level to listen to music that should be acceptable to all. He did so, and my friend took some tippex and marked the ****/dial accordingly.

A couple of weeks later my friend placed a CD in his CD-player, set the volume to "acceptable", hit the "Disc repeat" button - and went on holiday for a fortnight...
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Old 19 August 2010, 06:20 PM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by Dr.No View Post
Not that applicable if he lives behind you rather than immediately next door, but a friend of mine had a great one a few years ago (whether he's the "annoyed" or the "annoyer" is debatable)...

As a part-time DJ he often listened to music late at night, on quite a nice home hifi in his lounge. His neighbour would complain about the noise, even though it wasn't 'party' level noise and once or twice asked the police to come round and have words with my friend about the noise. On the second visit from the police, at around midnight one night, the copper was asked to set the volume **** at a 'reasonable' level to listen to music that should be acceptable to all. He did so, and my friend took some tippex and marked the ****/dial accordingly.

A couple of weeks later my friend placed a CD in his CD-player, set the volume to "acceptable", hit the "Disc repeat" button - and went on holiday for a fortnight...
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Old 19 August 2010, 07:58 PM
  #48  
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Originally Posted by JonMc View Post
Totally agree, make the most of your life and just rub it in his face.

Also, when he complains, just ignore him. Walk away, shut the door on him, juts pretend he's not there and make it clear that you consider him an insignificant lifeform that you are not willing to take time out of your wonderful life for

That's exactly what I do to my neighbour. It winds him up something chronic
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Old 19 August 2010, 08:17 PM
  #49  
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yep -- win the lottery, fuvks em right off (and legal)
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Old 19 August 2010, 09:28 PM
  #50  
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go get a big lump of steel a good angle grinder,

and go at the steel a few times a day everyday should **** him off after a week
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Old 19 August 2010, 09:31 PM
  #51  
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Originally Posted by DaOne View Post
dont fancy a party around your way
You'd be the first one to arrive
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Old 19 August 2010, 09:41 PM
  #52  
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Why don't you "continuously whinging about about different things" it seams to work with you.
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Old 20 August 2010, 12:04 AM
  #53  
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Apart from whinge, what has he done? Has he caused any actual hassle for any of you guys?

Sometimes people just like to complain, it seems to give their life some meaning. If he can't actually get any of you into trouble for anything/hasn't so far, perhaps as frustrating as it seems, it might be best just totally ignoring him.
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Old 20 August 2010, 06:39 AM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by g7prs View Post
**** his wife/daughter/son?

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Old 20 August 2010, 10:38 AM
  #55  
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Go through some magazines and newspapers and look for the stuff you can buy (commemorative watches, jewellery, plates, paintings, clocks etc.) where it's "Send no money now".

Fill in his name and address, send them off (normally freepost) and then sit back in the knowledge that he will shortly be receiving tons of stuff he doesn't want along with a load of letters saying you now owe us "X.XX in however many monthly installments, or return it to us".

He either has to start paying for [email protected] he doesn't want or have the hassle of parcelling it all up and going to the post office to return it all. A few weeks of that will start to annoy him I reckon!
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Old 20 August 2010, 11:10 AM
  #56  
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Play **** very loud throughout the day. (obviously turn it down at 11pm)
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Old 20 August 2010, 11:31 AM
  #57  
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Whatever he whinges about just do that.
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Old 20 August 2010, 06:17 PM
  #58  
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Originally Posted by BlkKnight View Post
Play **** very loud throughout the day. (obviously turn it down at 11pm)
Or go one step further and **** your missus on his doorstep
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Old 20 August 2010, 06:20 PM
  #59  
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Introduce him to this....

https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...ml#post9557583

And make sure she keeps calling
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Old 20 August 2010, 06:39 PM
  #60  
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oh go on then i'll join in

Something we did to a mate of mine once for a laugh after he sent 10 pizza's round to our house was this.

Sign him up to hormone replacement courses! he to she ETC, and book appointments for people to come round and measure up for walk in baths and stairlifts. We were p**sing ourselves laughing when he was telling us how he kept getting these people knocking on his door

Aaron
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