need some witty lines for a 40th birthday card
 

Hoping some of scoobynet's better linguists may have something?

Cheers

Is it for male,female,friend,partner etc

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha"

You know your old because it used to be 6 inches and a wrinkle, now its 6 wrinkles and an inch

(presuming your sending to a guy)

lol

female work colleague (I'm her boss) with a very good sense of humour

With Age comes Wisdom.

Unfortunately it also brings something else.

Get on with some work Fat Arse.


You may need to work the last line dependant on your HR Policies :)

Happy 40th Birthday.

Love from Diablo.

Allegedly all the fun starts when you hit 40, so hows about me & you leave work, head to a dirty hotel & get down & jiggy with it :norty:

Though this might not be allowed dependant on your HR Policies :D ;)

:lol:

or standards ;)

Could give you some great lines but I'm not going to. I reckon you need the practice yourself.

They say life begins at 40.....

Unfortunately for you it's clearly over :D

LOL

Hi Alan :)

Forty isn't old, if you're a tree

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people

Ironically, that would work as a "line" in this particular case :D

(Not) glad to be of service. Seeing as she's 40 she's probably desperate as well as wrinkly, who knows she might put out if your lucks in.

Happy 50th

Guaranteed to cheer them up :D

I tell you what, mate, seeing as I am happily married, I'll pass on your picture and email address (I'm sure Lynne will have kept a note of it).

She's pretty fit (in all senses), single,and you never know, might be up for it.

From the rather desparate attempts you are making to be perceived as "taking no prisoners" and a bit "hard" on here it is clear that a good shagging might release some of that pent up tension and stress.

Unless you swing the other way of course and are just in denial..LOL...

Well Doblo the picture isn't me and I don't 'do' grandmas so I'll pass on the offer. Funny you think I'm trying to be 'hard', I thought I was just being funny...........

You're in a minority of one then.

As the sole purpose of being here is to provide me with amusment explain how that has any relevance to me?

finger trouble

"your old as ****, deal with it"

might have sum sort of effect?

"Sorry you had such rubbish middle management, I've resigned."

How about:

"I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm not a plucking pheasant.... that's why I got you this card and not a fcuking present!"

? :D

Or: Life begins at 40, love Swanky xxx

You ... funny??? Now that's gotta be a joke!

Irritating maybe, certainly desparate for attention, but funny ... definitely not!

Buy a happy 30th Birthday card.
And write "who are you trying to kid??" inside ;)


Or buy a Happy 50th card and sign it normally.

Both very cruel...so it depends on your targets suitability ;)

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

I'm an old cnut

And so are Ewe.

'Desperate'

Jokes are funny, you claimed that my statement was a joke. Ergo you just contradicted yourself moron.

Not all jokes are funny, and you of all people should know that!!

And there's only one moron on this thread and i'm sure if we held a poll it would prove conclusively that it's you!