TBH, if you drove to work then there wouldn't be a problem

 

You've all got it wrong...

this is what you need to do.................

Next time they are playing football outside, run outside dressed in full football strip shouting please, please, please let me have a game.

They'll all look confused but agree just so they can have a laugh at you.

Then go in for the first tackle, studs showing, at around neck or waist height as hard as you can. Take them out, leg break if possible Then throw your hands in the air whilst claiming it was a fair tackle as it was a 50/50 ball. Then proceed to crunch every one of the little ******* with every tackle.

When the parents (or police) arrive, just grin inanely (whilst still wearing your football strip, socks as well, full kit needed for this one) and claim that you are the world's keenest footballer but admittedly you can be a bit clumsy.

Bet the kids stop playing in your area pretty soon and move to the park

 

Who was it who replied to a "problem with kids" thread with the suggestion of going out wearing rather strange clothing, smiling intensely at them and offering them to come inside to look at some special magazines, whilst nervously twitching one eye?

Sounded far more effective as a solution than anything involving violence...

 

See, you go putting a hole in their ball then they have nothing else to do, then all you boring old farts will be moaning theyre sitting on the street corner drinking alcohol. Let the kids have their fun, its not like they're actually kicking the ball at your car or house on purpose, if they were then they'd have a thick ear. Least they'd learn to play football somewhere else

 

Qwerty,

If the children are rude and disrespectful it is an indication of their parent's characters also. They will only understand a sharp lesson and puncturing their football is as good a way as any to teach them that they have to think of others beside themselves.

Les

 

That was UB in 'normal' mode

 

kick the **** out of them

 

Hang on, it couldn't have been, it didn't include lectures about the terrible government we have...